Leave
見えない涙
12:00. K’s cramped room in Kaminakazato.
K removed the guitar lying on her bed, and placed it gently in a corner. “I haven’t had time to clear up.”
“It’s ok,” S said, smiling, as she sat on the bed. She got up again and reached under the blanket- an opened notebook. S took a closer look: music scores were scribbled on it, along with some words. Lyrics, presumably.
“While I Silently Die,” S read aloud.
K, who was busy making coffee tilted her head slightly, “What?”
“While I Silently Die,” S repeated. “Your new song?”
“It’s an old song.”
“I have never heard you sing it before.”
“I have never sung it before.” K returned with the two cups of coffee. “Everything packed?”
S put the book away, “More or less…”
“What time is your flight again tomorrow?”
“10.”
“Less than 24 hours.”
“Maybe you could write a song on that,” S said jokingly.
K had only a troubled expression on her face. “I don’t think I would be able to see you off…I have an appointment at 9 in Shinjuku.”
“It’s all right…I would cry and make a fool out of myself,” S laughed.
“Take care of yourself when you are over there. It’s hard out there.”
“Thank you…I don’t know… I wish I could be like you.”
“Me?” K asked, surprised.
“I think I am too simple sometimes…”
“Isn’t it good to be simple?”
“I don’t know…sometimes I think I am too dependent on others…I need to be strong I guess…Like you. You have always been strong. "
“What’s so good about being strong?” she asked. Then, almost as an afterthought, “Am I really that strong?”
After S left, K pulled aside the window blinds, letting the midday sun in. For a long time, she sat by the window, deep in thought. S’s words replayed themselves in her mind.
S, don’t be like me. I have tried to be too strong, I have been too proud to say anything, bearing every burden on my own, silently. But in the end, I have only hurt the people around me, all the people who matter most to me. And myself.
It’s ok to cry. Cry whenever you want.
最後
16:00. Hair Salon on Omotesando.
S felt someone tap on her shoulder and opened her eyes; she had dozed off. Y was beside her, smiling. “You are next.”
S smiled and followed him. After she was properly settled down, he asked, “How do you want it?”
“I will leave it to you.”
S saw his eyes narrow as he thought about it. “Ok-“ S cut him off. “Don’t tell me about it. I want to be surprised.”
Y laughed. “Ok.”
S watched him in the mirror. He wore a serious expression on his face as he went about the task, combing, trimming, occasionally stopping to make sure everything was in order. Observing him, she smiled.
He must have noticed her smile, somehow. “Why are you smiling?”
“It’s the last time, isn’t it?”
He stopped.
“It’s the last time you are doing my hair for me...” S’s voice trailed off.
Y rested his head on her shoulder as they both looked into the mirror. Then he tilted his head downwards, burying his face in her shoulder.
“I will miss you,” he whispered.
They stayed like that for a while. When he looked up again, his eyes were a little teary.
He sniffed, blinking as he rubbed his eyes with a deft flick of the back of his palm. He smiled into the mirror. His eyes were still moist, and a little swollen. Then, he continued from where he had left off.
At the end of it all, she looked at her new hairstyle in the mirror and smiled. “Thank you. I love
it a lot.”
As she took her leave, he wanted to call out to her; there was so much he wanted to tell her.
Things he would otherwise not have the chance again to say. Things from the depths of his heart.
But he didn’t.
He couldn’t.
We always realise too late.
白黒の写真
20:00. A manga cafe in Ueno.
S looked around the small brightly-lit shop and smiled.
“What are you looking at?” E asked as she sat opposite S, setting the cup down in front of S.
“Your tea.”
“Nothing much…just that this place brings back so many memories…we used to meet here often, didn’t we? T, K, Y, you, me. I miss the old days…K would sit by that corner, listening to her Discman. Y would be all curled up on that old sofa, with a volume of Slam Dunk. You would be behind the counter, tending to the odd customer who’s come in. I would be sitting here…and T…he would be standing by the shelves, leaning against it, browsing a random title…”
“But we can never go back to the past.”
S looked at E in surprise, or was it pain? Pain that E had brought her back to reality, that E had shattered all the wonderful images forming in her mind.
“I am sorry,” E muttered, looking away.
S looked down, into the tea. “It’s all right. I was too silly, to be thinking about the past.” Her eyes darted around and she smiled as she looked up again, “Nothing can stand the test of time.”
“What time are you flying?”
“10.”
E did not say a word. She did not say if she would be sending her off. If she would have the time.
After a while, she stood up and went back to the counter. “That’s soon.”
“Uh.”
“All packed and ready to go?”
“Uh.” S nodded and looked at E, who was wiping the sink.
“We don’t have a lot of time left,” E said, without looking up.
“Uh.”
E stopped and closed her eyes. “Take care.”
A tear rolled down her eye.
I guess we thought this would never end, but those colourful memories have turned into black and white photographs in our album.
自分にさよなら
00:00. S’s room
I am really leaving.
-
It’s really goodbye isn’t it?
-
It’s time to let everything go, isn’t it?
-
Why aren’t you saying anything?
What do you want me to say?
I don’t know.
Can you let go?
It’s not easy. It has been such a big part of my life. Even though in the past year, everything was
slowly slipping away…however hard I try to cling on, to hang on. It was really very difficult. It was like, I was the only person desperately trying to hang on to everything, trying to keep everything as it was. Why am I the only one doing it? Does it mean nothing at all to the rest?
Maybe they don’t know what to do…
But it hurts so much…
It hurts them just as much, just that they never say it…we all have our own ways of dealing with it…maybe for the rest, they choose to run away.
T.
He’s somewhere, awake. Hurting.
When I need him most.
It’s difficult for him too.
I don’t know.
Don’t hate him.
I’ll try.
He has his reasons.
I know.
You love him, don’t you?
Can I forget everything?
Are you sure you want to?
Yes…
Would it help?
I don’t know.
I can’t help you anymore.
I know.
Goodbye.
自由
09:40 Narita Airport
S hugged her parents, and bade them a final farewell as she walked towards the gate. She stopped and looked back, casting a lingering look, a last scan of the crowd. She finally turned and
continued on her way.
From his vantage point, T watched her disappear and whispered, “You are free.”
12:00. K’s cramped room in Kaminakazato.
K removed the guitar lying on her bed, and placed it gently in a corner. “I haven’t had time to clear up.”
“It’s ok,” S said, smiling, as she sat on the bed. She got up again and reached under the blanket- an opened notebook. S took a closer look: music scores were scribbled on it, along with some words. Lyrics, presumably.
“While I Silently Die,” S read aloud.
K, who was busy making coffee tilted her head slightly, “What?”
“While I Silently Die,” S repeated. “Your new song?”
“It’s an old song.”
“I have never heard you sing it before.”
“I have never sung it before.” K returned with the two cups of coffee. “Everything packed?”
S put the book away, “More or less…”
“What time is your flight again tomorrow?”
“10.”
“Less than 24 hours.”
“Maybe you could write a song on that,” S said jokingly.
K had only a troubled expression on her face. “I don’t think I would be able to see you off…I have an appointment at 9 in Shinjuku.”
“It’s all right…I would cry and make a fool out of myself,” S laughed.
“Take care of yourself when you are over there. It’s hard out there.”
“Thank you…I don’t know… I wish I could be like you.”
“Me?” K asked, surprised.
“I think I am too simple sometimes…”
“Isn’t it good to be simple?”
“I don’t know…sometimes I think I am too dependent on others…I need to be strong I guess…Like you. You have always been strong. "
“What’s so good about being strong?” she asked. Then, almost as an afterthought, “Am I really that strong?”
After S left, K pulled aside the window blinds, letting the midday sun in. For a long time, she sat by the window, deep in thought. S’s words replayed themselves in her mind.
S, don’t be like me. I have tried to be too strong, I have been too proud to say anything, bearing every burden on my own, silently. But in the end, I have only hurt the people around me, all the people who matter most to me. And myself.
It’s ok to cry. Cry whenever you want.
最後
16:00. Hair Salon on Omotesando.
S felt someone tap on her shoulder and opened her eyes; she had dozed off. Y was beside her, smiling. “You are next.”
S smiled and followed him. After she was properly settled down, he asked, “How do you want it?”
“I will leave it to you.”
S saw his eyes narrow as he thought about it. “Ok-“ S cut him off. “Don’t tell me about it. I want to be surprised.”
Y laughed. “Ok.”
S watched him in the mirror. He wore a serious expression on his face as he went about the task, combing, trimming, occasionally stopping to make sure everything was in order. Observing him, she smiled.
He must have noticed her smile, somehow. “Why are you smiling?”
“It’s the last time, isn’t it?”
He stopped.
“It’s the last time you are doing my hair for me...” S’s voice trailed off.
Y rested his head on her shoulder as they both looked into the mirror. Then he tilted his head downwards, burying his face in her shoulder.
“I will miss you,” he whispered.
They stayed like that for a while. When he looked up again, his eyes were a little teary.
He sniffed, blinking as he rubbed his eyes with a deft flick of the back of his palm. He smiled into the mirror. His eyes were still moist, and a little swollen. Then, he continued from where he had left off.
At the end of it all, she looked at her new hairstyle in the mirror and smiled. “Thank you. I love
it a lot.”
As she took her leave, he wanted to call out to her; there was so much he wanted to tell her.
Things he would otherwise not have the chance again to say. Things from the depths of his heart.
But he didn’t.
He couldn’t.
We always realise too late.
白黒の写真
20:00. A manga cafe in Ueno.
S looked around the small brightly-lit shop and smiled.
“What are you looking at?” E asked as she sat opposite S, setting the cup down in front of S.
“Your tea.”
“Nothing much…just that this place brings back so many memories…we used to meet here often, didn’t we? T, K, Y, you, me. I miss the old days…K would sit by that corner, listening to her Discman. Y would be all curled up on that old sofa, with a volume of Slam Dunk. You would be behind the counter, tending to the odd customer who’s come in. I would be sitting here…and T…he would be standing by the shelves, leaning against it, browsing a random title…”
“But we can never go back to the past.”
S looked at E in surprise, or was it pain? Pain that E had brought her back to reality, that E had shattered all the wonderful images forming in her mind.
“I am sorry,” E muttered, looking away.
S looked down, into the tea. “It’s all right. I was too silly, to be thinking about the past.” Her eyes darted around and she smiled as she looked up again, “Nothing can stand the test of time.”
“What time are you flying?”
“10.”
E did not say a word. She did not say if she would be sending her off. If she would have the time.
After a while, she stood up and went back to the counter. “That’s soon.”
“Uh.”
“All packed and ready to go?”
“Uh.” S nodded and looked at E, who was wiping the sink.
“We don’t have a lot of time left,” E said, without looking up.
“Uh.”
E stopped and closed her eyes. “Take care.”
A tear rolled down her eye.
I guess we thought this would never end, but those colourful memories have turned into black and white photographs in our album.
自分にさよなら
00:00. S’s room
I am really leaving.
-
It’s really goodbye isn’t it?
-
It’s time to let everything go, isn’t it?
-
Why aren’t you saying anything?
What do you want me to say?
I don’t know.
Can you let go?
It’s not easy. It has been such a big part of my life. Even though in the past year, everything was
slowly slipping away…however hard I try to cling on, to hang on. It was really very difficult. It was like, I was the only person desperately trying to hang on to everything, trying to keep everything as it was. Why am I the only one doing it? Does it mean nothing at all to the rest?
Maybe they don’t know what to do…
But it hurts so much…
It hurts them just as much, just that they never say it…we all have our own ways of dealing with it…maybe for the rest, they choose to run away.
T.
He’s somewhere, awake. Hurting.
When I need him most.
It’s difficult for him too.
I don’t know.
Don’t hate him.
I’ll try.
He has his reasons.
I know.
You love him, don’t you?
Can I forget everything?
Are you sure you want to?
Yes…
Would it help?
I don’t know.
I can’t help you anymore.
I know.
Goodbye.
自由
09:40 Narita Airport
S hugged her parents, and bade them a final farewell as she walked towards the gate. She stopped and looked back, casting a lingering look, a last scan of the crowd. She finally turned and
continued on her way.
From his vantage point, T watched her disappear and whispered, “You are free.”
2 Comments:
haha.someone's room is in the 1st line. :p
Though i wonder, what is the true meaning of freedom?
L
HAHA this is so funny! why are you suddenly J?! o_O;; i thought it was supposed to be X leh! -__-;;
yeah, i totally didnt bother to check the facts abt masters in frankfurt T__T sorry sorry! dunno anything abt over yonder lah >_<;;
...and i think i know who L is :P
PS: i really like this piece..tell you another time ;)
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