galileo's sexy voice and robo

watching two somewhat similar, yet different dramas: detective galileo, which is still airing in japan, and sexy voice and robo.

galileo stars kou shibasaki as a rookie detective utsumi, and the evergreen masaharu fukuyama as the eccentric professor yukawa. together, they solve crime mysteries using science. sounds like the Trick series. anyway, what's great about this show is the great chemistry between the two leads. yukawa is calm, rational, while utsumi is impulsive and irrational. they make an unlikely pair, and certainly encounter some interesting mysteries. they also have guest stars like ryoko hirosue, suzuka ohgo and maki horikita.

sexy voice and robo is adapted from a manga about a spy team consisting of a girl who has an acute sense of hearing and the ability to manipulate her voice(sexy voice) and an otaku (robo). ohgo suzuka is niko(sexy voice), while kenichi matsuyama, L in Deathnote, is robo. again, they are a very unlikely pair. niko is rather mature for her age(she's a middle-schooler and ohgo herself is only 14), even if she is prone to showing her vulnerability as a kid sometimes, while robo is just like a kid. unlike galileo, they dun really solve cases, but carry out tasks given by an eccentric antique trader, with the help of her joker sidekick Yocchan(okada yoshinori). i think yocchan and robo provide comic relief, in robo's case, especially when niko's elder sister kasumi (murakami eri) comes into the picture.

what i really like about this is niko's random musings. they really reflect a young person trying to fathom the world, and it's very real as well.

"because happiness comes in different forms to different people, our paths are separate."

"We didnt think that would be our last time. It wasnt because we fought or because someone moved away. We just ended up not seeing each other again. Probably we thought we could always meet."

incidentally, ohgo suzuka was the young zhang ziyi in memoirs of a geisha. interestingly, she is a left-hander.

Chance

At that corner of the street, walking in opposite directions, we could have brushed past each other without even knowledge of each other’s presence, let alone any form of acknowledgement.

But we stopped in our tracks.

“Red-Jacket?”

“Nana?”

She was nodding furiously, a smile slowly forming.

“Nana! I can’t believe it’s you! What a coincidence!”

“Me neither! What are you doing here?”

“Me? I was visiting a relative. What about you?”

“I live here. This building. Do you want to come up for a drink? It’s too cold to be standing here talking.”

“Sounds good.”

On our way to her apartment, we stopped by at the convenience store where we picked up some beer and snacks.

“I am sorry it’s a mess.”

“No, no, it’s ok.”

“Here, you can sit here.”

“Thank you.”

“A beer.”

“Thanks.”

“Are you still living in our hometown?”

“Yeah. I am flying back tomorrow morning.”

“Oh. We haven’t gone back after we moved here. That’s like 14, no 15 years ago.”

“Yeah, your family moved away in Grade 4 of elementary school.”

“You still remember so clearly.”

“Of course. I had to look for new friends to play with after you left.”

“Red-Jacket, is the little hill behind our houses where we always played still there?”

“It is, they haven’t level it. And can you please stop calling me that?”

“I have always called you that! Blame your red jacket. When it snows, the whole town gets covered in white, and it is always so easy to spot you in your red jacket.” She laughed. “You know, I missed being a kid. Playing before school, between lessons, after school, building snowmen in winter…it was so carefree back then!”

“Yeah…and helping your mother with the baking. I don’t know how you always manage to get your face all smeared with butter and flour.”

“I did not!”

“You did.”

“Well, who was the one who couldn’t crack an egg properly? We always had to fish for the broken eggshells in the bowl. You have nothing to say now, eh?”

“Well, what about that time when we went to the haunted house?”

“What about that?”

“Well, you were screaming your head off when that old man appeared.”

“That’s because you screamed first.”

“No, you screamed first.”

“You did. I have proof.” She got up and went to a drawer. She rummaged around it in before producing a book. “My diary back then. When was it?”

“Grade 3?”

“Ok, let me see…Here! ‘When the door swung open and the oldest man I have ever seen appeared, Red-Jacket screamed and ran. Hearing him scream, I screamed too and ran after him…’ See?”

She showed it to me, smug.

“Well, you fabricated it, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t. I am very honest with my diary, ok?”

“Let me read it.”

She nodded.

I started to thumb through the old, yellowed pages. Suddenly, she made a grab for the book. “Wait, you can’t!”

I managed to hold her off. “Why not?”

“You can’t!”

“Is there some secret in it?”

In our tussle, something flew out from the pages. We stopped. I bent down to pick it up. It was an old photo. A small photo of a boy and a girl. I recognized them immediately. Nana and me.

She took it from me. “You always looked like you were up to some mischief.”

I grinned and turned away from her with the book. She realized what was happening and tried to wrestle the book back.

I stopped resisting. Her eyes fell to the page I was at. “That’s so long ago. We were just kids then.”
**
We were back at the corner of the street.

“Thanks for everything. It was great to see you again.”

“Safe flight tomorrow. Send me some local produce to remind me of our hometown.”

I nodded.

She looked down for a moment, then smiled, a hand brushing through her hair. “So I guess it’s goodbye.”

“Goodbye, Erina.”

“Goodbye…Daisuke.”

We both laughed. I waved again, before turning away, in the direction I was headed 3 hours earlier, before a coincidental meeting had brought us together briefly.

Someone once said: There is no such thing as a coincidence. Things happen by the will of people.

When I grow up, I want to marry Red-Jacket.

Keiko: Takashi's Story

1 June: Her Journal
During the bus ride, he did not say a single word.

We climbed up the steep stairs to reach the top of the hill. There was a small tombstone. On it was inscribed: Iwamasa Hiroyuki 1922-1997

He stood in front of it for a while, without saying a single word. I could not find my words either.

He finally spoke, “He’s my grandfather.”

I didn’t know what to say.

Then, he shut his eyes and continued, “Yesterday was his first death anniversary. I skipped it.”

He swallowed hard and his voice quivered a little. “I hate him. I hate him. He was a lieutenant during the war. Even right up till his death, he still believed that they were right, that they did no wrong.”

Even right up till that moment, Takashi never said what was in his heart.

I close Keiko’s journal. Her mother had handed it to me saying, “This is her journal. After all these years, perhaps you might want to read it…to understand her a little more.”

I take a good look around her room. It has been kept neat and tidy, even though no one has been using it for a long time. From the window, one could see the Pacific Ocean.

A series of light knocks on the door cause me to turn my head towards the door. Her mother enters and shuts the door noiselessly after her. Seeing me by the window, she must have guessed that I was staring at the sea. She says, “Keiko loved the sea. She wanted this room because it looks out to the sea.”

When I finally leave the house, I walk along the road, my eyes fixed to my right, on the beach and the Pacific Ocean beyond, like what Keiko would have done on her way to the bus stop.

I stop at the bench by the stairs leading down to the beach. 7 years ago, we sat here. It was the first time I talked to him. As in the first time I really talked to him, other than just say ‘Hi.’

I asked him, “So what are you going to do now?”

He replied, “Watch the sunrise over the Pacific Ocean.” He smiled slightly. “It was her last wish.”

Keiko died 7 years ago. I could still remember vividly that day when our homeroom teacher entered the classroom to tell us the news. The girls hugged one another and wailed, as the boys struggled to control their emotions. I only looked at the empty seat beside me and realized that Keiko was never coming back. When she first vacated it around two months ago to stay in the hospital, I told her I would keep it for her till she came back. She smiled, but there were tears in her eyes.

We all went to her funeral. Everyone liked Keiko. She was a nice girl who only had kind words for others. She was always there for others; she was the sort who would do everything she could to help someone in need. Frankly, time without her in the class was…weird. It wasn’t because I was suddenly sitting alone; it was as if the classroom was soulless. I am sure I wasn’t the only one who felt that way. We were all hoping that miraculously, she would return.

Of course, as we found out that day, miracles and hopes often fail the test of reality.

I was often asked, jokingly or otherwise, if I was in love with Keiko.

I was only a friend. A special friend, perhaps. But only a friend. Her boyfriend was Shinji. Aoki Shinji. From the next class. He was at the funeral too. In fact, we stood side by side as her parents scattered her ash over the ocean. We watched, as the whitish, grayish powder that was all that was left of Keiko, flutter briefly in the air, like falling powdered snow, before being swallowed up by the vast blue ocean.

After everything was over, while I was walking to the bus stop alone, I came across him sitting on the bench alone. Joining him on the bench, we sat there quietly for a while, as I tried to think of what to say. I didn’t know why I tried so hard. But in the end, I asked him what he was going to do. His answer told me that somehow, I should leave.

That I shouldn’t really be looking at this stretch of the Pacific Ocean.
**
2 July: Locked
“Write to me even when you are in Tokyo,” she says as she watches me help the truckers load my things into the truck.

I wipe off the sweat from my brow. “What’s there to write to you about?”

“Don’t be like this.”

“Ok, ok. I will tell you about the apartment. Yeah, that’s all. Thanks!” I raise an arm in acknowledgement and watch, as the truck drives off.

“Finally it’s done,” I mutter to myself. Then, remembering her presence, I say, “Well, it’s late, you should get going. I’ll walk you to the station.”

She nods.

I wave as she prepares to pass through the turnstiles. “See you. Work hard, make sure you learn something from school.”

She waves back, “I think I should learn how to pick locks first.”

“Why?”

She shakes her head and smiles ruefully. “Takashi, if you wish to love again, you have to let go of whatever’s left in your heart. Goodbye.”
**
3 August: Aki
I push open the window, allowing sunlight to stream in. Immediately, the room brightens up. Unlike my previous apartment, this one looks out to the street. Certainly very different from looking at the narrow alley between two buildings.

It’s really a beautiful day.

Then, I notice a young lady crossing the street, walking in my direction. She looks familiar. As I struggle to put a name to her face, she continues on her way, only looking straight ahead. Yamase Aki. My high school classmate. I watch her disappear into the building.

Later on, when I head for the convenience store around the corner, I instinctively turn to look at the mailboxes at the entrance of the building.

Aki Yamase
3-01

So, I am her new neighbour.
**
4 September: Yuki
“Eh?”

“Surprise!” She grins and peers in. “Oh my god, is this where you live? Is this even fit for humans to live?”

I shrug. “What are you doing here anyway?”

“You never wrote!” she says accusingly.

“How did you even find this place?”

“I went to your old office to get the number of your Tokyo office.”

I shake my head.

“Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

I open the door wider.

She steps in, pulling a suitcase behind her. She looks at my shocked face. “Well, I am staying for a while. Holiday, you know.”

“You gotta be kidding.”
**
5 October: Message
As suddenly as she had arrived, I wake up to find Yuki gone. She had stuck a note on the refrigerator though.

“Gone back home. Thanks for everything in this one month. You know, your neighbour is a nice girl. Ever considered her? You know what I think? Maybe you don’t love the-girl-in-your-heart as much as you think you do. She is just an excuse you give for never falling in love with another girl again. The truth is that her rejection, her treatment of you as a normal friend hurt you a lot, so much so that you are so scared to go through something similar again. In short, you are afraid to get hurt, so you never try. Why don’t you take it easy on yourself, give yourself some time? Take your time…try it out… it’s like a baby taking its first step.- Yuki”
**
6 November: Cold
The weather is starting to turn cold. Just as well. Sometimes it is good to let the cold numb you. I shiver slightly as I type.

Takashi says:
Back in school, even though we were in the same class, and she sat next to the person beside me, we never really talked, partly because there was an aisle between that person and her, and partly because that person was her best friend. And her best friend is the-girl-in-my-heart.

Yuki is feeling cold =( says:
Uh huh.

Takashi says:
Is there anything else you can say?

Yuki. Autumn’s finally here! =) says:
Hmmm

Takashi says:
Can’t you say something of some value?

Yuki. Autumn’s finally here! =) says:
Well, what do you want me to say?
**
7 December: Emptiness

I open the door.

But the hallway is empty.
**
8 January: Questions
I never got around to asking Aki why he had come to look for her.

I never got around to asking myself why couldn’t he come to look for her.

I never got around to asking myself why I had gotten so worked up.

I never got around to asking myself if it was entirely because of Keiko.

Perhaps that’s because if I start asking these questions, I will feel guilty.
**
9 February: Drunk
I can’t remember who invited whom for drinks at the bar.

I must have gotten myself drunk, because suddenly I hear myself telling her everything.

"I left, because I felt I had no right to be there. That place solely belongs to Keiko and Shinji. It was so difficult to sit beside her. What was worse was that it didn’t mean anything to her: whoever sat beside her didn’t matter, because he or she would just be a friend. Nothing more. I am nothing more than a friend. I can’t be that. Not then, not now. She’s still in my heart, locked in there forever.”

That’s when Aki bursts out. And I realize that she is suffering as much as I am.
**
10 March: Macallan
11 at night, I am alone in the bar. Sipping a Macallan single malt Scotch whisky.
**
11 April: Closed Door

Before I know it, I reach out and grab her arm. “Can you say that you really, really love him?”

“Stop it!” She breaks free and with tears in her eyes, rushes into her apartment, slamming the door shut behind her.

I shout through the closed door, “Aki! I’ll be waiting.”

But I can’t wait forever.
**
12 May: Moving on
“Is that all?”

“Yes, that’s all,” I nod. “I’ll be counting on you then.”

“No problem.”

After they drive off with my belongings, I go back up to my apartment. I walk around it one last time, just to make sure I have left nothing, before I lock it up.

I glance at her door. She isn’t back yet.

Goodbye, I mouth.
**
1 June: It’s too late

“Mr. Iwamasa?”

“Yes?”

“This letter is for you. Sent from the Tokyo office.”

“Oh. Thank you.” He hands me the envelope.

“Iwamasa Takashi.”

I flip it over. “Yamase Aki.”

I open it.

‘Takashi, where are you? They wouldn’t tell me where you were posted. So I thought I would write a letter to you, and hopefully they would forward it to you. Takashi, I have been looking for you. Call me. Aki’

I put the letter back in its envelope.

“It’s too late isn’t it, Aki?”

Keiko: Shinji's Story

1 June: Summer Rain
I stand there for a while, observing the waves rise and fall, crashing into the soft sand, tickling my bare toes, before leaving foamy bubbles in their wake, as the cycle repeats itself again and again. The breeze gently caresses my face, as I take in the smell of the ocean, which seems to be a mixture of salt and Keiko.

“Hey Kei, have I loved you like I should have?” I whisper to the wind.

When it returns again, it doesn’t bring her answer.

But a plea.

Raindrops begin to fall on my face- the first rain of the summer.

“Don’t cry.”

I pick up my shoes and turn away, towards the house not far away, my own tears mixed with the rain.
**

“Shinji! How have you been?”

“I am fine…what about you?”

Keiko’s mother only smiles and nods as she welcomes me into the house. Sitting me down at the sofa, she disappears into the kitchen, reappearing with some tea.

“I am sorry I am so late,” I say as she hands me a cup.

She shakes her head profusely. “It’s ok. You are busy enough. I am sure Keiko would understand.”

I swirl the tea gently in its cup.

She sips a little from hers. “Oh, Aki was here this morning. And one of her classmates came earlier in the afternoon. The Iwamasa boy, I shouldn’t really say boy, he’s all grown up now.”

I stop swirling. “Iwamasa?”

She nods. “I am heartened to see that Keiko’s friends still remember her after all these years. They don’t come every year, unlike Aki and you… but they do come. Most of you young people have moved away to the cities, so coming back isn’t always convenient. That’s why I am really grateful, especially to you and Aki.”

“How is Aki?”

“Doing well…I thought you should know, since both of you live in Tokyo, and you always come together. Except this year.”

I resume swirling. “I haven’t seen her in a while.”

“Have you got a girlfriend?”

I stop. The tea spins around the cup a little more, before all is still again.

“It’s ok to tell me. In fact, I would be very happy for you.”

I smile as I bring the cup up to my mouth, burying my gaze in the cup. “There really isn’t anyone.”

“What about Aki?”

“What about her?”

“She is a nice girl.”

I put the cup down. I do not say a word, but smile.

She laughs embarrassedly. “I am being too nosy. I am sorry.”

I shake my head. “I guess I should get going. I have disturbed you.”

As I prepare to step out of the house, she holds me by the arm. “Shinji…why don’t you let her go?”

I stand there for a while, before turning to her with a smile. “I am going.”

She releases her grip, and I take my leave.
**
2 July: Heart
I didn’t leave because I could get on with my life as though nothing had happened. I left, because I needed to go somewhere where I wouldn’t see Kei’s shadow, hear her voice all the time. I thought that by leaving, I would be able to get on with my life.

But I was wrong.

Kei has been living in my heart all this while.
**
3 August: Yamanote
It is very late. Other than the two high school girls chatting excitedly opposite me, and another girl reading her book, there isn’t anyone else in the carriage. I unzip my briefcase and takes out the small leather-bound book that I always have with me for the past 7 years- Kei’s diary for me. Her mother had passed it to me a few days after the funeral, because Kei had stuck a note with ‘For Shinji’ on the cover.

I flip it open to the first page. “For Shinji,” it says.

I flip to the next page.

11 April 1999
Dear Shinji,

I thought I should start writing to you. There are always so many things which I want to tell you about, like this hospital room I am in, for instance. I don’t really like it. Even though I have been in and out of the hospital a lot, I still don’t like the wards. They just seem so artificial. There is a window here, but it looks out to the main entrance and car park of the hospital, not the Pacific Ocean. Naturally, I am disappointed, but at least I will know when you are coming.

I think I must start liking my environment, or at least get used to it; after all, it seems that I will be living here from now on. My parents just told me that they have withdrawn me from the school. I must have been very silly, insisting on starting the new school term, even with my condition. But at that time, I really, really thought I could.

Hey Shinji…I might leave you soon.

“Nippori. Nippori.”

I close the diary, put it into my briefcase and alight. Only the girl reading the book remains in the carriage.
**
4 September: Fireworks
The fireworks suddenly illuminate the night sky.

Subconsciously, I get up from my seat to take a closer look by the window.

Kei liked nothing more than setting off fireworks on the beach by her house during the summer: She would squeal in delight, one arm grabbing my arm, the other hand pointing at the velvety sky which at once would transform into a blank canvas for the fireworks to showcase their artistry.

I tug at the cord, and the cover falls over the window.

She was once here beside me.
**
5 October: Summer
“Hey Shinji, summer is finally ending! I can already feel it getting cooler, although I am eagerly anticipating the day when the day temperature drops below 20 degrees. But it’s great, isn’t it? No more hot, humid weather, no more sweating like a dog.”

“Uh,” I acknowledge without looking up from my computer screen.
**
6 November: Hesitation
I stare at the screen of my phone for a while, before flipping it shut. I look around, lost amidst the crowd in Harajuku, scanning for a familiar face. But to no avail. Then I flip it open and stare at it again.

I finally flip it shut, stuffing it in my pocket.
**
7 December: Have you forgotten her?
Without acknowledging my presence, he squeezes past me to get to the apartment beside Aki’s. As he fishes for his keys, I ask him, “Do you know when Aki will be back?”

He unlocks the door. “Have you forgotten her?”

I watch, as he enters his apartment. After about 5 minutes, I decide to leave too.
**
8 January: Never, ever.
On nights like this, walking home in the cold, I will hear his question over and over again.

I haven’t forgotten her.

I don’t think I ever will.

Never, ever.
**
9 February: Smile
Shinji,

You don’t smile a lot nowadays. You try very hard to smile, but even so, I know you are troubled. If smiling is so difficult, please don’t smile. Let me know what’s troubling you. Don’t keep everything to yourself.
**
10 March: Memories
I try not to look, but can’t help myself.

The two high school students sitting across from me are laughing loudly, behaving as though they were the only people in the carriage. They are listening to a MP3, sharing a set of earphones. The girl listens intently, her head bobbing to the rhythm, occasionally looking up at the boy’s face, breaking into another smile. He smiles like he is the happiest person alive.

“Uguisudani. Uguisudani.”

My stop is next, but I can’t take it anymore and gets off here. They are alone in the carriage now.
**
11 April: Spring
8 years ago, on this day, Kei was hospitalized.

I went to the hospital every day after school; it became second nature to me. Each time, Kei would be sitting on her bed, waiting with a smile. Almost as if she had already known I was coming. I never realized that the entrance of the hospital could be seen from her window.

One day, she told me that she was bored having to stay in the bed all the time. By then, her condition was already too serious for her to move around.

“When you get better, I will take you out. What would you like to do?”

“See the sunrise over the Pacific Ocean,” was her prompt reply.

I nodded.

“Hey Shinji.”

“What is it?”

“I wish that we could be like this forever.”

I only smiled. A weak smile.

After school the next day, I went to the hospital again. Just before I opened the door, I put on a smile. The smile promptly disappeared when I saw the empty bed.

She had left. Before summer had even arrived.
**
12 May: Last Wish
Hey Shinji,
I really wish we could be like this forever. I pray to God every night, hoping that I can wake up the next day to see you again.

Sometimes I wonder if I am too naïve, to actually believe in eternity.

Shinji, I am kind of tired. I am kind of tired from having to fight just to see you for a while more. I keep fighting, so as to get closer to you, to walk towards you, to be in your future with you. But someone is holding me back.

Shinji, I think I am losing.

When I leave, can you please don’t ever let go of me?

I was joking. It would be too selfish for me to ask that of you.

But Shinji, please live well even after I am gone. And don’t forget me so quickly or I think I will get jealous. Let go of me bit by bit, ok?

Shinji, goodnight.
**
1 June: Sweet dreams
I have been sitting on this beach since the previous night, listening to the waves and the wind, watching the colour of the sky change from dark to light blue, and back to dark again.

The alarm on my phone sounds. I deactivate it as I get to my feet.

It is midnight.

I pick up the leather-bound book and carefully dust off the sand. I walk towards the waves. It is dark, and there isn’t much of a moon tonight. But soon, I can feel the coolness of the water lapping up my bare feet. I proceed further, until my ankles are in the water. I shiver a little; the water is cold.

I gently place the book on the water.

"Sweet dreams, Kei,” I whisper.

Keiko: Aki's Story

1 June: What can I do?
“Keiko, how are you?” I ask softly as I place the bouquet of flowers on the sand, before stepping back to join Keiko’s parents.

We watch as the tide washes up the shore, slowly dislodging the sand’s weak hold on the bouquet. Soon, the bouquet is floating on the water, being carried along by the tide, further and further away from us; the silvery foil like a beacon in the dark.

Slowly, the sky lights up, turning to dark blue, and then blue, as the horizon is slowly painted orange by the rising sun. By now, I can no longer see the bouquet.

Keiko’s mother slides an arm around mine. “Let’s go back, shall we?”

I nod, and the three of us make our way back to the house.

In the house, as she prepares a quick breakfast, Keiko’s father and I sit in the living room quietly.

He finally breaks the silence, “Sometimes she sees you as a daughter. I hope you can forgive her for that. Even after 7 years, it is still difficult for her to accept that Keiko is gone.”

“It is ok…”

“Sometimes she locks herself in Keiko’s room. I really don’t wish to see her like this…”

He is struggling to control his tears. I hand him a tissue. It is all I can do.

What can I do?
**
2 July: After the rain
The rain has stopped. From my vantage point on the overhead bridge, I can see puddles of water all over the streets, the roads. They glisten under the sun. The few pedestrians carefully skirt the puddles. Occasionally, cars zoom right across them, causing splashes.

The afternoon is strangely tranquil. The rain had sent everyone indoors, under shelter. But now, the sun is out again, drying the streets, spreading warmth.

The rainy season is coming to an end at last.

What happens when the tears have dried?
**
3 August: Keiko

“Hi.”

“Takashi! Where have you been all this while?”

We are standing at our respective doors. Before he can reply, I realize, “Wait, are you staying in that apartment?”

He nods.

“What a coincidence!” I push my door open. “Why don’t you come over for a drink? We can talk properly then.”

“It’s ok here.”

“Oh…so where were you during the last 7 years? At the class gatherings, no one ever knew…it’s like you have disappeared.”

“I was in Kansai. Osaka, then Kobe. I just got posted to Tokyo. That’s why I am here.”

“Oh… that’s great.”

“I went back in June…on Keiko’s anniversary. Her mother tells me that you had already left, and that you go back every year.”

I nod in affirmation. “Keiko was like a sister to me after all. Why makes you decide to go back this year?”

“I realize that I can’t forget her after all… and that I miss her.”

“You have always liked her, right?”

He doesn’t answer my question. Shortly after, we return to our own flats, retreating back into our own worlds, the sole link between us being Keiko.
**
4 September: Who’s that girl?
“Good evening!”

It’s a girl, probably still in college.

“Hi.”

“I am looking for 3-02.”

“It’s here.” I point to the door beside mine. Takashi’s.

“Oh! So it’s here. Thank you, thank you.”

“Welcome,” I give her a nod, before entering my own apartment.

Putting down my bag, a thought hits me hard.

“Who’s that girl?”
**
5 October: Autumn
“Hey Aki! Are you watching the news? They say autumn is coming at last! Temperatures will drop from tomorrow onwards. We have certainly waited for a while, haven’t we?”

“Yeah… summer’s finally gone,” I smile to no one in particular as I continue peeling the potatoes, my phone wedged between my shoulder and ear.

Every year, autumn waits patiently for summer to leave.
**
6 November: Call
“…To record your message,” the recorded voice says smoothly.


“It’s me… How are things? Let’s meet up some time…call me ok?”
**
7 December: He
I turn the doorknob. At that moment, I notice him.

He is standing at his doorway, leaning against it.

“What is it?”

He puts down his left foot, which was pressing on the doorframe behind him, resting it on his right.

“What is it?”

“He was here.” He turns his head at me.

“Oh.” I release the doorknob.

“Yeah, good night.”

I am alone in the hallway.
**
8 January: Waiting
Laughing at the joke on TV, I steal a quick glance at my phone in its charging unit.

It remains stoic and silent. As ever.
**
9 February: Mirror
“Do you really think this can bring Keiko back? Do you really think she’s happy like a prisoner in your heart? Do you really think you are happy like this, living in the past?

“Is this the kind of life you want? Is this the kind of love you want?”

At that moment, I really don’t know which parts of my words are for Takashi, which parts are for him, and which parts are for myself.
**
10 March: Answer
“Thank you for the meal today. I enjoyed myself a lot,” I bow slightly.

“It’s nothing,” he nods in return.

“Shinji, am I going to see you again?”

“Uh…”
I look straight at him, searching for the answer in his eyes. His eyes dart around, and say it all: doubt, hesitation, and a tinge of fear.

“Aki, give me some time…till June. I will give you my answer then.”
**
11 April: Promise
Aki?

Un.

When I leave, can you promise me something?

Don’t talk about such things.

I am serious. Listen to me.

Ok, ok.

Take care of Shinji, ok?

Huh?

He may not look like it, he may act macho and mature, but deep down he is someone who needs a lot of care. Like a kid, you know. He wants to go to Tokyo after high school. But he doesn’t really know how to take care of himself. He can’t even fry an egg and do the laundry. I can’t be with him, so can you help me out? At least until he can survive by himself. Please?

Ok.

Is that a promise?

Yes, that’s a promise.

Great! One worry off my mind…Aki?

Un.

Don’t you dare fall in love with him.

What?

Haha, I am just kidding. Even if you do, it’s ok, really.

What nonsense.

Aki?

Yes.

It’s ok if you fall in love with him. Really.
**
12 May: Gone
He left today. While I was at work. Without saying goodbye. Just like that.

Without leaving a forwarding address. Even his phone is no longer in use.

As though he is trying to erase all traces of himself.

What about those words, said a month ago?

Can you wait for me?

It’s him, isn’t it? Can you say that you really, really love him?

Stop it!

Aki! I’ll be waiting.

Do they mean nothing now?

**
1 June: Alone
“When I went down to the beach this morning, he is already sitting there,” Keiko’s mother tells me.

“I see.”

I look out of the window. I can’t determine where the ocean begins, and where the sky ends. I can’t determine where the ocean ends and the beach begins. But amidst all that, I can still see the lone figure clearly, a dark speck that somehow doesn’t get swallowed up by his surroundings.

“I should get going. Take care. Goodbye.”

we lost:
a game
our unbeaten run in all competitions
our clean sheet in the champions' league
top spot of the group
control of our final position in the group

we lost because:
sevilla were hungrier than us
we played badly
we didnt press their midfield enough
we gave the ball away 90 percent of the time
we tried to play too many long balls

the whole team is at fault. but i think bendtner was our best player. it's a close fight between senderos and gilberto silva for our worst player. even though hoyte was subbed out under very demoralising circumstances, i think senderos was much worse than him. and something tells me that gilberto doesn't mind leaving in january.

HERO

Hero rocks. i am glad i somehow managed to catch the tv special when it aired on tv a few weeks ago. i wonder why i nv watched the series itself.

even though hero was always going to revolve around takuya kimura, i must say the rest of the cast did a great job too. it just wouldnt be the same without them, both the original cast(abe hiroshi, nene otsuka, fumiyo kohinata etc) as well as the newcomers(ryoko kuninaka, koshiro matsumoto, ayase haruka.) interestingly, koshiro matsumoto is matsu takako's father.

LBH fans might be disappointed, cos as much as they tout his participation, his screentime was really limited.

in terms of content, there is some continuity from the drama special, so it certainly helps if you have watched it.

and like many japanese movies/dramas, it not only entertains, but still has time to drive home a very important message. takuya kimura's impassioned speech towards the end really leaves an impression.

i think i like japanese movies (and dramas) because they go for your heart, rather than for your eyes. or maybe we are just on the same wavelength; a tacit understanding exists.

i should have bought that tag with kuryu kohei's name for myself as well, when i was at fujitv.

late, late show

the lesson today is about making your chances count, about not making your effort go to waste.

what's the point of getting free-kicks if your delivery is poor? that applies to corners as well.
what's the point of taking the ball past 3,4 defenders if you don't know what to do after that or make a mess out of the final ball/shot?
what's the point of making so much noise when you are on the bench, and then when you are given the chance, you can't grab it with both hands?
what's the point of pumping long balls if you can't do it well or if your striker can't get himself onside?

seriously, i think we played badly. credit to wigan for that.

almunia-6
seriously nothing for him to do in this game

clichy-5
totally out of the game for 80 percent of the match. sure, made a few interceptions, but made poor decisions, played poor balls, and generally very disappointing.

sagna-6
relatively ok. combined well with eboue, den walcott to cause problems down the right.

gallas-7
captain's performance with that goal. but din play well defensively with toure.

toure-6
wasnt the usual commanding force in defence with gallas.

diarra-5
true, when he ran through the midfield, he caused some problems, but i think he was more lucky than skilful. terrible in midfield, losing possession, making stray passes, not winning tackles. basically what do you put him there for?

denilson-6
got caught in possession sometimes when he dawdled too long on the ball, but basically distributed the ball decently, giving us some rhythm.

eboue-6
played better than i expected, causing problems with his pace and dribbling, but when you can't get the final ball in, or make the wrong decision, you have done nothing. but he combined well with walcott.

rosicky-7
grew into the game and started running things. some good incisive passes, held the ball well, and got the second goal.

walcott-7
our most dangerous player until he was stretchered off. his control seems to have improved and this makes him more dangerous when he runs at the defence. striking up a decent partnership with adebayor. very mobile.

adebayor-5
sometimes i really have nothing to say about him. he just can't seem to score. and he is always called offside, which is something i cannot understand, and i cannot stand, because when your teammates play the ball and you are offside, it frustrates them, because you are wasting their effort. i thought he was disappointing.

eduardo-6
still looked out of sorts. i really dunno what to expect when he gets the ball.

bendtner-7
came on for walcott, and showed the van persie quality by laying the ball into sagna's path for him to cross for gallas' goal. what has adebayor been doing? led the surge, then slipped the ball into rosicky's path for rosicky to score. glad he passed to rosicky instead of adebayor. made the impact in 7 minutes; adebayor didnt.

i really dunno wads going on at newcastle, but i tink they arent giving their fans any respect, playing like that in the first half. who was the home team?

and bolton has got guts. finally a team that has the guts to play man u.

a boy called h

finally got my hands on senoh kappa's a boy called h, a semi-autobiographical novel about a boy growing up in wartime japan.

engaging, touching, and sometimes funny, it is a very human story. what begins as the story of a non-conformist ultimately becomes an insight into world war two from japan's perspective through the eyes of H: the lies, the propaganda, the dilemma, the destruction, the relief...everything.

in war, everyone suffers.

a good first half, and then we take off sneijder at ht, got hit by two goals on the counter, and never looked like playing in the second half until maybe the last 10 minutes. and the worst thing is that despite the 2-1 loss to belarus, we are still the top seed for euro, so we lost for nothing.

so another group of death beckons. we can get drawn into a group comprising us, germany/spain/portugal, italy/czech and france.

but first, please drop de zeeuw once and for all. and bouma is 75 percent out of the squad. van bronckhorst shouldn't be the captain; neither should he start. and it is best that we play either ooijer or mathijsen, not both. koevermans might have sent us to austria/switzerland with that goal against lux, but i think it's either him or kuijt. things to think about for van basten, but the lack of goals is worrying.

and according to belarus, hleb could be out for 2 weeks. oh thanks. after van persie injured himself for holland, i am always worried when it is international week.

and the unthinkable actually happened. croatia 3 england 2. no england in switzerland and austria. they can blame arsenal for all they want, but the fact is that when all you need is to avoid defeat at home, and you can't even do it, what's the point of talking so much about the possibility of israel throwing the russia game, yet to see them do you a big favour by winning 2-1, and thus put you in control of your own destiny, when all you could do was be outclassed by croatia? croatia were the better team by far. true, they conceded two goals, but it seems that they always concede alot of goals. but they had much more chances to easily kill of england. a dangerous counter-attacking team that can keep possession decently, which was what they did in the last 5 minutes of normal time.

and ferguson, for all his talk about local talents, wants to buy veloso. how ironic is that, especially when he already has carrick and hargreaves.

what a hypocrite.

botchan

read soseki's botchan, said to be one of the most widely-read book by the japanese.

it tells of a young man who leaves tokyo to teach math in the country.

i think it is so popular because it is very straight-forward and also because botchan's character is rather appealing, in that many people probably wish they could be like him: cavalier approach to life, direct and frank, simple. no doubt he gets into a lot of trouble on the way, but at least he lives honestly and decently.

perhaps readers are reminded of their innocence.

anyway, it also reflects the situation in japan at that time( at around the turn of the 20th century): the clash between modernity and tradition, the rise of western thought, as well as the corrosion of traditional japanese values.

japan in the olympics

japan became the 11th team to qualify for the olympics with a 0-0 draw in tokyo against saudi arabia.

a lacklustre 35 minutes was followed by a very good last 10 minutes. and almost total domination of the second half. basically, japan woke up to show that they can play football.

the last 5 minutes was crap, because they tried to waste time, and it almost backfired when saudi was on the attack for the last 1.5 minutes and the first 1 minute 20 seconds or so of the 2 minutes of injury time.

it could so easily have gone all wrong. one saudi goal, and japan would have been out of the olympics. japan should have killed the game with the number of chances they had. it was disappointing to see them stop trying to score as the clock ran down. a draw was enough, but you probably need only 5 seconds to score a goal, so i don't really think time wasting is a good tactic. and moreover, japan was controlling the game and looked more likely to score, so why not?

they started time wasting too early. and when they got that free kick in a good crossing position, rather than continue to waste time, they should have tried to put the ball in. the corner as well. at those moments, it was still too early to waste time. i tink you should only start to run down the clock with 1 minute of normal time remaining. even 2 minutes of play is too much.

but other than this, i must say that japan outclassed saudi. the only problem was of course, the lack of killer instinct and winning mentality, a problem which has plagued every japanese team since god knows when.

basically, mizuno and honda are centre mids, so there was a lack of width in the first half. i was thinking then, if sorimachi had wanted to change things, he could bring off okazaki, who din do anything, push kashiwagi up, and bring on a true winger, or someone with a lot of pace. but in the second half, okazaki started providing the width, and honda and mizuno stayed wide, used their skills to cut into the middle, so everything was ok. but even then, in the 75th minute or so, i thought okazaki should still have been brought off to freshen things up, even though he had improved alot. tactical change. but japan made no substitutions.

hosogai was very impressive. almost everywhere, almost like a 5th midfielder. whenever japan have the ball, he pushes up, so it becomes three at the back. lee is strong, relatively fast, and has good control. okazaki played well in the 2nd half, but i think not well enough to warrant a place in the first eleven. that is why i think if there isn't anyone else, then kashiwagi should play upfront and let either mizuno or honda come into the centre. it's not because kashiwagi cannot play there, but watching the game, i realised why they are all gushing about him. he is one of the youngest players in the team, turning 20 in december, but he is absolutely superb. holds the ball well, plays exquisite balls, creates dangerous chances, distributes the ball well, he even defends well. but the thing is that honda and mizuno are players who can play in midfield, who can pass the ball well as well, so the idea i have is that put one of them in midfield to lessen the work of kashiwagi. get the ball to him so that he can inflict the damage, and of course try to inflict damage themselves. i do think it is a waste to have both honda and mizuno on the wings, although they played very well when they started playing. in the words of the commentators: we can see that all the key players of japan are starting to get into the game. that was the decisive moment of the game.

the man of the match is surely kashiwagi. but i expect mizuno, honda, mizumoto, hosogai, lee to make it into the national team as well.

kekkon dekinai otoko

the man who can't get married.

fastest drama i have ever completed, in around 24 hours. could have been less, if i hadn't gone to the library or watched the urawa-shimizu game.

this hilarious drama revolves around kuwano, played by abe hiroshi, a 40 year-old architect who is single because he doesnt want to get married, although his zero EQ, eccentricity and stubborness probably factor in as well.

bit by bit, the people around kuwano realise that there is some value to him after all, although not without alot of funny things happening in the process.

absolutely enjoyable, even without any pretty female lead. i mean, of the three women who featured most, two of them are in their 30s, and not exactly attractive( his doctor and his business partner). ryoko kuninaka plays his neighbour. she was 26 last year, but looked at least 3 years younger. even so, she doesnt really count as the lead actress.

in addition to all the laughter, they also show alot of nice house designs in the show, as well as delicious-looking food. the steaks kuwano cook look heavenly; watching him cook okonomiyaki makes you feel like going out to find an okonomiyaki place to eat immediately. not to mention the last episode, when he tucks into homemade sushi. they really show alot of food here.

and they also have a cute dog in the show. it DOES act.

if you are going to be a dog, make sure you have a pretty, doting owner like ryoko kuninaka.

sugar and spice

sometimes it is nice to watch a late movie, even if it means taking nr home. but the movie must be right.

i seriously didnt know what sugar and spice would be like. but i must say i am glad i watched it. it is a simple story that leaves a lasting impression, the story of a boy's failed first love. it may sound cheesy, and i don't really think reviews, if any, were favourable, not that i give a damn about those reviews, anyway, but it is refreshing to watch. i must say that it has affected me. i don't really know how to put it in words.

Yuya Yagira's acting was thoroughly impressive, and he is only 17. he captures the essence of a high school student coming of age. The cast was very likeable, with perhaps the exception of noriko's ex. there is also a lot of style factor, with erika sawajiri, saeko and mayuko iwasa.

erika sawajiri is certainly someone to look out for.

Returning home, i was interested to see what people think about sugar and spice. i read a comment that noriko's character was not well-developed, and that the love story rang hollow.

i think this comment missed the whole point. i think this comment arose because the person has a very rigid idea of how things should be done, an idea which is unfortunately not entirely correct. worse, it restricts him and stifles his creativity and imagination.

How developed is 'well-developed'? What would a non-hollow love story be like then?

sometimes you can jumble up the order, leave out things or focus on things. there is no template. the moment a template comes in, you are kissing goodbye to yourself.

scotland

every neutral who watched scotland v italy must have ended up rooting for scotland.

i only watched from perhaps the 35th minute. italy was already 1-0 up.

whichever of the trio, scotland, italy or france, go through doesn't matter to me. of course, one would always prefer more drama, in the form of qualification being decided only on the last day.

but from the second half onwards, only one team was trying to play football- scotland.

when barry ferguson slammed the ball in, it was madness. it was sheer madness. looking at hampden park on a television screen is already enough; i really wonder what it was like there.

then italy brought on chiellini for camoranesi, a defensive player for an attacking player. that tells you their game plan- hang on to a draw, because their last game is against faroe islands, and if you can't beat faroe islands, you are really finished.

scotland pressed on. kenny miller squared the ball for someone to slide it horribly wide.

and then, in either the last minute or so, chiellini clearly barged the defender off. if it wasn't a freekick for the scots, it shouldn't be a freekick at all. but amazingly, the linesman flagged, and the freekick was given to italy. panucci headed it in. and italy were through.

if that isn't robbery, i don't know what is. man u fans, take note.

italy got it lucky, because they won the game when they weren't looking to win it. if it had ended in a draw, at least scotland could still cling on to the small hope that france would lose to ukraine. but they were denied even that hope by that dubious officiating.

if you were a neutral, your heart would really go out to scotland tonight.

when the whistle was blown, the italians celebrated. but perhaps they shouldn't have done it in the manner they did. i mean, yes unfortunate things have happened back home, and at least they can bring some cheer back, but they should show some respect to scotland, and acknowledge that they got away with it. they shouldn't have stayed on the pitch, because that last bit of the game was a farce.

but at the end of the day, scotland can only look to the georgia game: they made things difficult for themselves by screwing up then. and of course, they made things even harder by conceding in the 2nd minute.

perhaps it was better that italy won. better to end it once and for all, rather than harbor false hopes: at least scotland would not be disappointed, should ukraine fail to beat france.

Anyband

Samsung's Anycall Project CF
featuring
anyband's TPL and Promise U
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7vZ4TNMv2Q

anyband comprises of BoA, Jin Bora, Tablo and Xiah JunSu.

i especially like the parts where boa sings 'promise you...', and that slower part in TPL. jin bora looks very cool with that cylinder-carrier thing slung on her back, and also when she plays the keyboard.

the only thing i disagree with samsung on is their sponsorship of chelsea.

kafka

until recently, i have only read kafka's auf der galerie and the metamorphosis. not one of his three novels. of course i have heard alot about him, but i sort of knew that until i finish the castle, the trial or america, i cannot consider myself to know him.

as early as 2002, i have heard of murakami. my chinese teacher told me to read murakami. i never got around to doing it until 2005 or 2006.

i was truly aware of kafka's existence only in 2004.

i only know last year that murakami is also sometimes considered kafka's successor.

to me, it's always only a matter of time before i meet kafka. as if, only then would the journey be complete.

and so i finally met him through The Trial.

Kyoto's Gion

She glides her bicycle to a stop by the railing. Leaning it against the railing, she gets off and approaches the shop, shivering.

“Good evening,” she calls out.

“Good evening,” the elderly shopkeeper says.

“You have sold out?” her disappointment is evident.

“Well, I knew you would come, so I kept one for you,” the old lady says, walking to a corner of her small shop.

“Really? That’s wonderful!” She pulls off her gloves as the old lady returns with a rice cake, with sweet sauce drizzled over it. She proceeds to wrap a piece of seaweed around it before handing it over.

“Thank you, thank you,” she says as she receives it. She bites into it.

“Is it delicious?”

She nods and puts a hand over her mouth, “It is, it is.”

She stares dreamily into the night sky as she continues, “It’s the nicest thing to have on a cold night, something to warm the heart…”

She turns back to the old lady. “By the way, how did you know I was coming?”

The old lady smiles. “Your father told me.”

She does not say a word, but looks away.

Not far away, a little girl of perhaps five sits on a bench, wrapped in her coat, with earmuffs. She nibbles on her piece of rice cake, her legs swinging in a gentle rhythm.

Her father sitting beside her says aloud, “It’s the nicest thing to have on a cold night like this, isn’t it?”

The little girl nods and smiles happily.

She can’t help but smile too.

The elderly lady must have caught her smile. “It’s time for you to forgive him, isn’t it?”

This is written for Kyoto. I can still remember that evening spent in Gion vividly. Wandering around, browsing the shops, smelling incense, eating the rice cake, savouring the raw taste of the noodles and roe, Gion somehow captured my heart in a way I never expected it to. To me, Kyoto is a place full of history. Sometimes I wonder if she prefers to be left alone, instead of constantly having to receive visitors from everywhere. In a place like Kyoto, one cannot help but contemplate and reminisce about the past. Like how Kyoto must have reflected on her old days as the imperial capital. Ultimately, one comes to terms with the past and gets on with life. Like those people playing by the Kamogawa, like the maiko hurrying in Gion, like that elderly shopkeeper gushing about the Hanshin Tigers. Like Kyoto. I can’t help, but be moved by her beauty and elegance.

a quick roundup

if you want to know what is happening, go to the market, go to somewhere where money and people meet. the streets. hear the voices. they give you a rough idea of ground sentiments.

after i watched gamba osaka see off jef united 2-0 yesterday, i dropped by at singapore pools to see if betting on the j-league championship winner is available. i think gamba osaka can push urawa reds all the way, even if there are only 3 games left, and they are 5 points behind. the j-league is a crazy league, with the title often decided only on the last day, and often with at least two teams still in the running. luckily, it isn't available, so i can stick to my policy of abstinence, which seems to work, at least in england and holland.

and urawa reds were crowned asian champions last evening, with a 2-0 win over sepahan and their unique 3-4-3. it is interesting

Horinouchi is really a left-back, while Tulio Tanaka likes to press up, and is an attacking force as well, although he din show much of it last night. but i think japan missed him in the asian cup; nakazawa+ tulio seems very mouthwatering indeed. their formation hinges on suzuki's effectiveness as a sweeper in midfield, as well as his positional play to cover for tulio's forays. yuki abe underlined his versatility by slotting in on the right side of midfield, having played at left-back and centre-back for japan. robson ponte was largely disappointing, although he did conjure up a moment of magic or two to set washington through, who was also disappointing. while he did well as the pivot of the urawa attack, he made selfish decisions, opting to go for goal, rather than pass to teammates in the open. their formation is a little like 4-1-3-2, with the rightback(abe) pushing up into midfield, so it becomes slightly skewed.

i am impressed by tulio's play and attitude. his hairstyle reminds me of a samurai. i wonder if nakazawa can still play at this level in 2010, at 32. otherwise, they have to look for another centre-back to partner tulio. 2010 for many like suzuki, nakazawa, even tulio perhaps, will be the last chance for redemption.

back to market sentiments. how fickle the world is. arsenal are now second favourites behind man united for the epl. there are two kinds of epl pundits: those who gush about arsenal, and those who still think that we are not good enough, despite having outplayed liverpool at anfield. and the market seems to belong to the former. well, i was wondering: where were these people when we sold henry in the summer?

this is hleb's pass for that legitimate goal that was disallowed against reading. wonderful awareness to know that the reading player was coming in on his right to jink to his left and then play a wonderful grounder pass across the width for rosicky. finally could post it; blogger had problems the other day.

you can tell that we have come a long way from the summer debacle over henry, because even carlo ancelotti is talking about our champions' league credentials. champions' league is the only competition he can talk about, because his milan are languishing in serie A.

but when people suddenly talk about foreign imports, under the guise of the waning fortunes of the english national team, you know that they are talking about arsenal. my initial reaction is that they are conspiring against arsenal, because this is probably the only way to stop arsenal quickly. imagine if they can get their legislation in place by next season, we would really be scrambling to assemble a team, depending on the extent of the regulation imposed.

but i think about it, and can't help but feel sorry for gerrard, lampard, joe cole, john terry, rio ferdinand and company. SO, they are not good enough. and by jumping on this protectionistic bandwagon, they are sending out a message to the world: Hey, we are really not good enough.
they seem to be enjoying themselves, pushing the blame onto foreign imports. but they are just laughing at themselves for their own fallacies. and they are giving the wrong idea to their own lads aspiring to play football. how sad is that.

and arsene wenger is right. from 1966 to 1996, did england even get close to winning anything?
but if you ask me to choose between joe cole and robinho, i would choose robinho. robinho will make our attack more complete, but we would still need a colossal defensive midfielder and a good goalkeeper.

this debate is endless, but it sickens me that ferguson can talk so much, as if man united do not have foreign players. why don't he play his chris eagles instead of ronaldo? since he cares so much about english football, why don't he let gerard pique go?

it's a mockery because nobody talks about liverpool because they have got gerrard. nobody talks about chelsea because they have lampard and terry. nobody talks about man u because they have got rooney. how can i dispel the notion that they are attacking the national team to get at arsenal? the national team is being used, and they seem happy about it. they are really the biggest losers, because they are simultaneously being used and criticised.

i am disgusted by this debate. they have got it all wrong. the uk has one of the most open economies in europe, if not the most. why don't their FA take a leaf out of it?

protectionism is never a solution. countries that looked inwards once had suffered. we don't need to look far: china and japan were both once weak because they shut themselves off.

and many man u fans say they were robbed in that game against arsenal. well, if you are proud to be english, you should get your english right: how can you be robbed if the goal was perfectly legitimate? if the linesman had not given the goal, then we can say we were robbed. but when you concede a good goal, how can you be robbed? to be robbed means having a goal disallowed because the officiating was wrong, or conceding from a penalty that isn't a penalty. like how feyenoord scored against ajax from the penalty that shouldn't have been given.

Dasenai Tegami/ 出せない手紙

Dear Rina,

How have you been? It’s been a while, isn’t it? 17 years. Unknowingly, it has been 17 years.

I am back in Tokyo, for the first time in 17 years. It is a little hard to believe, isn’t it? I have been back for three days now. But the Tokyo I have returned to seem so different from the one I left. 17 years abroad is a long time: buildings have changed; people have grown up. I feel lost, I feel as though I don’t know this Tokyo.

I thought I saw you today. In a café on Omotesando. I must be imagining things; how could it be you? Out of 12 million people, how could it possibly be you, whom I have never seen in 17 years, on the street just like that?

But she reminds me of you: the way she holds the cup, the way she stirs the coffee, the faraway look in her eyes, the way she brushes her hand through her hair. It was so you.

I went to our high school, the high school I did not graduate from. I was afraid it would have been torn down already. But it’s still there. Walking through the gate, I felt as though I was transported back to those times. The field, where we had sports lessons; the hall, where we listened to the long-winded principal; the classrooms, where we talked about where to go after school; the music room where you played the piano you love so much; the library, where we tried to do last-minute revision…I saw us in every corner.

Our teacher Mrs. Akita was still there, although she has since aged. She still remembers me. She showed me photographs of our class, including those taken after I left. You didn’t smile a lot in those, not even in the graduating class photo. She tells me a little about our classmates: Murasaki is a doctor, Fujii took over his father’s restaurant in Ginza, Tamashiro has his own business, Masami married a Frenchman and moved to France…But she doesn’t know anything about you. She says you disappeared.

After I left her, I went to your old address. But the house where I often cycled to has been replaced by a convenience store. The whole area looks different. Even the overhead bridge where we used to take shelter from the September rain is gone. The telephone number which I remember by heart is no longer important, isn’t it?

I remember that I left in autumn, without saying goodbye. Naively, we had believed that we would grow old together, never apart. But I had to move to America with my family, although I didn’t want to go. I had wanted to explain, and selfishly, to ask you to wait for me. But you never talked to me again. You avoided me in my last few days in school; your mother would apologetically tell me that you were tired when I called; your mother would again apologetically tell me that you were asleep, even though when I looked up, the light in your room was on. ‘Wait till tomorrow,’ she would say day after day.

I waited for many tomorrows, to no avail. I left, without ever knowing what really happened, without ever really understanding your feelings, without a proper conclusion to our story.

I didn’t dare write to you in New York. I was afraid. I was afraid that I would wait forever for a reply that would never arrive. Countless times, I picked up a pen, only to put it down again, as I remembered the pain of you ignoring me. ‘Wait till tomorrow,’ I would tell myself. Many tomorrows would pass; I never wrote.

To tell the truth, I thought of you often while I was away.

At first, I wondered: Why didn’t you give me a chance to say what I wanted to say? Was that your way of coping? Did you feel that erasing me totally from your life was the only way to eradicate the pain and disappointment I have caused you?

Then, I thought about how you were doing, your university life, if you had a boyfriend, what did you do after graduation, your job, did you marry and start your own family? As each chapter of my life closes, I can’t help but think about you: are you at this stage of your life too? It is like our lives were two parallel tracks, going in the same direction, but never meeting.

Sometimes I think: what would I do, if I were to bump into you again? I really don’t know.

What would you do?

I don’t know if it was really you whom I saw today. We are now twice our age when we parted. Would we recognize each other? Would we even realize it, if we were to sit beside each other on the train?

I am leaving the day after tomorrow. It would be nice to see you again. So that we can say goodbye, the goodbye that was left unsaid 17 years ago. Right?

Yours,
Hiroki

3-1 to the Arsenal

i am terribly disappointed that
- we conceded a late consolation
- we seemed very satisfied that we did enough to go back to the top of the table

because all these shouldn't have happened.

almunia-6
steady, especially during corners, which were reading's main threat. this is the difference between this season and last season, when we conceded far too many from set pieces. the only thing he didn't do well is all those fluffed clearances in the last 10 minutes, which gave reading the chance to play. and they scored.

clichy-6
more like his usual self. great anticipation and tremendous pace to totally shut out convey. but didn't join in the attack as often as i would like.

gallas-6
very comfortable on the ball. controlled the game with toure from behind.

toure-6
see gallas. he shouldn't ahve taken that freekick. he should have let fabregas have a go, or rosicky, because it was close enough for precision. it didn't call for power.

sagna-6
didn't really make mistakes.

flamini-7
played well to break down reading's play. started and finished the first goal.

fabregas-7
did well to distribute the ball, should have gotten an assist with that wonderful throughball to adebayor who somehow hit the post. some good defensive work as well. the yellow card was rather stupid, but i think it might have been in the plan: serve a suspension against wigan at home, rather than miss a game against tougher opposition. anyway i think it's good to give him a bit of a breather. he hasn't been outstanding, although he got some goals.

rosicky-6
best game he played since he came back. enough said.

hleb-6
was roughed out in the first half, but managed to find the space in the second to do some real damage.

eboue-6
offered the most penetration in the first half, but always looked out of place on the right side of the midfield, because of the way we play. could have scored towards the end, if only he dared to shoot. well, if he missed, no one would have blamed him because he is such a poor shooter anyway, and the victory was in the bag.

adebayor-6
if he had scored in the 3rd minute, the game would have been very different. tried to do too much in the first half. should have stayed up and let rosicky and hleb do the running. had a perfectly good goal ruled out for offside. i felt that he interfered too much with our own attack.

walcott, bendtner, diarra-6
din really have time to do much, although diarra showed some great touches, and bendtner made a very good pass.

at the end of the day, we had some luck, although some things went against us, like the post in the 3rd minute, and then adebayor's disallowed goal. that goal was a perfect counter-attack. brilliant cross-field grounder pass from hleb.

we were lucky in that hleb's maddening unselfishness paid off when flamini reached the ball and scored. with the reading defender's boot coming in, the ball could have gone anywhere, and we would be lamenting: why didn't hleb try to score himself.

we were lucky in that fabregas somehow tapped the ball towards adebayor for the second goal, although a penalty could have been given, or the ball could have been tapped to adebayor by the defender, rather than fabregas. but amazingly, adebayor was so composed when he put the ball into the far post. at that moment, i thought he wasn't adebayor. henry-esque.

and we were lucky that the clearance went into the path of hleb on his way to the third goal. some wonderful footwork and goal, although the defender on the line was unlucky. got to it, but couldn't stop it.

gallas and toure totally controlled the game right up till the last 10 minutes. their play up to then was almost perfect, the way defenders should play. i think it was more down to almunia not clearing the ball well, rather than gallas and toure making bad back passes. but in any case, almunia made 3 or more clearances that gave the ball back to reading, which allowed them to attack. that was the most glaring fault in our game. the goal didn't came about because eboue did not head over the bar, as morrison and company discussed, but from much earlier: all these skewed clearances which relinquished our control of the game.

my question is: what would have happened if adebayor stuck to the two centre-backs? reading played very well, very organised, stuck tightly to us, gave us little space. adebayor might have compounded the problem by coming out and killing the space. it's ok if we have two strikers: this could free up some space for the other striker. but hleb and rosicky dun have the instinct to go into the box, so it backfires. if we have van persie, den of course adebayor coming out would be good, because van persie is a better finisher than adebayor and that could free up space for him. the real issue is that in a 4-5-1, with your three other attackers (eboue, hleb and rosicky) not really goal-scorers, the lone striker must stay up.

wenger must address this. or maybe he is waiting for van persie to come back. i suggest dropping eboue for walcott to play as a second striker though. or bendtner.

lost in the calle of Barcelona

"the city is a sorceress. it gets under your skin and steals your soul without you knowing it..."

those were the words used by fermin to describe barcelona.

reading carlos ruiz zafon's the shadow of the wind is like taking a plunge into barcelona; you feel as if you were transported back to the barcelona of the 1940s to 1950s. and every twist in the story is like taking a turn in the never-ending maze of the calle, drawing you deeper and deeper into the dark, poetic labyrinth of lies, intrigue and tragedy.

it is an epic: a story within a story. daniel sees himself in julian carax's story, just as we see ourselves in their stories. a book is a mirror that offers us only what we already carry inside us- in the words of beatriz.

a story is a letter the author writes to himself, to tell himself things that he would be unable to discover otherwise.- julian carax

this book spent 5 years on the spanish bestseller list, making it the second most successful Spanish book ever, after Don Quixote. i am not surprised. it is one of the best of its genre.

and upon discovering that lucia graves had translated this, i felt as though i had met an old friend. on the calle of barcelona of course.

"the only use for military service is that it reveals the number of morons in the population. and that can be discovered in the first two weeks; there's no need for two years.

fill in the blank

writers can choose to write only a paragraph describing a scene. what happens before it, and what happens after it, are up to the reader's imagination.

likewise, a filmmaker can jump from one scene to another, letting you guess what really happened in between.

they will tell you: it's part of the experience, to let you think through things, to decide for yourself what really happened, to let you imagine.

now, imagine: they do this because they can't figure out how to make the connections; they don't know how to write on; they don't know how to film on.

it is the easy way out, and at the same time gives you artistic credence.

perhaps this was the same mental block christian wagner faced when he made stille sehnsucht: a confrontation after the ice hockey match between aida/kristina's adoptive and natural parents transformed into the ending scene of her natural parents on the road home, with what looked like her jersey.

what words were exchanged? were promises made? was the truth revealed?

we can only guess.

but perhaps it is better this way, so that there would be no illusions. it is better for us not to know, so that we don't know what to expect, because the issue the film addresses is simply too grey: can we ever understand the feelings of both sets of parents?

if wagner were to try to give a definite answer, would it be satisfactory?

i am glad he didn't.

this was a great film which examined the complexities of human emotion with the aftermath of the bosnian war as a backdrop, backed by strong performances from the cast. the ending leaves you with a small smile; perhaps this was the best possible outcome for all.

wagner's brilliance lay in the fact that he didn't try to be too clever; he knew what he could and what he couldn't.

8 at the Spanish Cafe

Why are you crying?

보고싶다…

とても

It’s me.

もしもし? 誰ですか？

I thought I should call.

希望你是快乐的

Haven’t seen you in a while. How are you?

もう知りない人になりますか？

你变了

I don’t know you anymore.

なんで？

Sag mir, was ist bloss um uns geschehen?

미안해

Do you only know how to say ‘sorry’?

ごめんね

Ich verstehe nicht ein Wort mehr aus deinem Mund.

He must have come back. He must have come back, isn’t it?

我们算什么?

Vielleicht ist es besser aufzugeben.

你所说的我都听不懂

And I was thinking: Maybe it would have been better if you hadn’t come into my life.

プレゼント

喂，能不能一直这样下去？

Love me after 2a.m.

嘘でもいい

사랑행요

Fuer immer und ewig.

Is that a promise?

約束です

如果说

なに？

我想这秋天你会离开我

Don’t be like this.

それで 君の声、君の笑顔、君の影、君の背中、全部忘れます。

Bevor ich nochmal verliere.

I won’t ever let you go.

負けない

Stay with me tonight.

できません

Wo willst du hin?

终于你还是选择了放手

Now you know: I have never loved you.

そうだろ？

Es tut so weh.

そして　彼女は　去っていった

原来天长地久只属于童话

Say goodbye, while we can still smile.

고마워요

さよなら　かつて好きだった人

I will miss you.
***
Why are you crying?

I miss you

A lot

It's me

Hello? Who is this?

I thought i should call

I hope you are happy

Haven't seen you in a while, how are you?

Have you become someone I don’t know?

You have changed

i don't know you anymore

Why?

Tell me, what’s wrong with us?

I am sorry

Do you only know how to say 'sorry'?

I am sorry

I don’t understand a word from your mouth anymore

He must have come back. He must have come back, isn't it?

What exactly are we?

Perhaps it is better to give up

I don’t understand a single thing you say

And I was thinking: Maybe it would have been better if you hadn’t come into my life.

Present

Hey, can we always be like this?

Love me after 2 a.m.

Even if it’s a lie

I love you.

For always and eternally

Is that a promise?

That’s a promise

If

What is it?

I think you will leave me this autumn

Don't be like this.

So I wish to forget your voice, your smile, your shadow, your back, everything.

Before I lose again

I won't ever let you go

I won’t lose

Stay with me tonight.

I can’t do it

Where are you going?

In the end, you chose to let go

Now you know: I have never loved you.

Is that so?

It hurts so much

So, she left me

I see…Eternity belongs only to fairy tales

Say goodbye, while we still can smile

Thank you.

Goodbye, the one I once loved.

I will miss you.

movies

movies to watch

Stille Sehnsucht (this fri)

Hero (from 22 Nov)

very slim chance of watching:

aishiteru no sain
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvewK1t87zI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjIBxWX8fOE

closed note

die Aufschneider

Wer frueher stirbt ist laenger tot
***

i do think that while on one hand the internet presents a big problem to record companies and film studios, it may actually yield signs of the industry's future. we will know in due course how viable an online music store(Itunes) actually is. but i think film studios have less to worry about, as long as their films are good. i think going to the cinema is actually an experience in itself, an experience that is difficult to replicate. i think given a choice, many viewers would rather spend the money to watch a really good film at the cinema. it is sort of a social activity as well. so i think a crucial factor is the quality of the film itself.

of course if society becomes ever more withdrawn, if home entertainment systems become even more advanced, then perhaps things might change. but until then, i think film studios have less to worry than the record companies.

the bottom line is that as long as your product is good, people will pay for it.

still on GTO,

when you look at the world as it is now, the adult world, it is not difficult to see why the kids cannot trust the adults. and when you are at an age where you straddle both worlds, your confusion is further compounded.

gto is first and foremost a story, a story that also doubles as a social commentary. and 10 years on, i think the situation has only gotten worse.

in a world where we cannot say what's in our hearts, all we need is a little more sincerity, a little more heart. give a little bit more.

joanna zimmer's i believe(give a little bit)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XlPx1jsG6rY

we can sit there and wait for the prince to come on the white horse in shining armour. but nothing will happen. it's because we don't want to do anything, that we end up with nothing, that we end up complaining. but this world has made a mockery of the people who move. those who wait reap the fruits of the labour of those who move. everyone will wait until a fool gives in and moves.

who wants to be a fool?

i think man has gotten too clever for his own good. so much so that he forgot the basics. the basics of what it meant to be human.

Takashi Sorimachi's Poison
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daT5UxmfHZA

I want to believe forever
I want to think, until the end
That my life has meaning

I wake up and begin to smile
Those guys whose souls have been stolen
Do they feel the pain of crying?

In this world where I can’t say what I want to say
Poison
I’ll live my life without lying to myself
Oh oh

In these times we face it head on
In order to be proud
We have to fight

We sat down on the stairs
And talked until dawn
About our endless dreams

As the seasons change so casually
Will we lose sight without even realising it
And get used to being swept away?

In this world where I can’t even dream the smallest of dreams
Poison
I want to always like myself the way I am
Oh oh

Because I want to treasure
My days of freedom
I’ll start walking the path I want to take now

I don’t want to be controlled by dirty lies and words
Poison
I don’t want to turn away from my true feelings

In this world where I can’t say what I want to say
Poison
I’ll live my life without lying to myself
Oh oh

In these times we face it head on
In order to be proud
We have to fight

GTO

I rewatched GTO.

it's one of the best dramas ever.

if you ever feel like shit, if you ever feel as though you are losing yourself, if you ever need inspiration, watch it. it is inspirational, funny, yet touching. it makes you feel like becoming a teacher, makes you feel like going out to do your best, makes you feel like going all out to help someone.

poison is one of the best theme songs ever. such meaningful lyrics. it just suits the drama so well.
takashi sorimachi made onizuka eikichi's role his. i don't really think anyone could have done it better than him. in fact, the acting was really great from everyone.

even though the drama is divided into twelve episodes, with each touching on how onizuka solves a problem/brings a student over to his side, they all link up nicely together and you would want to watch it to the end. the chemistry between the cast was sizzling, and i especially love his gang comprising of nanako, kikuchi, noboru, masaru, kenji, tomoko, chikako, erika, and later on kunio and miyabi.

it is very funny when they basically all ignore him when he was leaving, and also when he felt that he was about to be dumped(in the special).

it is also interesting to see what some stars look like almost a decade ago. who would have guessed that oguri shun, who was the ultra-cool hamazawa in hana yori dango, was the weakling noboru? kubozuke yosuke has since moved on from the geeky genius kikuchi. in the drama special, there was nana katase from death note 2.

kirari was almost too stylish as nanako mizuki. after onizuka, mizuki nanako and murai kunio are my two favourite characters. the way she calls onizuka "onichi" is just too _.

in short, GTO = great drama. i really envy onizuka. his guts, his idealism and all. he brings a little respect, a little honour back to the teaching profession, which is really a shit job. and many teachers who start out with noble ideals get mired in the mud and lose themselves. gto not only addresses that, but probably sums up a big problem today, not just in japan. surprisingly, it didnt come from onizuka, but from uchiyamada, who must be one of the biggest losers ever.

"we worked so hard, we thought we were creating a rich japan, a rich world, but we were mistaken. this japan now has no wealth, it's a soulless world."

ferguson

alex ferguson must have been very, very, very furious. so furious that he lashed out at the referee, at the lack of class in arsenal's goals.

i can perfectly understand his frustration, because he was probably a minute and a half away from victory, but like the same fixture last season, his side conceded in injury time.

but if the referee were biased, he was probably favouring man u more than arsenal. watch it again, please.

and of course man u's goals tonight were better than arsenal's.

but what are you trying to say?

arsenal is the only team that scored in every game in every competition this season. we scored more goals than man u in the carling cup, champions' league and premiership. are you trying to say that you are better in attacking? did you honestly want us to score a goal like the second fabregas goal against slavia?

i don't know what ferguson really wanted when he claimed that we resorted to direct tactics to get back into the game. you mean it wasn't allowed? or was he just jealous that we didn't score a wonderfully worked goal against his team?

ferguson wasn't angry at the referee, wasn't angry at us, wasn't angry at the crowd security. not more than the anger at his team anyway.

he was just saying things because he needed to say something, and he couldn't really say what he really wanted:

he was angry at his team. so angry he could probably have thrown a boot at someone.

6/10

people may say we played well again. but close enough is never good enough. of course we played well. as we did against liverpool. but we shot ourselves in the foot again.

rooney's goal should never have happened. we have been through enough last season to know that the last minute of the first half and injury time are the periods where we should be absolutely focused. and we conceded. that is totally unacceptable. we must learn from it.

ronaldo's goal. last season's game at emirates, evra was similarly played in to play a cross to rooney. and we let him do it again. and we let them score when we were preparing to kill the game. it was just like the game against liverpool, where we gave away the ball cheaply when we should be preparing to kill them off. it's like you are going to sprint, then you stop and tie your shoelaces. ridiculous.

almunia- 5
my worst fears are confirmed: he can also make stupid decisions. the second goal, he should never have rushed out because someone was going to close down evra. i know he is not world class, but lehmann is making a fool out of himself, so we are really in deep shit with regards to the goalkeeping situation.

clichy-6
didn't really get to shut out ronaldo this time round. did create the gallas goal, did made good runs, but he had a very average game.

sagna-6
for the first time this season, made significant errors in defence, looked lost sometimes, but i don't really blame him, because those balls were really tricky. but his reaction to saha's cross was disappointing, but that happened too often tonight. yet, he did well to hook the ball back to fabregas.

toure-6
so so. could have done better, i suppose.

gallas-7
in defence, he was ok. the goals conceded should have been prevented outside the box. but he really showed a hunger for goal, with that first half header, and then the equaliser. finally understanding what the captaincy means.

flamini-6
tireless, did a really good job covering for the defence, but i thought the midfield conceded too much space to man u at some point in the second half.

fabregas-7
helped to distribute the ball to get the play going. did very well to remain composed and not blast the ball over again like at anfield.

hleb-6
main tormentor, very tricky, but crumbled too easily at times under the physical approach of the man u midfield and defence.

eboue-6
slowly got into the game and started displaying flashes of brilliance and pace.

rosicky-6
improved from the last game, but only slowly easing back to form.

adebayor-7
he chased every ball, he somehow kept possession when it seemed a lost cause. but in the first half, he came out too much. let hleb and rosicky come out and get the ball, just go inside so that they can send the ball in.

walcott-6
again, made an impact when he came on, though not as much this time.

gilberto-6
thought he didn't play too well, not really doing his job in midfield.

eduardo-6
could have done alot better with that volley. didn't really do much, seriously. but great ball from him, although adebayor failed to connect.

i thought as a defence, we did well to restrict man u to long range efforts that were never ever going to trouble us as long as lehmann wasn't in goal. but some of the balls they played in, though not connected, were dangerous and tricky, which proves my point that you don't need to have shots on target to be dangerous, to be judged to have good chances. but we largely coped with them, although in the second half, we gave them too much space outside the box, and the two times we lost our focus, we conceded.

in attack, we were simply too cautious in the first half. we could do alot better with our shooting because we managed to set ourselves up in good positions to shoot. and we should have sent in more crosses, to go for the direct approach because i don't think vidic and ferdinand really coped well with the few crosses we put in.

what a shame that we conceded the second goal, because not only did we undo all our hard work, we also had to abandon what wenger must have had in mind when he brought on gilberto and eduardo. we were supposed to play 4-2-3-1. we did, but it wasn't the way wenger would ahve wanted. we went for direct long balls. it would have been interesting to see how we could control the game, dictate the tempo with this formation. instead, we didn't ahve time for it; we just had to get the goal. if we hadn't concede, 10 minutes with a 4-2-3-1 that uses short passes could have enabled us to totally dominate the last stretch and create the chances to win the game. when you concede such a late goal, you don't really have time, much as you would want, to play a patient passing game. you would put men forward and whack long balls up. panicky, but probably the most effective.

anyway, i was really interested in the 4-2-3-1 because i have been thinking, and i think it is the most suitable formation with van persie still injured. and theoretically, we will be able to harness the qualities of flamini and gilberto, while unleashing fabregas's full potential. flamini can go chase down every ball in midfield while gilberto will just sit back and kill the space, be the third central defender, sweep up loose balls. basically, i think flamini can do what fabregas does when he goes deep: keep the play flowing by moving the ball around accurately. so fabregas should push forward and focus on creating chances, playing that final ball. the two wingers should be walcott and hleb, with adebayor as the lone striker. adebayor should try to be less mobile because hleb, walcott and fabregas can all do come deep to get the balls.

i am disappointed that we couldn't win the gam, but we could only blame ourselves.

of course i am relieved that the linesman spotted gallas' goal, but at the end of the day, if you didn't win, you better not be too happy.

当你离开的时候

只能低著头发呆　让回忆渗透脑袋
渐渐变空白

把他当作个意外　但内心还想不开
因为我明白　
其实你都还在

我想起了遇见你的时候 想起你眼神中的温柔
我想起了我们第一次牵手　我闭上眼
想起当时你怀里的颤抖 似乎那么害怕失去我
然而到后来我什么都没有　当你离开的时候

我可以装作已释怀　他对我也算关怀
他看不出来

我知道这样不应该　在他身上找依赖
算不算是种出卖　
因为你一直在

我想起了遇见你的时候 想起你眼神中的温柔
我想起了我们第一次牵手　我闭上眼
想起当时你怀里的颤抖 似乎那么害怕失去我
然而到后来我什么都没有　当你离开的时候

我想起你亲吻我的时候 想起你眼神中的沈默
我想起了我们平静的分手 我闭上眼
想起当时你美丽的承诺 把你整个心都交给我
然而到后来我什么都没有　

越是没有你　越是心痛

我想起了遇见你的时候 想起你眼神中的温柔
我想起了我们第一次牵手　我闭上眼
想起当时你怀里的颤抖 似乎那么害怕失去我
然而到后来我什么都没有　当你离开的时候

haken no hinkaku

i haven't watched japanese dramas in a while. watching haken no hinkaku, a drama about temporary workers, which we will probably become in less than 24 hours' time, really makes me wonder why.

i guess japanese dramas are sometimes a good societal barometer, highlighting current issues, social trends as well as problems. haken no hinkaku is a good example, highlighting the current trend of an ever increasing number of contract workers in japan, and the conflicts between part-timers and full-timers that may arise. At the same time, it also shares some insights on living and working, which may come in useful in future, as some sort of reference.

i certainly enjoyed it very much: the blunt nature of oomae haruko(ryoko shinohara), the bonds between the workers in the marketing division, the spanish cafe which haruko calls home, the endless quarrels between shouji and haruko, the glimpse into office life and nakashima mika's mienai hoshi, the theme song.

but the number one reason to watch it is probably ai katou as mori miyuki(mori-chan, mori-kun). she is like an Autumn/Winter Fashion Show. Way too stylish. now, i know what it feels like to be styled to death again.

if you run away once, you will be running away for the rest of your life.

you just need to walk your own path. don't lie to yourself, take out your courage and look ahead.