i guess if god wants to make a mockery out of you, there's nothing you can do about it. absolutely nothing. especially since he will go all out to make sure you are played inside out. what chance do you, a mere mortal have against him?

week after week like this, the causes might be different, but the result is still the same, i think you will reach the point whereby you have nothing to say. it is very frustrating. maybe frustration is an understatement.

i know i am not the kind who listen to others. i think i am the kind who will stand in the rain in an act of defiance. even if the whole world might not be with me. i won't take no for an answer.

but i also know that much as i am willing to go it alone, i might not be able to win alone. so sometimes, i don't fight, because i know, alone i would lose.

and it is during times like these, that you really feel miserable. because you are telling yourself you don't have the guts, don't have the faith, don't have the will.

i am really afraid to ask you to make sure we finish fourth, because i asked you not to lose at home, and asked you not to lose two consecutive games again, and you didnt do both today. i think i better keep my mouth shut. i wonder how arsene wenger feels.

i really wonder.