Keiko: Aki's Story
1 June: What can I do?
“Keiko, how are you?” I ask softly as I place the bouquet of flowers on the sand, before stepping back to join Keiko’s parents.
We watch as the tide washes up the shore, slowly dislodging the sand’s weak hold on the bouquet. Soon, the bouquet is floating on the water, being carried along by the tide, further and further away from us; the silvery foil like a beacon in the dark.
Slowly, the sky lights up, turning to dark blue, and then blue, as the horizon is slowly painted orange by the rising sun. By now, I can no longer see the bouquet.
Keiko’s mother slides an arm around mine. “Let’s go back, shall we?”
I nod, and the three of us make our way back to the house.
In the house, as she prepares a quick breakfast, Keiko’s father and I sit in the living room quietly.
He finally breaks the silence, “Sometimes she sees you as a daughter. I hope you can forgive her for that. Even after 7 years, it is still difficult for her to accept that Keiko is gone.”
“It is ok…”
“Sometimes she locks herself in Keiko’s room. I really don’t wish to see her like this…”
He is struggling to control his tears. I hand him a tissue. It is all I can do.
What can I do?
**
2 July: After the rain
The rain has stopped. From my vantage point on the overhead bridge, I can see puddles of water all over the streets, the roads. They glisten under the sun. The few pedestrians carefully skirt the puddles. Occasionally, cars zoom right across them, causing splashes.
The afternoon is strangely tranquil. The rain had sent everyone indoors, under shelter. But now, the sun is out again, drying the streets, spreading warmth.
The rainy season is coming to an end at last.
What happens when the tears have dried?
**
3 August: Keiko
“Hi.”
“Takashi! Where have you been all this while?”
We are standing at our respective doors. Before he can reply, I realize, “Wait, are you staying in that apartment?”
He nods.
“What a coincidence!” I push my door open. “Why don’t you come over for a drink? We can talk properly then.”
“It’s ok here.”
“Oh…so where were you during the last 7 years? At the class gatherings, no one ever knew…it’s like you have disappeared.”
“I was in Kansai. Osaka, then Kobe. I just got posted to Tokyo. That’s why I am here.”
“Oh… that’s great.”
“I went back in June…on Keiko’s anniversary. Her mother tells me that you had already left, and that you go back every year.”
I nod in affirmation. “Keiko was like a sister to me after all. Why makes you decide to go back this year?”
“I realize that I can’t forget her after all… and that I miss her.”
“You have always liked her, right?”
He doesn’t answer my question. Shortly after, we return to our own flats, retreating back into our own worlds, the sole link between us being Keiko.
**
4 September: Who’s that girl?
“Good evening!”
It’s a girl, probably still in college.
“Hi.”
“I am looking for 3-02.”
“It’s here.” I point to the door beside mine. Takashi’s.
“Oh! So it’s here. Thank you, thank you.”
“Welcome,” I give her a nod, before entering my own apartment.
Putting down my bag, a thought hits me hard.
“Who’s that girl?”
**
5 October: Autumn
“Hey Aki! Are you watching the news? They say autumn is coming at last! Temperatures will drop from tomorrow onwards. We have certainly waited for a while, haven’t we?”
“Yeah… summer’s finally gone,” I smile to no one in particular as I continue peeling the potatoes, my phone wedged between my shoulder and ear.
Every year, autumn waits patiently for summer to leave.
**
6 November: Call
“…To record your message,” the recorded voice says smoothly.
“It’s me… How are things? Let’s meet up some time…call me ok?”
**
7 December: He
I turn the doorknob. At that moment, I notice him.
He is standing at his doorway, leaning against it.
“What is it?”
He puts down his left foot, which was pressing on the doorframe behind him, resting it on his right.
“What is it?”
“He was here.” He turns his head at me.
“Oh.” I release the doorknob.
“Yeah, good night.”
I am alone in the hallway.
**
8 January: Waiting
Laughing at the joke on TV, I steal a quick glance at my phone in its charging unit.
It remains stoic and silent. As ever.
**
9 February: Mirror
“Do you really think this can bring Keiko back? Do you really think she’s happy like a prisoner in your heart? Do you really think you are happy like this, living in the past?
“Is this the kind of life you want? Is this the kind of love you want?”
At that moment, I really don’t know which parts of my words are for Takashi, which parts are for him, and which parts are for myself.
**
10 March: Answer
“Thank you for the meal today. I enjoyed myself a lot,” I bow slightly.
“It’s nothing,” he nods in return.
“Shinji, am I going to see you again?”
“Uh…”
I look straight at him, searching for the answer in his eyes. His eyes dart around, and say it all: doubt, hesitation, and a tinge of fear.
“Aki, give me some time…till June. I will give you my answer then.”
**
11 April: Promise
Aki?
Un.
When I leave, can you promise me something?
Don’t talk about such things.
I am serious. Listen to me.
Ok, ok.
Take care of Shinji, ok?
Huh?
He may not look like it, he may act macho and mature, but deep down he is someone who needs a lot of care. Like a kid, you know. He wants to go to Tokyo after high school. But he doesn’t really know how to take care of himself. He can’t even fry an egg and do the laundry. I can’t be with him, so can you help me out? At least until he can survive by himself. Please?
Ok.
Is that a promise?
Yes, that’s a promise.
Great! One worry off my mind…Aki?
Un.
Don’t you dare fall in love with him.
What?
Haha, I am just kidding. Even if you do, it’s ok, really.
What nonsense.
Aki?
Yes.
It’s ok if you fall in love with him. Really.
**
12 May: Gone
He left today. While I was at work. Without saying goodbye. Just like that.
Without leaving a forwarding address. Even his phone is no longer in use.
As though he is trying to erase all traces of himself.
What about those words, said a month ago?
Can you wait for me?
It’s him, isn’t it? Can you say that you really, really love him?
Stop it!
Aki! I’ll be waiting.
Do they mean nothing now?
**
1 June: Alone
“When I went down to the beach this morning, he is already sitting there,” Keiko’s mother tells me.
“I see.”
I look out of the window. I can’t determine where the ocean begins, and where the sky ends. I can’t determine where the ocean ends and the beach begins. But amidst all that, I can still see the lone figure clearly, a dark speck that somehow doesn’t get swallowed up by his surroundings.
“I should get going. Take care. Goodbye.”
“Keiko, how are you?” I ask softly as I place the bouquet of flowers on the sand, before stepping back to join Keiko’s parents.
We watch as the tide washes up the shore, slowly dislodging the sand’s weak hold on the bouquet. Soon, the bouquet is floating on the water, being carried along by the tide, further and further away from us; the silvery foil like a beacon in the dark.
Slowly, the sky lights up, turning to dark blue, and then blue, as the horizon is slowly painted orange by the rising sun. By now, I can no longer see the bouquet.
Keiko’s mother slides an arm around mine. “Let’s go back, shall we?”
I nod, and the three of us make our way back to the house.
In the house, as she prepares a quick breakfast, Keiko’s father and I sit in the living room quietly.
He finally breaks the silence, “Sometimes she sees you as a daughter. I hope you can forgive her for that. Even after 7 years, it is still difficult for her to accept that Keiko is gone.”
“It is ok…”
“Sometimes she locks herself in Keiko’s room. I really don’t wish to see her like this…”
He is struggling to control his tears. I hand him a tissue. It is all I can do.
What can I do?
**
2 July: After the rain
The rain has stopped. From my vantage point on the overhead bridge, I can see puddles of water all over the streets, the roads. They glisten under the sun. The few pedestrians carefully skirt the puddles. Occasionally, cars zoom right across them, causing splashes.
The afternoon is strangely tranquil. The rain had sent everyone indoors, under shelter. But now, the sun is out again, drying the streets, spreading warmth.
The rainy season is coming to an end at last.
What happens when the tears have dried?
**
3 August: Keiko
“Hi.”
“Takashi! Where have you been all this while?”
We are standing at our respective doors. Before he can reply, I realize, “Wait, are you staying in that apartment?”
He nods.
“What a coincidence!” I push my door open. “Why don’t you come over for a drink? We can talk properly then.”
“It’s ok here.”
“Oh…so where were you during the last 7 years? At the class gatherings, no one ever knew…it’s like you have disappeared.”
“I was in Kansai. Osaka, then Kobe. I just got posted to Tokyo. That’s why I am here.”
“Oh… that’s great.”
“I went back in June…on Keiko’s anniversary. Her mother tells me that you had already left, and that you go back every year.”
I nod in affirmation. “Keiko was like a sister to me after all. Why makes you decide to go back this year?”
“I realize that I can’t forget her after all… and that I miss her.”
“You have always liked her, right?”
He doesn’t answer my question. Shortly after, we return to our own flats, retreating back into our own worlds, the sole link between us being Keiko.
**
4 September: Who’s that girl?
“Good evening!”
It’s a girl, probably still in college.
“Hi.”
“I am looking for 3-02.”
“It’s here.” I point to the door beside mine. Takashi’s.
“Oh! So it’s here. Thank you, thank you.”
“Welcome,” I give her a nod, before entering my own apartment.
Putting down my bag, a thought hits me hard.
“Who’s that girl?”
**
5 October: Autumn
“Hey Aki! Are you watching the news? They say autumn is coming at last! Temperatures will drop from tomorrow onwards. We have certainly waited for a while, haven’t we?”
“Yeah… summer’s finally gone,” I smile to no one in particular as I continue peeling the potatoes, my phone wedged between my shoulder and ear.
Every year, autumn waits patiently for summer to leave.
**
6 November: Call
“…To record your message,” the recorded voice says smoothly.
“It’s me… How are things? Let’s meet up some time…call me ok?”
**
7 December: He
I turn the doorknob. At that moment, I notice him.
He is standing at his doorway, leaning against it.
“What is it?”
He puts down his left foot, which was pressing on the doorframe behind him, resting it on his right.
“What is it?”
“He was here.” He turns his head at me.
“Oh.” I release the doorknob.
“Yeah, good night.”
I am alone in the hallway.
**
8 January: Waiting
Laughing at the joke on TV, I steal a quick glance at my phone in its charging unit.
It remains stoic and silent. As ever.
**
9 February: Mirror
“Do you really think this can bring Keiko back? Do you really think she’s happy like a prisoner in your heart? Do you really think you are happy like this, living in the past?
“Is this the kind of life you want? Is this the kind of love you want?”
At that moment, I really don’t know which parts of my words are for Takashi, which parts are for him, and which parts are for myself.
**
10 March: Answer
“Thank you for the meal today. I enjoyed myself a lot,” I bow slightly.
“It’s nothing,” he nods in return.
“Shinji, am I going to see you again?”
“Uh…”
I look straight at him, searching for the answer in his eyes. His eyes dart around, and say it all: doubt, hesitation, and a tinge of fear.
“Aki, give me some time…till June. I will give you my answer then.”
**
11 April: Promise
Aki?
Un.
When I leave, can you promise me something?
Don’t talk about such things.
I am serious. Listen to me.
Ok, ok.
Take care of Shinji, ok?
Huh?
He may not look like it, he may act macho and mature, but deep down he is someone who needs a lot of care. Like a kid, you know. He wants to go to Tokyo after high school. But he doesn’t really know how to take care of himself. He can’t even fry an egg and do the laundry. I can’t be with him, so can you help me out? At least until he can survive by himself. Please?
Ok.
Is that a promise?
Yes, that’s a promise.
Great! One worry off my mind…Aki?
Un.
Don’t you dare fall in love with him.
What?
Haha, I am just kidding. Even if you do, it’s ok, really.
What nonsense.
Aki?
Yes.
It’s ok if you fall in love with him. Really.
**
12 May: Gone
He left today. While I was at work. Without saying goodbye. Just like that.
Without leaving a forwarding address. Even his phone is no longer in use.
As though he is trying to erase all traces of himself.
What about those words, said a month ago?
Can you wait for me?
It’s him, isn’t it? Can you say that you really, really love him?
Stop it!
Aki! I’ll be waiting.
Do they mean nothing now?
**
1 June: Alone
“When I went down to the beach this morning, he is already sitting there,” Keiko’s mother tells me.
“I see.”
I look out of the window. I can’t determine where the ocean begins, and where the sky ends. I can’t determine where the ocean ends and the beach begins. But amidst all that, I can still see the lone figure clearly, a dark speck that somehow doesn’t get swallowed up by his surroundings.
“I should get going. Take care. Goodbye.”
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