Before the End of the World

Before the end of the world

We don’t have much time
The world is ending.
We face a new World,
One of Chaos
Which we will enter.
In your hurry,
Have you lost yourself
In the darkness?
In your haste,
Have you closed your eyes,
And embraced the Dark,
Simply as it is?
For you, my friend
I fear,
That your reason’s lost;
At you even the shadows shall leer:
Their way isn’t the only way.
And that I know for sure.
So, open your eyes,
I pray you will,
Before the end of the world.

i wrote my reflections for year 2005 already. but before i blogged, something happened. At first it pissed me off. But thinking through it, and talking to wj about it, i think it is actually depressing and worrying. and so this is dedicated to you.

2006 approaches. It has been a year. I was looking through old stuff, there was this list of songs that I said I would take with me into 2005. I thought I would make another one for 2006.

1. 再一次拥有 gong shi jia
It is like the sequel of ai chen’s 爱是如此不容易. Slow, sad, wintry feeling.
“能不能再听一次你说爱我”

2. Hana orange range
I think this song absolutely rocks. The lyrics are very meaningful, the PV is very nice and it is the nicest Orange Range song. I didn’t realize that it was actually the theme song of the movie Be With You. It is very catchy too. I love the way they rap. And the “Motto, motto, motto” (bigger, bigger and bigger) part.
“why am I here, why are you here, why could I find you, it was fate that I meet you”
“your joy, your pain, your everything go on, bloom in full, bigger, bigger, and bigger.”

3.Missing You Fly to the Sky
The more I listen to this song, the more I come to like it. There is this tinge of longing in it. The MV was very nice, it was set in some European city; I have yet to find out which is it.
“Please listen to my heart just once; every day, every night I am missing you”

4. Goodbye Fly to the Sky
This is the song which really got me to notice FTTS. I thought they sang it very well. Their vocals blended nicely, and the lyrics were very sad. So was the MV, which I liked a lot. It just feels so heart-wrenching.
“Don't talk, just leave me a smile and go.”
“Goodbye…………”

5. I was born to love you Queen
If there were no Pride, I wouldn’t have known about this song. I think the guitarist is very good. It is very energetic and whenever I hear it, I thought of the drama, thought of Haru skating furiously, and I know somehow, I can’t lose out. So, in a way it psyches me up.
“Born to love you, born to love you, every single day, of my life”

6.一个人生活 lin fan
I know it is a very old song. From 2000 or 2001 I think. It is a song from my past. It was only recently that I finally got its mp3, so now I can listen to it anytime I want. She has very powerful vocals and the song sort of just echoes in your heart. The emptiness,
loneliness and all.
“行人道没有行人走过”

7. Sora ni Utaeba 175R
I first caught their performance on TV in Japan. Then back in Singapore, I watched kouhaku, and was immediately hooked. If you really look at the lyrics, it is very meaningful. It is about friendship.
“In those days we stood there without a word, gazing this way”

8. Long Road W-inds
This song became quite catchy in the end. It was quite ordinary at first, as in it was nice but not that world-class. Anyway I like their dance and the rap part a lot. I kind of like the lyrics too.
“In actual fact, I was searching for myself.”
“There is nothing more to lose”

9.Story Ai
It is one of the few songs that stick to me from the first time. It is very hard to explain why it is so. It is the kind of song that somehow makes you reflect.
“That’s why I will never ever give up.”

10. Poison Sorimachi Takashi
Theme song of GTO. I think this song serves as a beacon, to remind us to keep believing, especially when we start to lose ourselves in the chaos of this world. The lyrics is something I really hold dear, because of the simple message.
“Always, I want to keep believing...Until the very end, I want to keep thinking... that there has to be some meaning to my life.”

11. Forever Sorimachi Takashi
Theme song of Beach Boys. Like Poison, this song is quite old. They are recently rediscovered. There is just this beach feeling, being with your friends. And I sort of remember the drama, even though it was from so long ago.
“Ah…Forever your love(forever your friend)”

12. Symphonie Silbermond
This song stuck to me. I think it is very stylish. There is this tinge of melancholy within it. Hearing it just sort of lead me to imagine myself at their concert, and hearing them sing. I felt that the lyrics were elegantly written.
“Because if we stand here in the rain, having nothing more to give, perhaps it is better for us to give up.”

13. Take My Heart Band ohne Namen
It is half English, half German. I admit it is very pop, but who cares. It just sticks to you, the sadness and all, Band ohne Namen strumming away. But I guess what stood out must be the German lyrics.
“Where did we come from, and where are we headed? How much more must I learn, to understand you, how much further must I go, to be beside you?”

14. All Standard is You glay
Saw them on Music Station. I fell in love with this song immediately. But it was this early that I got its mp3. When Teru sang all the anata parts, it was so cool, the way he held the mike. I just feel that this song is very cool, with its own tinge of melancholy. I think the best part must be the change of pace.
“There isn't a day that I don't wish for your happiness”

15. Ai no Tameni ueto aya
There is this optimism burning within this song, against all odds, trying to make the relationship work. The saxophone(I think) is very cool, playing behind, contributing to the liveliness of the song.
“It’s just for the sake of love.”

16. 是你变了吗 光良
You have to listen to the lyrics. It is hauntingly sad.
“多想听你说服自己并没有变”

17. Tentai Kansoku Bump of Chicken
It is the only song from last year’s list, I realized. So, it withstood the ravages of time and my own emotions. Having watched the PV, I think I understand this song even better. It’s about a promise, between friends. Maybe, based on the drama, between two friends who are closer than that.
“and at 2 in the morning like before, I run to the railroad crossingshall we begin, star gazing... even if you don't come after two minutes”

18. Tsuki no Shizuku Rui(Shibasaki Kou)
I didn’t realize Rui was Shibasaki Kou. Anyway this song is also haunting in terms of its melody. The lyrics was quite poetic.
“The waning moon sings of the love that continues eternally”

19. Half Light Athlete
I think this song is very cool and the way it is sung, its like very slick that kind. It is quite a different kind of song, I thought.
“So when I see you next, we’ll make the most of it, get the sun to start moving again”

20. I For You Luna Sea
Very old song again. I like the ‘live’ feel of this song. It is melancholic rock, somewhat like Symphonie. I like the last part when they go “I for you…WOOOOOAH…” and then the guitar comes in. FANTASTIC. Then the chorus again.
“From the bottom of my heart, I love you.”

from orange days

sae: it was the only love i had. i held it in my right hand, like this, close to my chest.
kai: hey, why don't you open your left hand like this? am i there?
sae: don't you find it embarrassing to say such cheesy things?
kai: you bet it is

only because of that? that you mean too much to me?
only because of that? that you just felt guilty?
only because of that? that you don't see me as anything more?

it is only so, because you mean too much to me.

eigentlich bin ich sehr muede. ich habe gedacht, dass ich dir sehr viel bedeute. leider ist es nicht wahr. ich fuehle, als ob ich genutzt werde. du kommst zu mir, nur wenn du einsam bist. wenn du nicht einsam bist, vergisst du ueber mich. du brauchst mich, nur wenn du einsam bist. ich finde das ecklig, eigentlich. weiss nicht warum. wenn du allein am bus, wenn du allein bist, suchst du nach mir. ich kann das nicht akzeptieren. soll ich froehlich sein, dass du am mindesten an mich denkst? laecherlich. unmoeglich. was bin ich?

Dear God,

I have lost the faith. I stopped believing.

Why is it that we like to go all out for things we don't have, yet fail to cherish, neglect the things which we already have? Are we just dumb, or plain greedy?

Unconditional is a word that has ceased to exist. Sorry, i don't believe in it anymore. Don't say i am calculating. We aren't a charity here, please. If you tell me you don't think about what others can do for you, i think you are either a very good liar or a shameless hypocrite.

Why is it that we do so much and have nothing to show for, but some people don't do a single thing and have everything? Maybe we should all sit and wait.

Maybe the key lies here: It means more to us than them. We need it more than them. I think it is the greatest tragedy. What a shame. We lose only because it means more to us? Where is the logic? But that is how it is.

I want to say that the only people who should matter to us are those who will stop their worlds for us. But doubts crept in when i considered my own situation. Apparently i will be the only one who believes in that.

So why don't we just stop believing. Live for ourselves. Don't care about others. After all, they don't care, do they? Why do we need to stop our worlds for them? If they stop theirs for us, good for us, they are fools.

So, don't make any effort. But what if it means alot to us? Then you have to learn to let go of everything. So that things won't matter at all to you. That is the way. Only you yourself matter.

How are you going to save me?

something is very wrong.

Group C is the Group of Death. And we are drawn in it. With Argentina, Serbia and Ivory Coast.

In the second round, we will face a group D team: Mexico, Iran, Angola or Portugal.

In the quarter finals, we will face a Group A or Group B team: Germany, Costa Rica, Poland, Ecuador, England, Paraguay, Trinidad and Tobago or Sweden.

From the Semis, it will be a team from E,F,G or H. Italy, Ghana, USA, Czech, Brazil, Croatia, Australia, Japan, France, Switzerland, South Korea, Togo, Spain, Ukraine, Saudi, Tunisia.

Only in the Final will we have a chance to meet a Group C team again.

davinana called me when i was having coffee with my parents and asked me: eh you like van arh?

Hello, in case you don't know, i have a natural aversion to people thinking i like/love/ have a crush on them. there are a few reasons why.

1) the oh-he's-like-mud syndrome
i think it takes a certain degree of bhb-ness on the girl's part to think that way. but of course they wuld be thinking u r the bhb one for daring to lust after them like a toad. whether or not they are like swan is another matter. but the key thing is: i dun like to be seen as a toad.

2) the avoid-him-like-mad syndrome
usually a branchoff from teh first one. but can occur on its own. basically what happens is that you lose a friend.

3) the invitation for trouble and slander
imagine all her frens toking abt you, especially if they think you aren't worthy. even though we like to say, dun care abt wad others say, talking is one thing, doing it is another. the last thing you need is everyone thinking you are a toad lusting after a swan.

unfortunately, it is often very difficult to convince ppl not on ur side that you aren't a toad and she isnt exactly a swan.

no offence to van though. i am just scared of people thinking i like them.

once bitten, twice shy.

like higaki, i am someone who's lost faith.

by the way, yesterday i learnt how to live. went meidi-ya at liang court. its a jap supermarket thing. all the stuff there are very nice. they really noe how to package their stuff. and i got the sapporo 05-06 winter story!!!(it's a beer btw). i like the concept! but i still think the earlier versions were nicer. and we bot sake. yay! and the noodles' packaging are so cool! den we went robertson quay, to this place called bon gout, its a bookshop/restaurant. dennis is working there and he told me abt it. there was THIS LITTLE GIRL, shes about 5. SHES VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY CUTE. she was with her father. SHE WAS VERY VERY VERY VERY CUTE. and she looked at me!!!!!!!!!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
ok SHE WAS VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY CUTE. and i realise the area is very nice. and clarke quay is oso a nice area.

you have the ball, your teammate makes a run. what do you see?

if you see the space he left, i tink you are one step ahead.

so now i am bored. 8th is over. what i have been waitin for. so where do we go from here?
everything is supposed to be decided soon.

wat's boku no kimochi is damn nice. i just dl their Music Station performace, their pv and their audio.

and dennis is lending me orange days tmr! anotehr drama to watch! hes watching kiken na aneki!!! haiz...

i am quite screwed up you see...

aoi: why is it that you never ask what illness i am suffering from?
haruki: i am not a doctor, i wun be able to help cure it. i also wun be able to fully understand your pain. that is why i ask myself, what can i do for you? i decided that i want to spend every tomorrow with you. it will be such a dazzling tomorrow, that you will need to close ur eyes.

the worst thing about loving someone is realising that she has never loved you at all

Higaki: i have waited for her for 4 years...i have my treshold..

i seriously think Higaki rocks.

Higaki to Aoi: don't tell me you have forgotten me completely.

but he might be making the mistake of tryin to go for the simpler option.

but who are we to criticise?

“All that we fought for, all that we believed in. Everything will finally be decided shortly,” Tokiwa thought.

“The first period kicks off here!”

“Aoki with a deep cross…Shiozawa is there! Wide.”

“Terakawa picks up the return pass from Nagai, tries the shot…keeper has it covered there.”

“Ishizuka floats the free kick in…Mizuzawa heads it out…Abe puts it back in…scramble here. Loose ball…Katou! Wide! How did he miss?”

“Nagai lays it back for Yokoi. Yokoi runs inside of Tamashiro. He chooses to pass. Terakawa turns with the ball and shoots! Wide! That would have been some goal.”

“Neither side can’t seem to get the goal…”

“Takahashi…gave the ball away. Here comes Tokiwa. Tokiwa releases Nagai on the left. Oka with a superb overlapping run! Miura is caught in no-man’s land. Oka with the cross…Nishizawa has to head it over his own bar!”

“Corner to be taken by Oka. Swung in to the far post…missed everyone!”

“Shiozawa, neat 1-2 with Katou…Shiozawa with a powerful drive…palmed away by Aoyama. Katou pounces on the ball. He can’t get a good touch! Mizuzawa manages to clear it.”

“Akiyama picks up the loose ball, gets past Aoki, swirling cross in…Evades everyone…Oka is there! Over the bar!”

“He did not connect well…he just managed to reach it there…”

“Katou flicks the ball over Yokoi, Katou swings…oh misses the ball completely. Yokoi takes it back. All the way to Yoshida. Gave the ball away. It’s Yamaguchi. Cut out by Tokiwa.”

“Nagai with the volley! Over the bar!”

“Tokiwa plays a wonderful ball between Nishizawa and Abe! Terakawa squeezes through…he tumbles in the box! No penalty! He looks absolutely disgusted with the decision.”

“Ishizuka goes by Yokoi…Tokiwa is there to check his run. Tokiwa flicks it to Yoshida. Yoshida switches flank…nice play there. Oka pushes it past Tamashiro. Tamashiro managed to hold him off there.”

“Nagai throws the ball into the box. Terakawa flicks it backwards to the far post. Akiyama…he gets a touch! Off the line by Abe! Terakawa is claiming it has crossed the line!”

“Corner sent in by Aoki! Headed out by Takeda. Ishizuka is there unmarked…Poor touch. One more step. Tokiwa goes in…”

Tokiwa made a last-ditch lunge for the ball. At that moment, Ishizuka swung and connected. Tokiwa craned his neck to see where the ball went. When he saw the net bulged, he collapsed again.

“Goal!”

“I think the keeper got a touch to it, but it wasn’t quite enough.”

Ishizuka sank to his knees. He could not believe that it went in. Tokiwa lay beside him, controlling his tears. He was close. He almost reached the ball. Almost. But it was not going to be the magical season he had hoped for.

“It was a great match. But there must be a winner and Kunimi wins the title again.”

In Kyoto, Hirayama was watching the match on TV. “Idiot. How did it go in? What were the gods of football doing? Idiot. Tokiwa, why didn’t you stop him? Thank you. I have never felt so touched before. I have never seen another team which fought as hard. Thank you for letting me see that. You are worthy, Tokiwa, you are worthy.”

“Takuro!”

“Sister…”

“Sister finally understood what football means to you. I am proud of you. I am sure Father and Mother would be too…and Grandmother.”

“You are not weak, are you?” Kubo’s words again.

“Yes.” Tokiwa got up with some help from Yokoi.

“I get it,” he thought.

“Tokiwa is limping slightly there.”

“Yokoi to Tokiwa. Tokiwa knocks it back to him. He has a lot of space! Takes the ball. Sprays it down the right. Yoshida takes it around Tani! Akiyama breaks out. Clever backheel! Nishizawa was wrong-footed! Terakawa turns Abe inside out! Against the bar!”

“Tokiwa heads it straight to Oka. Oka has space. Oka plays it behind Tamashiro. Nagai is there! Nagai with the cross! Terakawa again! Straight at the keeper! Nishizawa clears it!”

“Terakawa ought to kick himself. He should have added to his tally by now.”

“Tokiwa plays it back to Takeda. Takeda with a long ball. Terakawa holds off Abe, plays it to space. Nagai has run in! Last ditch tackle from Miura!”

“Tokiwa is taking us out of the game. He can’t use his speed in this condition but his quick passes to his teammates set them free while we all concentrate on him,” Ishizuka gazed at Tokiwa.

Tokiwa met his glance. “It takes trust in your teammates to do this. The faith in them that they can do it.”

“Yokoi sets Yoshida free. Yoshida puts it behind Tani. He gets it back himself!”

“Watch Yokoi!” Ishizuka barked.
“It is now!” Tokiwa thought. “Bear with the pain!”

“Get back, Tani! Get back!”

“Akiyama runs out…Oh he plays it square! It’s Tokiwa! Tokiwa runs into the box…slots it beyond Kashiwaji’s arms! Goal!”

“What’s this? A late challenge by Ishizuka on Tokiwa!”

“But the goal will stand. It’s a clumsy challenge. Ishizuka is penalized for it. But Tokiwa has pulled another goal back. 15 minutes to go.”

“Tokiwa seems to be ok. He hasn’t really been running much so far. That was a rare burst of speed.”

“Yes…but he sure is using his brains. That is why they rate him so highly.”

“Substitution for Kunimi. Tani is coming off for Aoki.”

“What the hell are you doing? I told you to get back!”

“I can’t do everything! You pushed Yamaguchi up. It is too much on us!” Tani threw the bottle a teammate offered him away.

“Hang in there. The game is there to be won,” Tokiwa said quietly.

“Pressure! Don’t give anyone of them space at all!” Yamashita shouted.

“Yokoi, under pressure by Yamaguchi. Plays it back to Mizuzawa. Katou chases. Katou has been quiet in this half. Oh! Mizuzawa slips! Katou is there. Katou takes on Takeda, inches ahead, but he flicks it back for Shiozawa! Muscled out by Tokiwa! Yokoi gets the loose ball. Yamaguchi pounces on him. Gives away the free kick.”

“Stray pass by Yokoi. Ishizuka with the ball. Ishizuka to Katou. Katou back to Ishizuka. Ishizuka to Takahashi. Floored by Tokiwa! Play on!”

“Tokiwa with a quick ball down the right. Aoki holds Akiyama back. Foul.”

“Morikawa, Tokiwa is playing like a man possessed.”

“Yes…very impressive…”

“Ishizuka wins it in midfield. He is starting to reassert himself again.”

“I think they got carried away with marking out Tokiwa, if you ask me.”
“Ishizuka with a brilliant ball to Shiozawa…Shiozawa gets ahead of Tokieda…Oh! Just wide of the post! Aoyama was totally stranded.”

“If that had gone in, it would be the nail in the coffin for Akiba.”

“Ishizuka tries from long range! Blocked by Yokoi. Tokiwa picks up the loose ball…Goes right between Takahashi and Yamaguchi! He plays it to Terakawa. Knocks it straight to Nagai. Nagai takes it past Miura! Drives it back to Terakawa. Abe slides in. A bit of a scramble in the box. Hits someone. Comes out. And Kunimi keep their lead.”

“Ishizuka with a long drive! Just over the bar!”

“Tokiwa with the corner. Off the line by Yamaguchi!”

“Oh…Nagai should have scored there!”

“The board says 3 minutes of injury time!”

“Tokiwa, Terakawa, back to Tokiwa. Tokiwa lays it off for Yokoi. Yokoi goes for a shot! Charged down by Yamaguchi. Ishizuka runs with it. Beautiful ball to Aoki. Aoki takes it past Yoshida easily. Aoki sends in a cross…Tamashiro! Straight at Aoyama. Can’t hold on to it. Takeda puts it out for a corner!”

“Akiba has to watch their back. Tamashiro was totally unmarked as he ran in.”

“Ishizuka floats the ball in…Headed out by Tokieda! Yamaguchi…Charged down by Tokiwa. Tokiwa puts it beyond Yamaguchi. Shrugs off Takahashi. Veers away, OH! Lovely through ball to the right! Terakawa gets to it, but he’s all alone. He is holding off Nishizawa. Tries to take it around Nishizawa. Nishizawa kicks the ball away. Nishizawa chases after it. Corner kick. He couldn’t stop the ball from going out.”

“Last chance for Akiba. Even Aoyama is up there.”

Tokiwa placed the ball on the line. “Be with me.”

“Cross sent in…oh headed out by Yamaguchi! Miskick by Aoki! Falls to Tokiwa. Tokiwa is just outside the right side of the box. Aoki stands in front of him. Tokiwa skips to his left…”

“What? Too fast!” Aoki thought.

“Now,” Tokiwa thought.

“Goal!”

“Oh my god! What a goal. He struck it with the outstep of his right foot! Totally caught Kashiwaji by surprise.”

“Kashiwaji was out of position. He was anticipating the cross.”

“Tokiwa was too agile. What a quick movement. He pushed the ball to his right and struck immediately. Aoki had no chance at all, he was totally caught wrong-footed.”

“Yes, it is that magic, that style.” Senzaki smiled.

“We go into injury time. What a hell of a match here.”

“I thought we played well. Don’t give up.” Kubo said in the dressing room.

“Three goals. Coach, how do we come back?” Yoshida asked.

“It can be done. They are putting five in the midfield. We need to get the goals. I am making some changes. We will go to 3-4-3. Ihara, you take a rest. Akiyama will take over. Play up front. I want Akiyama and Nagai to spread. Pull their defence apart. Oka and Yoshida tuck in a little, give Tokiwa and Yokoi support in the middle. We have no choice but to give our all. We must keep fighting! Give everything!”

“I have nothing more to give,” Tokiwa shook his head, exhausted.

“You are not weak, are you?” Kubo asked quietly.

Tokiwa looked up at him.

“It’s almost time to go. Fight for the one you love.” Kubo strode out.

He thought, “It is up to you, Tokiwa. You are the key. Think on the pitch. Exploit them. Unlock them. That is what you must do.”

The players walked out onto the pitch again. Tokiwa scanned the crowd, spotting the Akiba flags immediately.

“Takahara Kei, I have the faith that you won’t turn your back on me. Be with me.” He closed his eyes and pounded his fist on his heart. “Heart.”

In the stands, Kei shouted, “Taku! Don’t you dare lose it again!”

Miki stole an awkward glance at Kei. Hiroko clasped her hands in prayer.

Senzaki said quietly, “Tokiwa Takuro, show me what you are made of.”

“Welcome back. Morikawa, I wonder what Kubo told his players in the dressing room.”

“I would want to see how they react to the score-line. I certainly hope it won’t be over.”

“Technique is nothing without awareness, without intelligence. You know what made Cryuff so great? He was the thinker on the field. He saw things quicker than his opponents. Tokiwa Takuro, I have seen enough of you to know that you can be the thinker. Think. Be that thinker.” Kubo’s words from so long ago resonated in Tokiwa’s mind.

Yamaguchi smiled and patted Tokiwa on the back.

“That’s it. Yamaguchi is the better center-back among him and Abe. If they put him in midfield, Terakawa should be able to take on Abe and win. If Nagai and Akiyama can do their job, we can have a lot of space. That’s it. I know what to do.”

“Let’s win,” was his final thought as the referee blew his whistle.

“We are off!”

“Takeda just managed to nick the ball from Katou.”

“Tamashiro down the right. Beats Oka. Shiozawa was out-muscled by Takeda and Mizuzawa. They are playing three behind. Ihara has been taken off for an attacker Akiyama.”

“Here comes Akiba with their first foray. Yokoi. Tokiwa takes it back faced to goal, flicks it around Ishizuka, plays it immediately. Terakawa is in space! Terakawa heads it beyond Kashiwaji’s flailing arms…It’s in! Akiba has pulled one back.”

“OH! Brilliant ball by Tokiwa. He saw the space behind the defence and plays it immediately. Magical stuff.”

“That’s it. We need to play the ball quicker. Even before we get the ball, we must know what we are going to do with it.” Tokiwa thought.

“Ishizuka with the pass. Cut out by Tokiwa. Tokiwa makes a surging run. Takes it past Yamaguchi. Plays it between Miura and Abe. Oka with a fantastic overlapping run! Oka is there…OH! Just wide of the post!”

“Good stuff from Akiba. Clever play from Nagai, he lured Miura out.”

“Clever flick from Tokiwa. Yoshida takes control, plays it forward to Akiyama. Akiyama gets to the byline, sends a cross in…Terakawa wins the aerial challenge with Abe! But it was just over.”

“Tani! Drop back, drop back!” Yamashita was shouting from the bench.

“Tokiwa is thinking ahead of us,” Ishizuka thought.

‘Yokoi with a quick one touch pass to Tokiwa. Tokiwa, nice piece of footwork there. Shakes off Uehara. Releases it quickly. This time, Miura just manages to get there first before Nagai.”

“Tokiwa controls the ball, options to the left and right. Chooses to play down the center! Terakawa controls the ball from Tokiwa. He gets ahead of Abe, holds off Abe, shoots! Palmed away by the keeper. Yamaguchi clears it out for a throw!”

“Terakawa is giving Abe a torrid time.”

“Get back, Tani, get back!”

“Thrown into the box by Yoshida. Terakawa gets to the end of it! Too weak! Keeper’s ball.”

“Tokiwa releases Yoshida. Yoshida is free. He has Akiyama ahead of him for support. Oh! Hacked down from the back by Tani. Surely a yellow card! And it is a yellow card for Tani. A reckless challenge.”

“But he had to track back. If Nishizawa goes out, it will be hard for Abe and Miura in the center. Clearly, Akiba are stretching them thin, with Nagai and Oka on the left and Yoshida and Akiyama on the right.”

“Takahashi. Get ready,” Yamashita ordered. “Take over from Uehara. Take Tokiwa out of the game.”

“And we have a substitution for Kunimi. Number 6 Uehara is coming off for Number 14 Takahashi.”

“I am quite surprised that Uehara is coming off. I thought Tani would be off.”

“Yes, Tani looks exhausted.”

“Tokiwa gets the ball from his defence again. Oh! Takahashi is sending a strong signal.”

“Very strong challenge. The referee is talking to him.”

“Mizuzawa to Tokiwa. Tokiwa turns with the ball. OH! That must have hurt. Both Yamaguchi and Takahashi went in on him. It’s a free kick.”

“Tokiwa is holding his ankle. Seems to be in pain.”

“Idiot. He wasn’t going for the ball at all. Idiot!” Kei shook furiously.

“Grandmother, please watch over Taku,” Hiroko murmured.

“Tokiwa picks up the loose ball. Takahashi slides in. Tokiwa lands awkwardly. The referee wastes no time in brandishing a yellow card!”

“Wicked foul, Endo, wicked foul.”

“Tokiwa is holding his ankle. It’s his right ankle. Can he go on?”

Kubo was worried. “I know what they are trying to do. I want to take you out of the game. But you know I need you in there.”

“Can you go on?” the referee asked.

“Welcome to Tokyo National Stadium! The season is coming to a finale at last! We have Kunimi High School facing Kyoto Akiba High!”

“Let me tell you a bit about Kunimi. They are 5 times champions and boast Sota Hirayama and Yoshito Okubo among their illustrious alumni. They have virtually strolled through all the matches so far. And in their team, we are looking at a few future Japan representatives! Look out for Yamaguchi Motohiro, they are already comparing him to Miyamoto Tsuneyasu! And of course, steeped in Kunimi’s tradition, their powerful center-forward Shiozawa Hiroshi is another player to watch. Their left winger, Tani Satoshi is rated the best of his generation. And of course, their captain, the midfield dynamo Ishizuka Hideto.”

“Yes…Morikawa…but Akiba has regained their form. They have been playing well in their 2 games, the quarter-final and the semi-final. The Captain Tokiwa Takuro seems to have put his poor game against Kochi behind him. And of course, they welcome back Terakawa Tetsuyoshi, who was suspended for the previous game.”

“So the teams are lining up. The crowd is raring to go.”

“Let’s take a look at the starting lineup. Akiba will start with a 4-4-2 formation; Aoyama in goal, Tokieda on the left side of defence, Takeda and Mizuzawa in the center, Ihara on the right. On the left flank is Oka, on the right Yoshida. In the center, Tokiwa partners Yokoi. Nagai will partner Terakawa upfront. Kashiwaji will start in goal for Kunimi. They are playing a flat four behind, with Nishizawa on the left, Abe and Yamaguchi in the center, Miura on the right. Playing in center midfield are Ishizuka and Uehara. On the left is Tani and on the right is Tamashiro. Katou will play behind Shiozawa in attack.”

“Hello again, Terakawa,” Yamaguchi shook Terakawa’s hand. “Let me see how much you have improved.”

“I will, Yamaguchi.”

“It will be a pleasure to play against you, Tokiwa Takuro. I heard them talk about you. The new Hidetoshi Nakata. The new Shinji Ono. The new Shunsuke Nakamura. I won’t lose to you, Tokiwa Takuro,” Ishizuka said.

“Please give me your guidance then.”

In the stands, Senzaki was watching. “You are finally in Tokyo, Tokiwa Takuro.”

“We are not too late, the game hasn’t begun,” Kei was all flustered as she guided Miki and Hiroko to Akiba’s supporters’ section.

“I think Taku would be very happy if he knows you are here,” Kei told Hiroko.

“And here we go, the Final of the All-Japan High School Championship, it is Kunimi against Akiba!”

“Tokiwa, still Tokiwa, lays off to Yokoi, Yokoi with the cross…over the bar by Terakawa! And Akiba gets the first shot of the evening.”

“It’s Ishizuka…Ishizuka…knocked off the ball by Tokiwa. Tokiwa, away with the ball, plays it all the way to the left flank for Oka, beautiful ball…Oka, tries to take it round Miura, cross…Oh! Cut out by Yamaguchi!”

“Shiozawa nods it down for Kuraki. Kuraki can’t get past Takeda. Takeda with the pass to Tokiwa, Tokiwa plays another beautiful ball to the right, Yoshida runs with it…OH! Floored by Nishizawa there. First free kick of the evening. Floated in by Tokiwa…flick on by Terakawa…Yokoi tries his luck! Just wide!”

“The Kunimi coach is shouting out instructions. He is worried. For the first time this tournament, Kunimi actually look like they are going to go behind.”

“Short ball by the keeper. Abe takes it, spreads to the left. Nishizawa now. Down the flank…Tani! Tani plays it to the center…intercepted by Tokiwa….Tokiwa is playing like a man possessed. Tokiwa spreads it to his left. Oka…Oka takes it past Miura…Miura with a late challenge. Free kick again. Oka plays it short…Nagai turns…Yamaguchi kicks the ball away…Ishizuka takes control of it. Robbed by Tokiwa again! Tokiwa with the shot…Just over the bar!”

“Akiba are playing very well at the moment. Yamashita of Kunimi is barking out some instructions. Kashiwaji with the long ball…Ishizuka nods it down. It’s Yamaguchi…Yamaguchi plays it straight down the right…Tamashiro just keeps it in play! Tamshiro…Taken it past Tokieda…Cross! Goal! It’s Shiozawa with the first goal of the evening. And Akiba is silenced.”

“Yes…Kunimi scored on their first real chance. It’s a blow to Akiba who have clearly been on top.”

“So the game restarts.”

“Yokoi…muscled out by Uehara, who lays it back for Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi plays it one touch to Ishizuka. Ishizuka hits it back to Uehara. Uehara is free. He threads a through ball…Katou can’t get to it. It’s Aoyama’s.”

“They changed their formation. They have pushed Yamaguchi to midfield,” Tokiwa thought. “It’s harder for us to pass now.”

“3 on 2 in the middle of the park. Let’s see how Tokiwa and Yokoi cope with it,” Kubo thought aloud.

“Katou…Katou lays it back for Ishizuka…Ishizuka! Blocked by the sliding Tokiwa. Ball falls to Oka! Oka runs with it. Herded out of play by Tamashiro. Great defensive work by Tamashiro.”

“Tokiwa again…Pass is intercepted by Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi plays it to Ishizuka. Ishizuka floats the ball. Brilliant curling ball there. Shiozawa is through! Oh! He shot straight at Aoyama. Ball is loose…Katou! Takeda took the ball away. But the referee blew his whistle!”

“It’s a penalty!”

“Ref! I took the ball!” Takeda was arguing.

Katou knelt on the field. He had not expected a penalty.

“But you took him along the way. Penalty.”

“Idiot,” Takeda murmured under his breath.

“It’s a yellow card for Takeda. I think it’s what he said to the referee.”

“It’s hard to tell if it was a foul. I thought Takeda got the ball.”

“But it’s a penalty, all the same. Shiozawa will take it.”

“2-0. Sent Aoyama the wrong way. Good penalty.”

“10 minutes to go till the break.”

“Tokiwa again, he shrugs off the challenge of Ishizuka…Sent to the ground by Yamaguchi. Play on, waves the referee. Here they come again. Tani on the left. Goes round Ihara…Cross! Headed away by Mizuzawa.”

“Yokoi with the ball now. Tokiwa. Brilliant through ball down the right for Yoshida. Yoshida cuts it back for Yokoi. Yokoi puts it into the box. Terakawa! Tipped away by the keeper!”

“Corner kick. Floated in by Tokiwa. Nagai! Against the post!”

“Ishizuka takes it outside the box. Plays it all the way to Shiozawa. Shiozawa puts it right in between Mizuzawa and Takeda. He is free! Oh! The duo went in on him and stopped him there. Takeda plays it to Yokoi. Robbed again by Uehara. Uehara cuts it back for Tani. They are trying to control the tempo. Tani to Ishizuka. Ishizuka with the floating ball again…Katou runs out to the flank. He gets there first, ahead of Ihara. Just manages to stop it on the by line. Plays it back. Tani with the cross. Headed out by Mizuzawa. Tokiwa goes for the loose ball. Ishizuka with the volley…Goal!”
“What a strike, Endo, what a strike. Fantastic. Absolutely a cracker of a goal. Kunimi goes 3-0 up.”

“Terakawa turns and shoots…Against the post! Abe puts it out. Throw in by Tokieda. Oka chests it down, lobs it into the box. Terakawa with a bicycle kick! Over the bar! Just barely.”

“That would have been some goal, Morikawa.”

“Long kick…and it is half time here in Tokyo National Stadium. 3-0 to Kunimi.”
“But it is not as one-sided as the score would suggest.”

“Welcome to the first Quarter-Final of the All-Japan High School Championship! We have Kagoshima Jitsugyo High School and Kyoto Akiba High School squaring off.”

“Yes, Morikawa, we shall take a look at the starting lineup later. But for now, let’s talk about the two teams. And as we can remember clearly, a moment of magic from Terakawa Tetsuyoshi gave Akiba a narrow 1-0 win over Kochi Minami in the previous round. On the other hand, Kagoshima Jitsugyo, which boasts Japan international Yasuhito Endo among its alumni, strolled to a 4-0 win over Naniwa High. What do you think?”

“Akiba needs to improve drastically to stand a chance. Kagoshima has Ryuzaki Jin, and you know how well he is playing at the moment. An average of 2 goals per game. He got a hat-trick in the previous game. He won’t miss those chances Kochi missed.”

“So, looks like it would be a challenge for Akiba then.”

“We will have to see. And we have the team lineups. Oh! Tokiwa Takuro, Captain of Akiba is on the bench today.”

“He wasn’t himself in the previous game. But it is interesting to see how Akiba will cope. Remember, Tokiwa has been the heartbeat of the team all this while.”

On the field, the team lineups were being announced.

“Number 9, Terakawa Tetsuyoshi. Number 11, Yoshida Akihiro…”

“No Tokiwa Takuro. What a pity. I would have loved to play against him,” Ryuzaki Jin thought to himself.

“All the best.” Terakawa’s handshake was firm. “He’s a good player. But volatile.”

“And we are off!”

“Ball down the flank…found Kumada. Kumada with a cross…GOAL!”

“Who else, but Ryuzaki Jin, the scoring sensation!”

“Just 30 seconds, and Akiba finds themselves one goal behind!”

“They are restarting…Terakawa is frustrated, it shows on his face.”

“Idiot!” Terakawa slammed his fist on his palm.

“Kumada is causing a lot of problems. He has been given a free role, apparently.”

“Another foul on Kumada. This time by Terakawa, he has dropped deeper to help out in defence.”

“Kumada floats the ball in…Ryuzaki! Oh! So close, just over the bar. Ryuzaki is disappointed. Akiba are relieved.”

“Kumada swivels on the ball…Oh! Scythed down by Terakawa.”

“Bad foul, Endo, it was a bad foul. Hacked him down from behind.”

“The referee gives Terakawa a yellow card.”

“Terakawa is clearly frustrated with the way things are going at the moment.”

“Free kick, close enough for a try at goal.”

“Kumada…Crashed against the post! Anywhere will do! Tokieda clears it out for a corner.”

“There is abit of a scuffle in the box and the referee is separating Ryuzaki and Terakawa. Terakawa has to be careful..he’s on a yellow already.”

“Here comes the corner…Ryuzaki..flicked it across goal..oh just wide! Surprised everyone there, we thought Kumada was playing it to Ryuzaki to head towards goal.”

“It was Haneda, the rightback. Ran in from deep. Good play there. And still 1-0 to Kagoshima.”

“Half time. 1-0 to Kagoshima.”

Kubo was silent.

“Come on! We have to fight! Get the ball up!” Terakawa ranted.

“Just do your best.” Kubo finally said.

Tokiwa’s eyes followed him out of the dressing room.

“5 minutes into the second half, still pretty much all Kagoshima.”

“Kumada, holding on to the ball…moves to the left…flicks it through..Goal!”

“Oooh nice play there. Ryuzaki again. Ran in behind the defence to get that ball and tucked it into the bottom corner. And he gets his second goal.”

“2 goals per game.”
“Terakawa with the ball, a rare foray upfront for Akiba…Ikeda goes in on him. Clumsy challenge! Oh what is happening?”

“Terakawa got up and shoved Ikeda to the ground!”

“The referee is blowing his whistle. Ikeda stays on the ground.”

“And that is a second yellow for Terakawa. He is shown the red. And Akiba are down to 10 men.”

“Terakawa cannot believe it, but you have seen it coming. That frustration crept in…”

“Yes, Endo…”

“Hey Ref! He fouled me!” Terakawa protested.

The referee shook his head and gestured towards the bench.

Terakawa turned away and walked out of the pitch.

“There seems to be tears on his face.”

“He is a brilliant player. But his temper has undermined his ability.”

“Absolutely, Morikawa. So, half an hour to go, down two goals and one man, what will Kubo do now?”

“Slightly more than 20 minutes to go…Kagoshima are still trying to increase their lead.”

“Tokiwa!” Kubo called to his captain.

“Yes, Coach.”

“Tokiwa,” Kubo put his hand on Tokiwa’s shoulder. “Look at the crowd. There.”

Tokiwa saw his schoolmates, the supporters of Kyoto Akiba. They were still waving the school flag.

“Do something, you are a man!” Kei seemed to be screaming at him.

“They need you there. Can you play?”

“Don’t you dare lose it,” he remembered Kei’s words.

“Yes, Coach.”

“20 minutes to go…substitution for Kyoto Akiba…Oh, it is the Captain Tokiwa Takuro coming on for Tokieda Yasuhiro.”

“Kubo wants to win. He is taking off a defender for his Captain. The crowd is cheering. Their Captain is coming on. It’s interesting to see what he can do in the remaining 20 minutes.”

Tokiwa waited at the sideline, eyes closed. He felt Tokieda’s hand slap against his own palm and opened his eyes. It was now or never.

“Finally. Tokiwa Takuro. I have been waiting for you.” Kumada thought.

“20 minutes, surely too late?” Ryuzaki smirked.

“Matsuda with the throw. Tokiwa flicks the ball…he’s free! Goes by Kumada…another…”

“It is now!” Tokiwa thought.

He played the ball all the way to the left side of the box with the outstep of his left foot.

“Oka is free…Goal!”

“I am stunned. Endo, what a clever piece of play by Tokiwa. He went to the center, sucking everyone else with him and simply played a perfect ball all the way to the left winger Oka, who has all the space and time he needed to put it away.”

“We over-shifted. One step behind him. He punished us for it,” Kumada thought.

“Tokiwa again. Plays the ball to Nagai, Nagai to Yokoi. Better play from Akiba.”

“Yokoi back to Tokiwa…oh, cheeky! Held back by Kumada. Free-kick to Kyoto.”

“Kumada gave away a free-kick in a dangerous position. He pulled Tokiwa back after Tokiwa had nutmegged him.”

“Yes, what a change. Kumada has been playing with the Akiba players.”

“I dare say Tokiwa will go for goal.”

Tokiwa raised his arm. “We have done it before, Yokoi. I will do my best to place it there. It’s up to you to put it in.”

“You will go for goal, won’t you, Tokiwa Takuro?” The Kagoshima keeper thought.

Tokiwa chipped the ball into the box. The onrushing Yokoi stabbed it past the surprised keeper.

“Goal! It’s all square now!”

“What a setup. Everyone thought he was going for goal, but he placed it right in front of the keeper and Yokoi was there to put it away.”

“What a turn of events!”

“Tokiwa Takuro is finally playing like Tokiwa Takuro.”

“Here comes Akiba again. They certainly have the momentum.”

“Tokiwa. Yokoi. Back to Tokiwa. Tokiwa goes for goal…GOAL!”

“Unbelievable, struck low and hard to the bottom corner, beyond the keeper’s reach. Less than 5 minutes to go, including injury time. Looks like Akiba will go through…”

“Kagoshima restarts quickly, they have no time to waste!”

“Long ball, Ryuzaki controls it, turns and volleys…palmed away by the keeper for a corner!”

“I think we will go right till the last whistle. Everyone is in the box, including the Kagoshima keeper. Kumada with the corner…Ryuzaki again! Oh, cleared off the line by Takeda! Fallen to Konno, Konno plays it to the right, to Kumada. Kumada assesses his options…robbed by Tokiwa!”

“Here comes Tokiwa again! Oh, is he trying to get another goal?”

“They can’t catch him, they have thrown everyone forward!”

“The referee is not blowing yet…”

“Tokiwa at the halfway line…Kumada is there! Slides in on Tokiwa.”

“Just managed to get the ball away. The whistle is blown. 3-2 to Akiba. Tokiwa totally changed the game.”

“Yes, he’s back, he’s back.”

Tokiwa caught his breath. Kumada was lying on the field, eyes closed.

“I wouldn’t have caught you if you didn’t have the ball. You are too fast. You would be even faster without the ball.” Kumada said.
Tokiwa smiled. “Good game.”

‘There is no future in football!”

“What do you mean there is no future in football?”

“Father used to play football, didn’t he? Then that injury. He had nothing left after that. What can you do with football? I don’t want Takuro to end up like Father.”

“He had you, your brother, your mother. Hiroko, your father has never regretted playing football. Even though he couldn’t play anymore after his injury, he still loved the game. He never blamed it.”

Hiroko was holding her grandmother’s photograph.

“Your father would have stopped Takuro. But he didn’t. You were too young to understand, Hiroko. Your father took it all in his stride. He was happy, Hiroko. Because of you. Because of your mother. Because of Taku. Let Taku play.”

“I am back!”

Hiroko turned around and quickly put the photograph back on the altar. “Welcome back.”

“Takuro, what does football mean to you?”

“Everything,” Tokiwa replied. “Why do you suddenly ask that, Sister?”

“Nothing…Dinner is ready.”

“And the score is still deadlocked at 0-0, with half an hour to go. Tokiwa of Akiba is looking lost on the field at the moment. His passes have been terrible.”

“Yes, Morikawa. And for a team, which so depends on their Captain, it is bad news. And meanwhile, Kochi Minami goes on the attack again.”

“Akiba has no rhythm at all.”

Kubo studied the proceedings on the field. “I need him there. Maybe that moment of magic is all we need.”

“Yet another stray pass from Tokiwa. And here comes Sakurai…just over the bar! And you start wondering how long Akiba can hold on!”

“A substitution here…”

“Tokiwa!”

The dazed-looking Tokiwa hurried to the sideline, where Matsuda was waiting to take his place.

“Tokiwa Takuro is coming off for Matsuda Keita. What do you think of this, Morikawa?”

“I think the coach Kubo has no choice. Tokiwa is simply not doing anything. I even wonder if he is Tokiwa.”

“20 minutes to go. Kochi still looks strong.”

“OH! What a shot! Rocked the crossbar. Really, Kochi must be sharper. But it’s all one way traffic here…”

“Here he comes again…Just wide!”

“The corner floated in…Oh! And the keeper just got his fist to it. It’s another corner.”

“Over the bar!”

“And Akiba survives that onslaught. The keeper with the goalkick now. 5 minutes to go. Do you need we will have a shootout?”

“Maybe, Morikawa. Kochi are simply not putting away their chances.”

“Long ball…found Terakawa…Terakawa chests it down…what skill! He’s past his marker! GOAL!”

“Oh my goodness! Fantastic! How did he do that?”
“Killer instinct there, the moment he’s free, he went for goal. Magic.”

“The Akiba bench has erupted with joy. Something out of nothing. An innocuous long ball, and a goal!”

“And there is the whistle, Kyoto Akiba High School goes through to the next round of the All-Japan Championships, but frankly speaking, they did not deserve anything!”

“Yes…a moment of magic from the number 9 Terakawa and they are through…”

In the dressing room, there was relief all round.

“We got lucky. A moment of magic. That is what it is. Rest well.”

Kubo glanced at the silent Tokiwa and strode out.

Tokiwa sat on the pavement outside his house, twirling his football round and round.

“What are you thinking about?”

Tokiwa stopped and looked up. It was Kei. Kei sat down beside him.

“Nothing much.” Tokiwa mumbled.

“Has your Grandmother’s death affected you?”

Tokiwa said nothing.

“You are letting her down. You know how much she supports you in football! Do something! You are a man!”

“What do you know?!”

Kei grabbed the ball from him, “ You know too. It’s all in here.”

Tokiwa got up, “I have to go in. It’s cold. Don’t catch a cold.”

Kei threw the ball at his back. “Lousy.”

jsut finished watching densha otaku. so one less thing to do. but i quite like densha. and i was thinking about it.

10 things about Densha Otaku
1. MISAKI ITOU
epitome of beauty, grace and elegance. i got styled to death watching densha. i think casting her as Saori is right; no one else could have done it better. i simply cant think of anyone else.

2. There is still hope in this world, albeit you still need a bit of luck. maybe a huge dose of it.
hey, you look at tsuyoshi, hes a total loser lar. but what's the ending? and they say its based on a true story. oh well, he had all the luck.

3. Miho Shiraishi
she's too hot here. like the devil.

4. Keisuke
Saori's brother. very hot! very cool! who says there arent any guys worth taking anotehr look at here?

5. The webmaster
Also very cool! that's two for you

6.The wacky supporting cast
Tsuyoshi's friends are absolutely wacko. so damn funny lar.

7. Sakurai Kazuya
Saori's admirer in the show. He's absolutely funny, i tell you. i think he's the joke of the show. everytime i see him, i know somethings gonna happen.

8. how everything ties together
i really appreciate that the drama pple link everything up. the backgrounds of the characters, the quirky linkages between pple, like tsuyoshi's student being teh son of the train conductor who frequents that chatroom. the son very cute, keep rambling out the names of the stations on a particular line.

9. the really wacky scenes.
i really laughed alot. it was so funny. and i am not referring to those involving kazuya. for eg, the skateboard thingy was damn funny.

10. Tsuyoshi's colleague, the "boss"
hunky!

it's a good show. entertaining.

and so, the J-League comes to its conclusion. not without the drama which so characterised it this season. Gamba nicked it in INJURY TIME, can you believe it! and so it ended with Gamba on 60 points, Urawa, Kashima, JEF and Cerezo, all on 59 points. What a hell of a ride.

Though we didnt win it(Kashima Antlers), reading the report of our 4-0 victory at home, over Kashiwa Reysol, i felt a sense of pride surging in me. At least we capped it off with a fantastic win, and it sort of made up for our slip-up which blew the title race open a while back(we had a seemingly-unassailable lead then). But perhaps, the most emotional moment was this:

In Kashima, as time ran down and it became apparent that the Antlers could no longer hope to give Toninho Cerezo a final title as a sending-off present, the fans were nevertheless given a chance to roar with pride. Late in the match, as Kashima won a penalty kick which promised to give the home team an unshakeable 4-0 lead, Toninho Cerezo called to the bench and sent in 36-year-old Yasuto Honda -- the grand old man of the Antlers -- to take the PK. As the crowd sang in celebration, Honda drilled the shot and claimed what will almost surely be the final goal of his long and illustrious career.

Maybe that is the beauty of football.

And it makes you salute those One-Club-Men, like Fran of Deportivo, Maldini of Milan, and so on...

everything will be decided in the next few days.

and so it dawned on me that it was really all over. finito.

and it dawned on me that someone won't be around for a while. at least till the 12th.

and it dawned on me that 8th would be the 2nd round thing for the firefly.

and it dawned on me that it's already the 4th.

and i realise the 8th comes before the 12th. so, it's a trial i must go through before the 12th.

and i realise 7th is the np gathering. and i realise i only have 5th and 6th to enjoy myself before the 8th(i prefer sweetness first, bitterness later, cos u nv noe when u r going to die, so u shuld enjoy urself first. if u say u enjoy later, den u die before that, how? oh this doesnt apply to food, cos i trust i wun choke to death, so i finish off the least tastiest stuff first.)

and i realised i was 10 minutes late on friday morning, 240a.m.

and i am wondering why the hell do i care about this, about the 12th.

unless the unthinkable has happened.

maybe.

but did i mention i wanted the ending to be like higaki and ritsuko's?