Sunday, May 06, 2007

enttaeuschung

i can't believe i have been living with disappointment for more than a month now.

that makes it 5, 6 times perhaps. maybe once or twice, it should be considered acceptable, but maybe my expectations are just too high. and i do wonder why do i need to be so perfectionistic sometimes, when even the pros fail to deliver.

but it has been disappointing. and i realise that when the chips are down, the knives are out as well. and there isn't any support. and alot of factors make it even harder to come through. today was supposed to be the best chance. but as early as yesterday, i know it was not going to be easy. and the first thing i saw in the morning confirmed my worst fear.

all these matter because i can't do it myself, i hate to admit it.

what really happened? i don't think i will ever understand.it's like you forgot everything all of a sudden.

i just know i need to get everything back on track.

you have to fight for your own happiness.

my happiness is at stake here.

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