i have thought hard about it, and i think i am able to pinpoint why i am feeling the way i am. more on that later.
anyway my cousin came over just now with his wife to pick up stuff that we want to send my bro. they are going japan tmr. TMR.
i am so envious. i mean, ja they worked damn hard(they are accountants), so u can say they worked for tis vacation. but i am not tinking abt that. i am tinking onli abt the japan part; how hard they worked, how they "suffered" seemed unimportant.
anyway, ja they are going japan. wow. they are going to hokkaido, kyoto, sendai, tokyo. they are going sendai for the sakura. my cousin-in-law was tellin me tt sendai was to the north of tokyo. i almost blurted out that it was 93 min by train. how coincidental lar. anyway, ja they are going japan.
and i am still here. their imminent departure just accentuates my misery, compounding it.
and my mum was asking me why i only type wif my index fingers. not really, i denied. in fact i think i can type relatively fast. i dun need to look at the board, and i dun type wif just my index fingers. after that, i started to observe my typing. and i realised that i utilise all my left fingers. when i use my right hand however, i cant deny that the last two fingers are less used, and they feel more rigid. just that bit more, in comparison to my left. i think this reinforced my suspicion that i am very left-inclined. after all, i am right-handed. i thot abt it, and decided that maybe my right has the strength, dexterity etc etc, but my left has the feeling, the instinct. things just feel more natural sometimes wif my left. no wonder jun rong wuldnt believe me when i say i am natural right footed. but i do type wif all my fingers k.
i get very restless.
listening to music, being online have become parts of me. so much so that i wouldnt consider myself doing something when i am doing these.
i dont watch tv, except for soccer. and there isnt much anyway. the ones that are shown, like champs league, well, forget it. internationals are rare. and most are quite crappy ones, to be honest. so much for not having scv.
reading? i think i have read too intensively. i am halfway tru murakami's a wild sheep chase. i like it alot; in fact it reinforces my liking for murakami. but jsut now, i tried to pick it up, but i just cant. saturation point, i guess. i guess i am sick of reading, at this moment.
even though i have so many dramas that iw ant to watch, i dun have any. havent got around to any. too lazy to. and i dun really have alot of time, and i dun really like the idea of watching like 3 discs this weekend, and continuing the next weekend. i prefer to finish it within a week or something. continuous. anyway, i dun have any at the moment.
soccer is out too, cos we have no one left.
there arent really any movies that i am dying to watch. except daisy, which isnt out yet.
going out? when you get back, it's like returning to an empty shell. the emptiness jsut comes back after the euphoria. moreover, there are lesser and lesser options. losing contact everywhere. and i dont think i would enjoy talking to some people in our current states. wrong frequency, get wad i mean?
i want a break from running too.
i dun really want to sleep. and even when i lie on my bed, i will start thinking.
basically, most of the time, i am thinking about stuff. on the train, walking, with people. soon, it will come under the "Secondary" category, along with listening to music and onlining. and i have one less thing that can make me feel occupied, less restless.
and i am very restless now. and singapore's getting boring. the places are like all the same. jaded, maybe we are too used to things here, maybe we need a change. plus my cousin's going japan. how many times have i said that? anyway, that made me felt worse.
nowadays u see quite a few pple wearing those kind of jackets that have the names of countries printed behind. like nederland. today i saw one wif argentina. they are kinda cool, remind me of the stadtjacke that was pretty hot in germany in 2004. those with the names of the states in front. i had so wanted to get one then. but couldnt really find them. all sold out. or no size. back to singapore: i want to get the nederland one, but i was thinking: i was already sweating when i was walking around, and today's already pretty cool, considering it was raining, so how the heck am i going to find a chance to wear that?
there's a void in me.
anyway my cousin came over just now with his wife to pick up stuff that we want to send my bro. they are going japan tmr. TMR.
i am so envious. i mean, ja they worked damn hard(they are accountants), so u can say they worked for tis vacation. but i am not tinking abt that. i am tinking onli abt the japan part; how hard they worked, how they "suffered" seemed unimportant.
anyway, ja they are going japan. wow. they are going to hokkaido, kyoto, sendai, tokyo. they are going sendai for the sakura. my cousin-in-law was tellin me tt sendai was to the north of tokyo. i almost blurted out that it was 93 min by train. how coincidental lar. anyway, ja they are going japan.
and i am still here. their imminent departure just accentuates my misery, compounding it.
and my mum was asking me why i only type wif my index fingers. not really, i denied. in fact i think i can type relatively fast. i dun need to look at the board, and i dun type wif just my index fingers. after that, i started to observe my typing. and i realised that i utilise all my left fingers. when i use my right hand however, i cant deny that the last two fingers are less used, and they feel more rigid. just that bit more, in comparison to my left. i think this reinforced my suspicion that i am very left-inclined. after all, i am right-handed. i thot abt it, and decided that maybe my right has the strength, dexterity etc etc, but my left has the feeling, the instinct. things just feel more natural sometimes wif my left. no wonder jun rong wuldnt believe me when i say i am natural right footed. but i do type wif all my fingers k.
i get very restless.
listening to music, being online have become parts of me. so much so that i wouldnt consider myself doing something when i am doing these.
i dont watch tv, except for soccer. and there isnt much anyway. the ones that are shown, like champs league, well, forget it. internationals are rare. and most are quite crappy ones, to be honest. so much for not having scv.
reading? i think i have read too intensively. i am halfway tru murakami's a wild sheep chase. i like it alot; in fact it reinforces my liking for murakami. but jsut now, i tried to pick it up, but i just cant. saturation point, i guess. i guess i am sick of reading, at this moment.
even though i have so many dramas that iw ant to watch, i dun have any. havent got around to any. too lazy to. and i dun really have alot of time, and i dun really like the idea of watching like 3 discs this weekend, and continuing the next weekend. i prefer to finish it within a week or something. continuous. anyway, i dun have any at the moment.
soccer is out too, cos we have no one left.
there arent really any movies that i am dying to watch. except daisy, which isnt out yet.
going out? when you get back, it's like returning to an empty shell. the emptiness jsut comes back after the euphoria. moreover, there are lesser and lesser options. losing contact everywhere. and i dont think i would enjoy talking to some people in our current states. wrong frequency, get wad i mean?
i want a break from running too.
i dun really want to sleep. and even when i lie on my bed, i will start thinking.
basically, most of the time, i am thinking about stuff. on the train, walking, with people. soon, it will come under the "Secondary" category, along with listening to music and onlining. and i have one less thing that can make me feel occupied, less restless.
and i am very restless now. and singapore's getting boring. the places are like all the same. jaded, maybe we are too used to things here, maybe we need a change. plus my cousin's going japan. how many times have i said that? anyway, that made me felt worse.
nowadays u see quite a few pple wearing those kind of jackets that have the names of countries printed behind. like nederland. today i saw one wif argentina. they are kinda cool, remind me of the stadtjacke that was pretty hot in germany in 2004. those with the names of the states in front. i had so wanted to get one then. but couldnt really find them. all sold out. or no size. back to singapore: i want to get the nederland one, but i was thinking: i was already sweating when i was walking around, and today's already pretty cool, considering it was raining, so how the heck am i going to find a chance to wear that?
there's a void in me.
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