regret

happy birthday to your mother.

it is today right?

i realise i still think of you.

on the third night, i actually dreamt.

when i woke up, i thought you were there.

actually i wanted to tell you to say happy birthday to your mother on my behalf, when i called you last night.

but somehow, the words couldn't come out.

actually it is always like this.

i have alot to say to you.

but the words just don't come out.

so i say i prefer to hear your voice, hear you speak.

i am sorry it turned out like that. 4th Jan.

i was trying to commit myself to turn away.

but now i realise i couldnt.

let's start over again.

and someone told me i talk about you alot here.
maybe.
must be.