dream-like

max is right. after you have done it, when everything is over, you will always feel that it wasn't as bad as it had seemed to be. maybe because we have been there and done it, so we have the bragging rights. but i wouldnt really say bragging rights. it was more like relief that it was over. because i certainly wouldnt want to go through it again.

you want to take alevels again meh?

last year this time.

went back for open day yest. talked to ms ho wif max. that was how max came to this conclusion, when we talked about the past.

then we played a bit. couldnt resist the temptation after all. took the first step to banishing the ghost of the past, the burden and all. but not there yet.

but it is really very nice to aim at the big goal posts. it is just very different. it's been a while. shooting like crazy on thursday and friday.

and on thursday, something amazing happened. suspending yourself in the dream-like state. i came out with this phrase a while back. and i think it really happens. at that moment in time, you are really not you, but someone else. 4 or 5 times that day. i am not sure if i can do it again. but i would love to. ghosting. that's what i call it.

i am reading kafka on the shore now. i must say i am pleasantly surprised by what i have read so far. it's so murakami, yet so refreshingly new. it's like another way murakami would have done it, but just hasnt, at least until now. you could have anticipated it, but you didnt.

or maybe it's just because i haven read murakami for a while.

when old things come back, they can seem a little different.