everything will be decided in the next few days.

and so it dawned on me that it was really all over. finito.

and it dawned on me that someone won't be around for a while. at least till the 12th.

and it dawned on me that 8th would be the 2nd round thing for the firefly.

and it dawned on me that it's already the 4th.

and i realise the 8th comes before the 12th. so, it's a trial i must go through before the 12th.

and i realise 7th is the np gathering. and i realise i only have 5th and 6th to enjoy myself before the 8th(i prefer sweetness first, bitterness later, cos u nv noe when u r going to die, so u shuld enjoy urself first. if u say u enjoy later, den u die before that, how? oh this doesnt apply to food, cos i trust i wun choke to death, so i finish off the least tastiest stuff first.)

and i realised i was 10 minutes late on friday morning, 240a.m.

and i am wondering why the hell do i care about this, about the 12th.

unless the unthinkable has happened.

maybe.

but did i mention i wanted the ending to be like higaki and ritsuko's?