carling cup final

the two things i said: the only way to beat chelsea's money is to use youth and the carling cup team has more desire than the senior team.

maybe the second thing was a little harsh. but i think i have been proven right on the first.

we might not have won.

but this is what i think of the game: arsenal were better, but chelsea were always more experienced, and in the end, that experience prevailed. seriously, drogba, shevchenko, robben have so much more experience, it is always going to be dangerous when they go on the counter. it is to be expected. and they certainly live up to it. credit to them.

but arsenal were still better, because they play at a level that belies their age. the first goal was really a beauty. it was always going to take something special to beat cech, and i think the finish was fantastic. until drogba scored, i dun think chelsea really saw the ball? and for a team which comprised 2 17-year olds(traore, walcott), 1 20 year old(diaby), 2 19 year olds(fabregas, denilson, 22 year olds(hoyte, senderos), 1 23-year old(aliadiere), 2 25 year olds(baptista, toure), 1 30 year old(almunia), which is an average of 21.7 mind you, to do that to the league champions, to do that to a team of champions, i think that is fantastic. and i am not just talking about that 20 minutes. throughout the game, even when chelsea looked as though they were going to upping a gear, we were equal to them. and we created more chances, that's for sure.

we were the better team; they took their chances.

but can you fault us? can you fault a team of youngsters for playing very well and losing? of course it is disappointing, you owe it to yourself not to waste all your effort. but we can't change the fact that we lost. we can build on it though.

and that is what we must do.

i feel sorry for john terry. i hope it's nothing that serious. but you have to understand that both terry and diaby had the right to go for the ball. i hope terry is ok. but i am concerned about diaby. i hope it doesnt leave a scar on him. i hope it doesnt make him shirk away in future, for fear of causing another accident.

he owes it to himself not to let this bother him. because he jsut recovered from a horrific tackle himself. a physical injury. i hope he doesnt suffer a mental injury now. the reason why i am worried is because when eboue came on for traore, he went to wenger and said he got a problem. i hope that problem is true, and not fabricated because he was no longer in the mood to play on. because i can perfectly understand the feeling, when you injure someone unintentionally, you just want to get away, be very easy on the next challenge, because you don't want it to happen again. of course on a professional level, it has to take something as serious as what happened to terry of course.

he has to understand that it wasnt his fault at all; nobody wanted it to happen. he has to get on with it. it is about his own life as well.

i have a question though. what if we had won? would we be at peace with ourselves? i mean, it wasnt our fault of course, but it is not nice to win, after being an indirect cause of the endangerment of someone's life.

and what happened between toure and mikel, i don't know. but it certainly marred the game. because the game wasnt like this. not at all.

and i hope traore will become stronger as well. all that talk of him being the weakest link, and robben being brought on specifically to target him, i think it is unfair. the first goal wasnt his fault. senderos didnt move up to play the offside trap. and i thought he did well. he has done well all this while. and maybe wenger shouldnt hve brought him off, because i think it would affect his confidence. i would have stuck to him. but jsut get on with it okay.

i have seen enough of us to know that we are on the right track. i have already seen the midfield. and it is going to be world class. the way you see diaby play, he has a very good touch, and he is strong, he can shrug off lampard so easily. i just hope he doesnt get affected by that incident. and denilson, well people are already raving about him, so he doesnt have the element of surprise anymore. and of course, fabregas.

but i was most impressed by diaby.

for a bunch of predominantly youngsters to match chelsea, i think i have been proven right. in fact, i think we were better than them?

but they won it of course.

next season?

and arsene wenger still hasnt beaten mourinho in maybe 7 games.

this season?

nba

sometimes, i feel that we have lost. or at least we are forced to abandon our game plan. we certainly hadnt come to defend, but we somehow found ourselves pegged back.

imagine your liberty being reduced to the measure of hours and dollars.

what right do you have, to strip us of our dignity?

sad isn't it? we didnt mean to be this superficial. but it is the best we could muster. you call it basic instinct. like an animal, you sneer at us.

but i still won't do it differently from how i do it now.

you don't know me. so you can say what you want. you are entitled to your own opinion, as i am to mine. it's only fair that you slam me back, because that's what i do every single moment i am in hell.

it's not the way i want things to be, but it's the next best alternative. after all, i can't go up to you and slap you right? that would dirty my hand.

if you can't attack, you defend.

L, i believe hana yori dango 2

"you look so mad, so i thought you might want some cake too."

L never fails to do something ridiculously lame.

hana yori dango 2 looks quite good. its showing on 56. i should try catching it some time. too bad they don't have a killer song, as they did in the first series, aka otsuka ai's planetarium. at least not my kind of song.

managed to write down parts of the english lyrics of ayaka's i believe, as used in miki ando's skate america routine.

hidden where no one else can see
a whirlpool in my heart of my anxiety

so many roads to follow
not really sure which one I should take
anyway, I'm being me

for so long, I let others tell me the way
say goodbye to that part of yesterday

I believe myself,cause I know it's what I need
everything begins when I'm believin' in... myself

i said two things. one was said quite a while ago. the other, more recently.

the very first thing, maybe wenger agreed with me. but it doesnt really matter.

tonight is the night to prove me correct.

let style triumph over steel.

there is one kind of player.

a player who can make you think twice about the first name you would put down on your team sheet.

if such a player were to appear...

i would know that player must be in my team, no matter what.

there is another particular kind of player.

a player who can change everything. a player for whom you would change your whole system just to suit that player. you would build your team entirely around the player, even if you have spent the past 6 years shaping your team to its current state.

if such a player were to appear...

half of me would be anxious, fearful even. because i would have to change everything that i had built up from scratch. i am not really prepared for that, even though i know it is possible.

but the other half of me would be eager and interested to see what exactly this player is.

who am i?

back when i was in sec 2, my form teacher edwin heng told us to write down a question each. a question we have always been wanting to ask. when all of us read out our questions, and we discussed abit, we came to that amazing conclusion.

who am i?

that is the ultimate question.

but i think of kundera's identity, and i am amused by jean-marc's views on the different professions, on why he chose to take up medicine.

science brings little benefit at a huge cost. prosecutors spend their whole lives prosecuting people. schoolteachers have to deal with rowdy kids. pharmacists merely sell bottles and boxes.

"the sophisticated, empty chatter of the social sciences"

how true. i may have identified the ultimate question. maybe one day i will find the answer to it. but what happens next?

feels he will never leave the club he loves.

i think i was very touched when i read this line. and you might laugh when i tell you where it came from. fm2007, my sevilla chairman's status.

but seriously, i was very touched. it stirred up emotions in me. i think it is one of the most beautiful line i have ever seen.

can you say this line out loud?

if you can, in your own context, then i am very happy for you. because drifting in that open sea, you have an anchor. even if it doesnt give you the complete picture, you know a little of yourself. in that darkest hour, you still know one thing that you stand for.

actually, when i read that line and reflect upon my own experience, i feel for sure, that along with that love, there is pride.

i always feel that pride is a word much abused. maybe because people don't really understand what it is. not what it means, but what it is. it is a very complicated concept. it entails alot of things, which can be very hard to put down on paper. i think the litmus test is still yourself. you know what is your kind of pride. maybe that is why it is abused; people don't know that it varies from person to person, and they try to impose their idea on others. or worse, they misjudge what their kind of pride is.

maybe pride and love come together. maybe there is even more. maybe they, together with many other concepts, are part of something much bigger. or maybe pride is part of love. maybe we will never know. but i know for sure, pride, love, passion and identity are very much linked. somehow.

and i was marvelling at the beauty of football, how it can evoke such emotions, how it can bring people together. and then, i realise, it is not just football, but a lot of other things. for me, it is football; for you, it might be music and him cooking.

whatever it is, it is something that excites us. it is something that makes the heart pound. and when it pounds, you know you are alive.

and that, i can tell you, is the most wonderful feeling you can ever have.

because there is love, pride, passion, identity, and a zillion other things which i am too lazy(actually i just haven't figured out what they are) to put down.

some people spend a lifetime in the right place.
some people spend a lifetime searching for the right place.
some found it; some never did.
some people spend a lifetime in the wrong place.

whatever free time i have, i am probably spending it on fm07.

which made me wonder. if the gaming companies come up with a super addictive game, what good would it do? after all, people at most only spend once(hint) to enjoy themselves for a prolonged period. and if that game is that fantastic, what if the gamer doesnt buy anything else to play? even if he does, it would still appear that each game can only earn the firm this amount. so, the best form of making money would still be those mmorpg, such as the ubiquitous world of warcraft. u have to pay to keep playing.

is it really like this? someone tell me.

when i am not playing, i am probably reading. reading 3 books at one go(until this morning) is something i haven't done in a while. i finished 1 of them, namely milan kundera's identity, which i guess you can say is ultimately about identity ja. i have heard alot about kundera, but never got around to getting to know him, so i would say it's a good introduction. after all, it was a very short book. i came away with questions...about identity of course. what else? anyway, the thing which struck me most was the concept of the collaborator. someone who serves some form of authority, which isn't really very popular or ethical, without sharing its identity. clearly separating himself from it, such that when judgement is delivered, he can defend himself by claiming there were two sides to him. a mask.

can we really do that?

speaking of masks, i am also reading about venice, which has this carneval, where people just don costumes and masks and basically just have a good time. it is a tradition which dates back to a long time ago, then got lost, but finally revived again. for the better, i think. but anyway, the masks apparently make a good souvenir or something. and they can be very exquisite. travel guides are a good way to pick up info about places. and venice, together with rome, are two intriguing cities, because the former was built on 100 or so islands, while the latter was apparently built on 7 hills.

another italian city which is taking up my attention is florence, the home of niccolo machiavelli. the last book i am reading is niccolo's smile, his biography. i picked it up at random, but at once appreciate the luck, because i think it provides me with a valuable insight not just into machiavelli, but also into medieval politics in europe.

there is one last book waiting in the ranks: frederick the great's biography. the king on whom i did one of my courseworks. in the course of completing it, i never read a single book on him, because i couldn't really find one. there was one, which was sadly, too thick. there was no time back then. i went straight for the net, those shorter stuff.

that is why i have a few regrets about a few things. if given a chance, i would have approached several things differently.

i managed to catch lille against man u, and real against munich. after real went 3-1 up, i stopped flipping and concentrated on the game in france. i knew that somehow lille won't repeat their feat last year. but it was disappointing that they lost, because for a stretch of the second half, i really thought i could be wrong and they would pull it off. i felt that they deserved at least something. lille is the classic david kind of team. the kind of team you would somehow end up rooting for. the everyman team. except of course, when your own team faces them. then there would be no feeling, i suppose. giggs' free kick, i don't wish to comment. it happened, that's all.

and more on your own team. ja, i can't believe we lost. i can't believe we drew blackburn as well. but i am beginning to question our own desire again. our mentality to kill.

where's your heart?

i read something interesting about chocolates and valentines in japan recently. as you probably noe, in japan, 14feb is the day girls give guys chocs, while on 14 march, guys will reciprocate.

the price of the choc doesnt reflect the importance of the person in question. most of the chocs are giri-choco, or obligation chocolates. the feeling, or maybe you can say sincerity, lies in the effort made to either wrap the chocolate, or to find it.

that's why stuff like godiva, which is ex, but readily available, doesn't necessarily mean much.

the reason why i am talking about this is because it is cny, and u may no doubt receive alot of messages with well wishes. the fact remains that one can easily send a greeting to multiple parties at one go.

it's nothing special.

it is almost mechanical.

how much do we really give a damn to the person receiving our mass new year greeting sms?

Bad day in Neusstak

“How’s your day?”

“Terrible.”

“What happened?”

“One of those days when everything that can go wrong goes wrong. Missing the train, botched presentations, etc.”

“So what are you doing now?”

“Having lunch…”

“Where?”

“Mmm, I am at Pietro.”

She bit into her sandwich, and picked up her drink from the pedestal of the statue of Pietro, all the time her cellphone wedged between her ear and shoulder. She finished chewing. “Hello?”

“Uh huh.”

She looked up. There he was, with a bouquet of roses.

Sometimes, everything can go wrong today. But it only means that everything will go right tomorrow.

the antigame

from a tactical perspective, valencia were horrible. 29% possession. passes went stray most of the time. on a day when villa looked out of sorts, what else can you expect? it is the classic example of the anti-game. the kind of game you absolutely don't want, don't expect to play at all. can you possibly imagine, a mere 29% possession? from valencia? i don't think that's football.

but yet, it also embodies the romance of the game. two breaks, two goals. actually, valencia, inspite of the meagre possession, had created the better chances. the number of chances was also equal to barcelona. the albelda miss from angulo's clever backheel, which was really delightful to watch. villa shooting at valdes when he should ahve squared the ball. morientes sending the ball horribly wide after being put through by a clever pass from villa. i just can't figure out how they saw so little of the ball.

but it is really a classic victory which defies all conventional logic. especially that of the importance of possession. if you have the ball, they can't score. well, tell that to barcelona. this statement, i suppose, only applies when it is absolute. meaning you have the ball for every second of the game. because there is no 100%, things can happen, as we have seen in the mestalla.

i am just relieved we held on in the end.

girlfriend from hell

so am i supposed to stare at my phone for 24 hours, every single day until it ends?

don't you think that's ridiculous? but i tink to save ourselves, that's what we have to do.

sometimes, i think you should take up econs, although they say econs is common sense, which probably means u dun have it, cos u dun seem to show any sign of it. i have been using a magnifying glass.

econs will intro u the idea of cba, cost-benefit-analysis.

u will realise that the little benefit added to ur little test by this element of surprise is really too little to justify the huge costs.

why can't u save everyone the trouble and tell us straight?

bus stop in mechantre

“It is raining like mad.”

“It always rains a lot in September.”

“Really?”

“Maybe we just haven’t had time to pause and watch the rain.”

And so, we watched the rain at the bus-stop, till the bus came ten minutes later, right on the dot. When I first went abroad, I couldn’t really get used to the idea that buses don’t necessarily come on time. I think to a certain extent, we have taken the efficiency of our public transport for granted. Coming back was like a rediscovery. I marvel at the way our buses, ferry and trains are always on time.

So much so that it seems a little too mechanical, too efficient. The drivers are humans too, not robots. Have we, in the name of efficiency, thrown too much away?

Yet, having said that, we would still rant against the bus which came a few seconds late.

Sunset in Alkshavaar

“Watching the sunset in Venprek is one of the most romantic things to do, especially to watch from Alkshavaar (Old Harbour), because the sunset from Alkshavaar is forever immortalized in the painting le Letztige (the Last) by Nichelo Czisny, who is also known as ze moda Jena de Venprek, the Moody Genius of Venprek.


This townhouse has been renamed Czisny Huis, after its most famous tenant. It is now a museum dedicated to Czisny. Czisny lived in a room here for almost his entire adult life. When he wasn’t drinking, he was painting. This was his very last work. He painted it from his room, which faced the sea.

The painting is very simple, yet elegant and beautiful at the same time. A single ship sailing back towards Venprek, with the sunset as the backdrop. It single-handedly captures the essence of Venprek. Historically, Venprek has always been solitary and independent, surrounded by big, and sometimes aggressive neighbours. The ship sailing back symbolizes the pride and longing for Venprek. It was also possibly the main motivation for his painting. He wanted to paint his last painting for the city he loved so much.

They found him dead the day after he painted le Letztige, sitting on a chair, looking out at the sea. He had been ill.”

new year in futuro

“I won’t be home tonight. There’s work to do. Yeah. I get it. Bye.”

Last hour of the year, and I am in my office in Futuro. My office overlooks the Futuroplaza, where they are already preparing for the arrival of the new year.

11:57. I peel myself away from the laptop and went to the window, sipping coffee from the Styrofoam cup. The coffee has turned cold.

I can’t really hear the crowd, behind this glass. But I can read off the gigantic screen at the plaza. 5…4…3… I mouth my own countdown.

2…1…Happy New Year!!!!!!

Those words flashed on the screen, as the fireworks are set off, and everyone hugs everyone.

And so, it is a brand new year.

Cafe in Matisse

“The other day, I met up with my best friend in Matisse. Matisse is the best place to chill. It is a pedestrian area. Yes, the entire district. There are cafes everywhere. University students like to come over to do their work and relax; their university is just in the next district. Historically, this place has always been bustling, because this was where the artisans and artists were based. They would sell their craft here. Even today, there are a lot of shops around selling traditional stuff like woodwork. And there are artists around to paint your portrait. Not to mention those buskers. It’s a lively scene. This is really the artistic soul of Venprek. Tourists like to come here to lap it up as well, and they contribute to the flavour. Every first Sunday of the month, there’s a fair at the Marktpaz, the Market Place. You can always get a good bargain there.

Back to my friend, yeah, we met up at one of those cafes, had coffee, people-watched and talked over old times. Just like in the past, when we were university students. How time has flown. Now, we are working adults in society, leading our own, separate busy lives. Isn’t it amazing how two people can be in the same city, and yet have not seen each other for half a year?

But in Venprek, we have this saying: Two people drifting apart will only meet on the other side of the Earth.”

timeless bakery in botinche

“A piping hot bun is one of the best ways to warm your heart in the cold. I have been baking them here for the past fifty years or so. At this very same spot. Fifty years, my shop has stood at this very spot in Botinche. I have seen people come and go. That high school round the corner, a few of their teachers, they were such little kids back then. I watched them grow up to become responsible adults of society. They were so small then, that time when they came to buy buns after school. Now, they still come, but they are so much bigger. And their students come to. And their parents too, when they were teenagers themselves. Now, mostly the mothers would come and buy for the whole family. It’s like a cycle. The cycle of life. That’s one of the beauty of setting up a shop. You see everything, you see the world revolve. Day to night, kids to adults, the passing of seasons. Time just passes. Everything changes rapidly, except this old bakery.

I am old.”

west

“I have lived in Comte all my life. It’s in the north. She lives in Debure, in the west, on the other side of the river. I have been there a lot. When we were together, I used to see her home a lot. In fact, that was the reason how I came to step into Debure for the first time in my life. It was all foreign to me. And I was surprised, because it’s still Venprek, after all. But it really is very different. Sometimes, I do wonder.

What is life like in the West?

stad rouchoda

“I have been in Venprek for a few months now. They are football-mad here. You are either a rotego, or a grooneweiz. It was just my luck that Royale were playing Venpreker at home last weekend. My friend knew that I love football, and decided that I simply had to watch the biggest game in town, so he got tickets to it from the black market. That was how I got to the Stad Rouchoda, or as the rotego call it affectionately, Le Konigin, the Queen.

The rotego got off to a good start, their first attack a sweeping move finished off by a header that hit the crossbar. That got the crowd going, but the visitors got a goal from their first attack, barely five minutes into the game. That really silenced the crowd for a while. They went two-nil up in the closing stage of the first half. My friend was jubilant, for he was a grooneweiz; but he was really the minority. The second half saw Venpreker get two more goals. Four goals up by the 70th minute. Disappointed fans were leaving the stadium by then. There was this girl just beside us. The red and gold scarf wrapped around her neck told me that she was a rotego. She stood throughout the game. She was expressionless for a very long time. When the game ended, she just stood there for a while, staring at the field.

She was crying within.”

must have love

sg wannabe and brown eyed girls' must have love
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyQV008enPA

kimura kaela's music magic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRQu7JovxMo

maybe the answer to my question as to what happens to gilberto next is in the 3-1 win over bolton.

play him in defence. senderos is suspect. while he can get headers, his reading of the game can be improved, and his headers can certainly go further. gilberto reads the game well, and he has put in quite a number of last ditch tackles, even when playin in midfield, so i suppose he can play deeper.

though this arrangement will pose anotehr question: what of william gallas?

but a jinx will be broken one day. 2 penalty misses is very appalling indeed. but i am glad we pulled through. ljungberg just threw his career at arsenal a lifeline by doing what he used to do very well- score goals. it was a well-taken goal.

and i think it's true that adebayor plays better without henry, although they seem to be on such good terms( read: their celebration dance).

maybe it's good that ajax might get knocked out of europe after that 3-0 defeat. focus everything on the home front. i think we can overhaul psv. and the best chance to do it would be during the two weeks they play arsenal. and if we haven't play them by then, that game against them at philips would be the next chance.

venpreker harz

“Even if Venprekers can agree on everything, there is one thing that divides them: football. Here in Venprek, you are either a grooneweiz, or a rotego. A green-white, or a red-gold. A Venpreker or a Royale. There are two football teams in Venprek, Venpreker and Royale Venprek, the former the team of the working class, the latter, the team of the rich.

The homeground of Venpreker, the Venpreker Harz, the Venpreker Heart, is located here in Bommelje. It is a massive stadium. Intimidating. You wouldn’t want to be here on matchdays. Especially those games with Royale Venprek. But then again, you would want to be, because the atmosphere is just so fantastic, so electrifying. Everywhere, it would be green and white, the colours of Venpreker. Everywhere, there would be people. You would think the whole city came over to Bommelje. At least half the city anyway. And when Royale comes to town, nobody would miss it for anything in the world.

Venprekers will laugh if you say football is bigger than religion. Football IS their religion. Venpreker Harz is sometimes referred to as Ze Het Kathedraal. The hell cathedral.”

drinking in Riverafran

“Venprekers love to drink. Happy or sad, there always seems to be a reason to drink. In fact, they say there’s a drink for every occasion. In the Riverafran, there are many small drinking places called tavernas, where locals like to drink. Tourists come to, just to soak up the atmosphere. In these traditional places, they usually only stock up on local beverages. If Venpreken drinks don’t go down well with you, you should try the more modern pubs, where they have a wider selection.

This taverna here is called ‘Theodora’. It is one of my favourites. It has been around for like fifty years. The owner, Jaak Senereens used to sit here by the harbour and drink, while waiting for his love to come back. She never did. They say she married well, and had forgotten all about their promise. Old Jaak still believes that she will come back someday, and opened this place for her.

Unrequited love, failed marriages, breakups. People who experience these come here to drown their sorrow and speak to Jaak. He’s seen a lot. They feel better after that. Is it the alcohol, the company, or is it the knowledge that there is someone worse off than you?”

meditation

“People in Venprek do sports a lot, but especially so in Vanille. Vanille is this quiet suburb to the north, with lots of green, as well as various facilities for sports. Even more than in other places. You can do a lot of stuff here. Jogging, swimming.

Personally, I like football. We play on weekends on this field. It’s a good way to de-stress, to rejuvenate yourself. Sometimes, work gets so bad, I needed to break out, I needed to do something, to feel the adrenaline, to feel my heart pound. If I am lucky, I am able to get off earlier or something. Then, I will come here alone.

You, the ball, the grass, the sky.

It’s a very powerful meditation.”

vanille-linze linie

“Have you ever taken a train at ten on a weekday morning? Say on the Vanille-Linze Line. The feeling is very surreal. There are only a few other commuters here and there. You don’t know where they are going, why they are on the train at such a time, but there is one similarity you all share. You are all outside, while the rest of the world is working, or schooling. Maybe you should be there as well, in your usual routine. But you aren’t. Doesn’t it feel weird? At that point in time, do you question your existence?”

welcome back, clarence

flamini was offside when he got the ball from adebayor, before squaring it for the own goal. there was such a case against arsenal before: if i remember correctly, it was the champs league final against barcelona.

i also remember my stand very clearly at that time. whoever that guy was, he might have been offside, but when you are only marginally offside, and are a part of such a flowing movement, i think we should give it to you, that your team had the idea to unlock the opposition. so in a way, i think wigan should just accept it. as i had accepted barcelona's goal. give them the credit for the idea.

but the moment we make this concession, what about throughballs to strikers just offside?

where do we draw the line? this applies not just to offside decisions, but to life itself. it is always a hard decision to make. so sometimes, let's take it easy on refs and decision makers. although i still can't condone stupid decisions.

anyway i had a look at the heskey penalty claim. i don't know. i think he fell too easily. for such a big guy.

what henry did...oh well, i think i would have done the same if i were him. but i wouldnt do it when it was only 1-1. i would do it when it was 2-1. i hate time wasting in this sort of manner. taking the ball to the corner and trying to run the time down is more acceptable because you are on the field, you are wasting your own possession. you are taking a risk because the opponents can get the ball from you. and score. as we have seen in westham-fulham. but wasting time in goalkicks and freekicks is so cowardly,because at most you get a yellow, but you still get the ball.

there are some rules in football, which are a mockery of what football is about. like the retaliation issue. (gilberto's case). then there is this. keepers have the incentive to waste time, because the max they get is a yellow. and what are yellows to them? nothing, because how often does a keeper get a yellow anyway? keepers are fouled; they seldom foul.

and time wasting in this manner is very irritating when you are chasing a game.

of course you might say, all forms of time wasting is bad.

but really, holding the ball at the flag and passing the ball around safely are really the lesser of the evils.

and i watched the replay of holland and russia. quite a bit of positives, though the defence was suspect a few times.

de jong is staking a valid claim for himself in central midfield, but the lack of a viable candidate for rightback should see him move back, especially since we have so many midfielders.

seedorf was quite impressive. i think he is a little different from before. but when snejider came in, his influence diminished.

i think sneijder made a lot of impact. there was a very clever pass from him. he got the ball in a rather tight position, but saw the space in front, and flicked the ball quickly there to find someone. and there were some nice combination moves with vdv as well.

we need a captain, another right-back.

3 points. 3 points, my friend. 11 to 3. who says it's impossible? psv has just a slender 3 points lead. one victory for us, one loss for them. let's do it in eindhoven.

your game at eleven

i know it isn't your fault. but it wasn't mine either.

it might be just x to you. but do you realise it's 14x to me?

you might have a problem, but so do i.

it's not that i am heartless or what.

but if i pity you, who will pity me?

just freaking do it, okay?

on a completely different note, most people do not realise.

but it's about you.

it's your game.

i was listening to mika's helpless rain on youtube when precious suddenly came on over the radio. i immediately stopped and listened to precious.

precious, glamorous sky and endless story.

i think they are the kind of songs which can make the world stand still.

at least my world.

nantonaku.

cold in venprek

“I like Venprek a lot. The place is beautiful, the people are nice, very friendly.”

He paused and thought a bit.

“Just that maybe the winter is too cold. The autumn is cold, the spring is cold. And summer can get very windy… and even though the people are friendly and sincere, you feel as though everyone has a personal space, a shell to withdraw into. Their own world. You are like a part of it, yet not a part of it. You can never enter that world. And when you realize that, you feel alone.”

“When you are alone, you feel the cold more easily. But then again, sometimes, you want to be alone. Let the chill numb you.”

The doorbell rang.

“Who are you?”

“Who are you?”

“What are you doing here?”

“Why shouldn’t I be?”

The guy outside was dressed smartly, carrying a paper bag. There was wine, and some flowers. The guy inside was in some old T-shirt, and looked as though he had just woken up.

“What happened?”

A young woman appeared at the door.

“I was planning to surprise you, and this guy opened the door instead.”

“Well, he isn’t any guy. He’s my brother.”

“Your brother?”

“Yeah. Why don’t you go home and rest now? I will talk to you again.”

He left unwillingly.

“When did you come?”

“This morning. Have been sleeping till he woke me up. Boyfriend?”

“No. Just some guy. Why did you suddenly run over? Problems at school?”

“It’s the term break. And I need to get away for a while. Need a fresh air.”

“And you come over huh.”

“Well, you did say I could. Anytime. And you aren’t around much anyway, always flying around.”

“Okay okay. Eaten?”

“No. I was sleeping.”

“I’ll fix something.”
“Don’t bother. You don’t have anything in your fridge.”

“Is it?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, let me change out and we will go somewhere.”

“Sure.”
*

“How’s things in school? Okay?”

“I will promote, I guess.”

“Have you talked to Dad and Mum?”

“Once a week, on the phone. Nothing much ever happens there anyway.”

“How are they?”

“Okay.”

“How’s Corinne?”

“I don’t know.”

“She’s your girlfriend.”

“Not anymore.”

“Since when?”

“Three, four months ago?”

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“There wasn’t a chance. And it was nothing to boast about.”

“Three, four months. That’s how long we haven’t met eh?”

“Half a year I think. Where are we going? I haven’t been here for a while. What’s nice?”

“There’s a fish place around. You can eat your fish.”

“Then what about you?”
“What about me?”

“You don’t like fish.”

“Oh well…”

“Go somewhere else. I won’t die without fish for a day.”

“Okay, let’s go all the way to the market. We’ll eat whatever we want from the stalls there.”

“Sure.”

“It’s like twenty minutes from here. Can you take it?”

“Why not?”

“Well, who was the one who refused to walk on, and I had to carry him on my back?”

“That was so long ago. I was like seven?”

“Yeah, twelve years ago?”

“Around there.”

“We are getting old.”

“You, not me.”

“You aren’t getting any younger.”

“Maybe.”

“We should meet up more, since we are both in the same city.”

“Yeah, two lonely siblings all alone in a big city.”

“Did I say I was lonely?”

“It’s written all over your face.”

“Maybe I really am. Venprek can be very big at times. I feel so lost sometimes.”

“It’s because we came from the country. We are here to pursue our dreams. Our dreams are like the stars, and Venprek is the night sky. It just swallows us up.”

“That’s a literary way to put it.”

“If there’s someone around, maybe things will be easier.”

“When there isn’t, you can always look for your sister right?”

“Haha, hasn’t it always been the case?”

“What really happened between you and her?”

“Seriously I don’t know.”

we are still some way off from the ideal.

fenevour ik nez

“This is Fenevour.”

“Here?”

“Yeah. This square.”

“Is ‘Fenevour’ a name of someone important?”

“Well, it means ‘forever’.”

“’Forever’? Wow, that’s so…cool. ‘Forever Square’. How did this name come about?”

“You see that house over there?”

“Uh huh.”

“That’s Letizia Huis. That’s where it all began.”

“Tell me more.”

“There was this Colonel’s daughter, Letizia Francke, who was in love with a baker’s son. Her father, Colonel Francke was a key man of the King. She was to marry Prince Alexander. This marriage was important to her father, so he was naturally angry that she should have a relationship with a mere commoner. It was even scandalous at that time. Back then, the boundary of Venprek was only up till the Sentje. Over here was a vast plain, with this solitary church, run by Sister Jimena. It was a safe house for people of all kinds. Francke sent her daughter here, to be kept away from her lover until her marriage to the Prince. At that time, smallpox hit the city and her lover was a victim of it. News got to her of his death from it. She begged Sister Jimena to let her out, to see him one last time. Sister Jimena relented. Just as Letizia was about to leave via a backdoor, her father arrived. Angered that his orders were about to be defied, a heated argument ensued. Finally, he warned her against stepping out of the church. His words were, ‘Step out, and you shall join him forever.’ To which, she replied, ‘Forever is now.’ He shot her. It was a great tragedy at that time. The church changed its name to Letizia Huis, Letizia House, in memory of Letizia. When Venprek expanded westwards much later, the authorities ceded to Sister Ariel’s request, to have a square here in memory of that tragedy. Forever. If you notice, the church looks out of place when compared to the other buildings, because they were from a much later era. And the side facing this square is actually the back of the building. Follow me.”

They stopped in front of the back of the house. There, on the ground was a plaque.

“Fenevour ik nez. Forever is now. That’s why we have this saying ‘fenevour ik nez’, when we talk about last chances, about being pushed into a corner with nowhere to go but to try for it. And this place is often used as a reference point. Like if you ask people where is Domtorren, they might tell you ‘west de fenevour’. West of Forever,” he paused. “So, this is the story of Forever.”

“Isn’t it amazing, how people in the past can sacrifice their lives for love?”

“But was it really love? What is love, really?”

“Do you believe in love?”

“I don’t know.”

the nature of information

information is king.

but with the crown comes responsibility.

it is a delicate balancing act.

we might be eager to let people know we know.

but sometimes, things done even with the most innocent of intent,

can have such damaging and far-reaching consequences.

you don't have to know i know,

or someone might get hurt.

i have to be responsible for that someone.

and it could be me as well.

that's why it's a game of cards.

don't show your hand.

never underestimate the potential of information.

he gathered his players before the game.

"your task, is to attack and defend. yours as well. and you and you and you. all of you.

just go in and express yourself."
****

techniek en taktiek

2012

it would appear so, that the world would end on 23 december 2012, if you would believe the mayans.

eschatology. die letzen dinge.

human, all too human.

attack and defence

when defending, kill the space and pick up free men.

when attacking, go into space and pick out free men.

i prefer to defend high up. yet i prefer to take on a defence that defends high up. how contradictory. can you see the irony?

but on further analysis, for the sake of possession, i think taking on a defence that defends deep isn't tt bad after all.

a little of everything

best games i ever played:

age of kings: conquerors

medieval total war

age of mythology

games i would like to play:

medieval total war 2

fm 2007

given the pacifist that i am, one might be surprised by the prevalence of so-called war games in the list. but then, the fighting aspect of these games is usually of least interest to me. i am more interested in the make-up of the civilisations/factions. i like analysing the strengths and weaknesses, the potential combinations etc. and i like the planning and management of the provinces. how everything ties in together in the grand scheme of things. in fact, for medieval, i let the com auto calculate the battle outcome. of course this is partly due to the lagginess of my com, but i am seriously not that interested in sitting through the battle, maybe once or twice, but too many just bog down my game. i just want to focus on building and upgrading.

i like aom because it introduced several "revolutionary" concepts, like gods and their associated bonuses, which can change the game, and usually not in the form of divine intervention like some meteor shower, although this god power is available. but things like son of osiris, new kingdom rule can make things very interesting. a little unconventional, i think.

i like aok because of the historical setting maybe.

i always have this feeling i live in the past.

anyway my fave civ for aok is the saracens. a very underrated civilisation. a very general civilisation. good in a lot of things, but excel in none, except camels. dun u tink the idea of camels is so romantic? and the mamelukes. i have something for them.

but the saracens are seriously good. very balanced. it's a good civ to have in any team, not really because of its team bonus, which is seriously quite sucky, but because it's that kind of civ that excels in a support role. like the midfielder who keeps the ball moving.

everyone needs a saracen.

triangle

the triangle is possibly the most important shape on the field.

in the ideal case, there should be a third man running.

but when there isn't, you yourself can be that third man by moving to close up the triangle.

so simple.

"it's simple mathematics, pure mathematics." -barry hulshoff, ajacied 1966-1977

the rush

thursday was the first time in so long that i really pushed myself for one last burst. the downslope no doubt helped; in fact, i had factored that in, when preparing for that final dash.

and it felt great. the adrenaline.

the past year in hell, i have never really ran like this before, because i never found the motivation.

even on my kind of field, this was a bit lacking, because i have sort of changed my style of play, relative to sec sch days. and i am still a little bewildered by the huge shift, at least i thought it was huge.

now, i focus more on thinking, creating and utilising space. let the ball do the work. so there is less focus on running. in fact, i always feel that i din run enough, even though i am always tired out at the end of it.

in any case, why the change on thursday?

because everything that i do in hell, is all for the sunday. when you step into the church and redeem yourself.

in the last 30 seconds of stoppage time, when he breaks free from the defence, when your team needs you most, can you give that last burst and stop him?

you laughed when i said football is like painting on the field.

i guess you didn't really believe me.

am i really missing you?

dtm

i had the most horrible of dreams last night.

i woke up in the dead of night, relieved to realise it was only a dream.

i still shudder at it though.

long vacation

pressed against the one
a harder road to tow

lookin at what i've got to gain
wonderin which way i should go

when it comes to chance i've come upon
pickin up all the pieces
i'll keep movin on

and if it seems it won't get better
jus keep on tryin wait and see

seems it won't get better
we'll be together jus you and me

we're destined for that golden day
a long vacation

we're destined for a brighter way
the long vacation

bear in mind
you'll find some inner light
in this dark of night you'll find peace
keepin the faith will be right on track
don't go lookin back in the past

formation



movement

actually, in this diagram, there is a mistake. but i am too lazy to go correct it. the player who spread the ball to the left back is the same player who got the return from the left back. 1-2. this is how you beat a player smartly. pass and move and he is beaten.

a tale of two cities

i am disappointed that we drew 1-1 with boro. i know that boro are a team in form, but seriously, all these don't matter. because it's about us. against any team, it must be a win. if we play, we are the best. so it's all about us playing. and how can you accept it if you aren't playing? that's why i can't accept that we didnt win. it must always be a win. nothing less.

but i am even more disappointed that i wasn't there.

valencia's 3-1 win brought us back to winning ways. seriously the defeat at betis was too disappointing. i am still waiting for flores to start with vicente, villa, morientes and joaquin, although angulo has put in decent performances. but the little bit i have watched of him tells me that he is not in the class of vicente and joaquin and villa.

the sweetest win has to be the klassieker. ajax 4 feyenoord 1 at the Arena. davids coming back might help to stabilise the team, but i still believe in youth, in ajax's youth. and it's great to have sneijder scoring goals again. 3 in fact. and psv losing to alkmaar is very important. 11 pts to 5 pts.

do you know why ajax-feyenoord is the biggest game in holland?

it's because it reflects the intense rivalry between two cities based on such different ideals. amsterdam, built on artistry, rotterdam, on industry. they say rotterdam earns, while amsterdam spends. it is about pride, about identity, about history.

8-1 on aggregate to us.

then midweek, there are the internationals.

holland 4 russia 1
england 0 spain 1
germany 3 switzerland 1

good news all around.

come back hungrier.

age

how would you feel if you were, say gilberto or henry?

on, or approaching the wrong side of 30, playing such a big role at the team, but at the same time, looking at, and grooming so many talented youngsters, a few of them, who would, in a mere few years' time, replace you.

when that time comes, what would you do?

would you stay and accept a reduced role, or will you leave, or will you stop playing entirely?

i would like them to be like bergkamp, end their career at the emirates.

maybe it is easier for a forward, because they would have more chances to come into the game, so in a way, they would, or could still play regularly.

it is harder for midfielders, unless gilberto can keep his place all the way, like roy keane.

but when you look at diaby and denilson and fabregas, it is always going to be a close fight.

i have always been a staunch proponent of youth. but when i saw gilberto made that super pass to walcott in the carling cup 2nd leg, i can't help but wonder about his future.

and adebayor should try to take on defenders less, because his dribbling still leaves much to be desired. in any case, he has quite an eye for passes. there was once when he got the ball as the target man, and played a wonderful ball all the way into space for walcott.

i have seen abit of denilson which leaves me quite impressed. i am sure there will be more of him to come. you don't become the captain of your nation's U-19 team for nothing. and i am glad we have him, diaby the captain of the french U-19 team, and of course fabregas, the rising force in the spanish midfield.

can you imagine that fabregas is your age?

what has he done? what have you done?

he is spraying those beautiful balls, you are shovelling all those ugly shit.

unbeaten at home

you have to admit, arsenal, especially the carling cup team has got something special in them, some guts. of course i would prefer total domination from start to finish, but the tenacity shown has been impressive, especially since most of the players are still young. there is certainly alot of hunger and desire.

we have to thank sheffield united for that, after all, it was one of them who stirred us with his words. we just had to set things right.

i am quite impressed by adebayor's goal. it was a good pull away to create the amount of space he needed to score.

but i guess the most important thing is still this: we have yet to lose at emirates.

preserving this record should be the priority of this season.