umizaru2: limit of love

umizaru2 is coming out! on 10 august. i saw the trailer. it looks good. and yuna ito's faith is nice. its the song for the movie. can't wait for that week to come. because 7 aug, when everyones starting sch, i think i am coming out, to make up for the sunday they took. and to be out on 7 aug would be nice. then 10 aug, the movie comes out, and can watch during the weekend.

ai katou!

and when i am going gaga over umizaru2, japan's going crazy over tokyo friends-the movie. i went kino, bought the glorious game, a book abt arsenal and arsene wenger and a magazine wif otsuka ai and eita on the cover. they look good together. the kind of pple u expect to see on the street. u and me. because eita and otsuka arent fantastic looking. so hopefully the movie will come over some time soon.

there are some very nice lyrics.

but sometimes, you don't need words. or you don't need to understand the words. because when the song plays, you get these pictures in your head. whether or not they really fit the words, doesnt really matter. because these pictures are alot more important.

like when i listen to otsuka ai's friends, i may not understand, but i think of the mv, i think of my friends. all the memories together. a tinge of nostalgia. i think that is what otsuka ai wanted to convey.

and mr children's sign. i think of orange days. and i think of my own life in december. the time when we step out into the unknown, when we looked to each otehr for support, and the inevitable parting, and the promise to myself that if i have anotehr chance, i won't let it slip again.

and wat's boku no kimochi. i tink of the mv and i remember the time in december, wandering around and waiting.

so i guess the point is really the pictures they convey. when u watch the mvs, it does help, to draw a connection to the song. but ultimately, u will link it back to ur own life.

it is a little like creating your own version of the mv in your mind.

yes, i guess you can say that.

have you ever asked yourself what you were doing a year ago?
by a stroke of luck, i knew. i almost forgot. but i knew.
30 July 2005, we were at crystal jade in j8, a farewell dinner for mr lee and ourselves.

the 24th Batch
chen heng qing used to be called heskey. but his style of play is not like heskey, thank god. skill and power. now deals with office politics. and being caught in the web of love.

chia kang xuan, desmond is still as cute as ever. have you ever heard of a cute commando? they call him xiao bai.

goh khi hao is probably married with kids now.

guo chongwei is in his last year at poly. he will never play in defence again.

hou minsheng still smiles and still wants to meet all of us again, when he says he cannot make it for gathering(again).

koh tat jun, kenneth is still alive and barking. and he is barking in my camp. but he seldom boasts about the millions of girls after him nowadays.

kwok yi jun is the moody genius. swears alot less nowadays. less a barbarian.

leong chang sheng, edwin is on his way to becoming a mortar spec. and he is still as brur, i mean blur as ever.

loke zhi hao, daniel is sitting for his a's this year. charming as ever.

ng wei yuan, kelvin never stops running.

poh kai ren, daniel is in thailand, doing his service. don't get it wrong.

poh shin has drawn the short end of the stick. combat e officer. this time, kenneth can't claim to be in the worst state.

shi wenkai is enjoying his last year, slacking, flirting and being hero. his hair makes him look like an artist.

tiong kwong hoong is a guardsman. his story is a drama. or maybe even a fairy tale. magical.

toh kiat chay is going to be an ada officer. they are voted one of the slackest vocations. and sometimes, you do wonder if all your luck has gone to him (again)

toh wei xuan is me, who has forgotten how to defend.

yeo chao ming, samuel is in ada also. next time, he will call kc sir. and kc will make him run here and there. poor thing. luckily melvin has stopped ravaging him.

there were 17 of us. we were arrogant. we thought the world was ours. but when we went out into the big, big world, we were humbled. we realised life wasn't the rosy picture they painted for us. we struggled, we were defeated. we lost the swagger. but we still held our heads high, still maintained our dignity, our pride and honour.

we may part now. we may never speak to each other again. but we were once such a big part of each other's lives. we won't forget just like that.

as we fight on,

may god be with us. let us be strong. let us be inspired. let us be fearless.

看我们的队伍 雄壮威武
看我们的纪律 优秀严肃
看我们的力量 九牛二虎
看我们的精神 永不认输
公教 oei
NP oei
24th eh ba

you can go to the same place twice, but still see something new, something you have never realised was there.

silent sentinel

a world apart
through the space


if you were a metre tall
looking at things from the height of 1.2m.
inspired by beautiful life, where shuji(takuya kimura) wondered about how kyoko(tokiwa takako)'s world looked like from her wheel-chair bound perspective

1.name Ajax's great performance that you have seen and you will never ever forget:
the two draws against arsenal in 02/03. and the 2-1 win against roma in that same season.

2.in some words,how do you think Ajax will perform next year?
i think we will be dutch champions again. and maybe we will go far in europe. u never know.

3.What do you think about Huntelaar and his performances so far?
outstanding. worthy of that no.9 shirt.

4.Do you want Davids to make an Ajax return?
not really. though he had done alot for us. but i think our midfielders have learnt alot under galasek. now they need that place in the team to really develop.

5.name the best ever 2 Ajax's seasons:
2002/2003 of course. and 1972, when they won the treble.

6.What is your "dark day" as an Ajax fan?
when we were knocked out in the quarter-final by ac milan. we were on the verge of going tru on e away goal rule when they scored late in injury time. so close. it was especially painful, considering that valencia were also knocked out by inter milan, despite clearly dominating. it was a night when attacking football( ajax, barcelona, valencia) lost to defensive football( juve, milan, inter)

7.as for your knowledge,for how many overall matches(exactlly!) Ajax went unbeaten in the 95'-96' seasons?
i dunno. i noe that 94/94, we won the league unbeaten. and 95/96 we lost in teh champs league final to juve.

8.what are your overall thoughts about Louis Van gaal?
mixed feelings. i am letting his mismanagement of holland in 2002 cloud my judgement. but i tink at club level, he has done alot for ajax, but for holland, he was disappointing.

9.how would you rate the 2005/2006 Ajax's season(last season)?
very poor.

10.do you believe Ajax will be the best world's team once again in the near future?
yes. you have to believe it's destiny.

11.name the greatest ever 3 Ajax's Goalkeepers:
van der sar, lobont, van der sar.

12.name your all-time favourite 5 Ajax players:
chivu, litmanen, galasek, van der vaart, o'brien, maxwell, trabelsi, de jong
wait, revised: chivu, litmanen, galasek, van der vaart, sneijder, heitinga, huntelaar.
i think i will skip this question.

13.are you happy about Kata's arrivment as a coach?
quite. can't think of anyone else for the job.

14.who is your favourite Ajax player in this current squade?
wesley sneijder, huntelaar, maduro.

15.you are an Ajax fan-from when?
i dunno. it just happened. maybe you can say it was destined, so "when" is immaterial.

arsenal, english in name only

it's amazing how much they pay for footballers nowadays.

10million pounds, that's 29.4 million sing dollars for a 21 year old defender who has never played at senior level for his country. whom i have never heard of. that's how much west brom is asking for curtis davies. if you ask me, it is absolutely ridiculous. 10 million pounds, i would pay that for fabregas, someone who's 18 years old and has played a starring role in the champions league and the world cup. imagine, rosicky, a key player for czech comes in at 7 million. amazing.

i am glad chris waddle, an englishman, has come to arsene wenger's defence. after all, english players are seriously overpriced, yet substandard. just look at michael carrick. 18 million pounds, 53 million sing dollars. man utd must be crazy. carrick is good, but not that good. come on, the only englishman worth more than 15 million pounds is steven gerrard. come to think of it, i seriously cant think of any englishman who is convincingly worth more than 10.

another thing, of course, is that most english players cant fit into arsenal's system. you can't deny that. it takes something special to play in that system. and i can't think of any english players who should be in this system, really. i can think of many many non-english players who would look right at home playing in arsene wenger's arsenal, but no englishman. i dunno abt theo walcott.

overpricing, incompatibility. so i guess it is too bad that arsenal has only 2 senior english players in walcott and hoyte. how much they will play this season, i won't know.

back to how clubs are willing to spend ridiculous amount of money to buy a player. have u ever wondered why? i thought abt it. i think they are making a gamble, that they need this player desperately, that this player is the man who will complete their jigsaw puzzle. and they are banking that this player will become so important to them, like a legend. so much so that whatever they had paid, would be worth it. i think man utd is trying to find a cantona, a roy keane. but as i have said, it's a gamble. veron was a flop. ferdinand does not look at all like he's worth what they paid for him. van niistelrooy is the kind of gamble that you lose, but don't lose so much. he has become established enough to become a quasi-icon, such that should you need to sell him, clubs are willing to pay enough to make up a bit for what you paid. rooney is one gamble taht looks to be reaping its rewards. though that remains to be seen.

but why pay so much? look at thierry henry. look at kolo toure. vieira before them. fabregas.

sometimes, you have to give it to arsene wenger, the way he shops. astute.

maybe he should go switzerland again. i think they have quite a few promising young players. hopefully they are still available on reasonable prices after the world cup.

someone said that he admired those people who stayed on because they were strong, and said those who left were weak.

for that moment, i agreed with him.

but looking back, don't you think those who wanted to leave, and fought to leave were strong too? warped as it may sound, but have you ever considered it from their viewpoint? you can judge them morally, ethically, whatever. you can say they are weak, whatever. but at the end of the day, if out is what they want, what they got, and they are happy, nothing you say, will ever take it away. nor will it prove their weakness. i think they are strong, simply because it takes a lot of conviction. to take that leap.

on the otehr hand, those who stayed...what if tehy just somehow stayed on? what if the reason why they stayed on was because they couldnt make up their mind if they wanted to be in or out? what if they just din have the guts to say they wanted out? arent they weak then?

i am not really referring to ashley cole. but his case does come to mind.

have you ever looked at a painting from another angle?

dennis bergkamp

and so, we bade dennis bergkamp farewell at the emirates. it is fitting that it should be against ajax, because ajax was where it all began.

there are many great players in the world. dennis bergkamp might not have been the first. he might not have been the best.

but he was the very first player who captured my imagination. maybe the only one.

years later, i have seen clips of van basten, cryuff, maradona, pele, many other greats. even zidane.

but bergkamp still remained as that special player: the first player who showed me the boundless capacity for beauty in football. the passes, the touches, the goals. everything.

dennis bergkamp goals are special goals. but my absolute favourite goal is the france'98 goal against argentina in the last minute, which turned out to be the winner.

i can still remember that goal very clearly.

it is the best, not just because it was classy, it was lethal, but also because it embodied faith. the faith that we would go through. to score so late in the game requires tremendous belief, tremendous faith.

it was one goal which demonstrated faith. and there is alot of beauty in faith.

i was praying for that goal. and it came. it could not have been simpler. could not have been more beautiful.

the lake house

i was watching tv yesterday, very rare these days, when i saw this commercial/trailer for a new film called the lake house. i'll bet you your entire fortune that it's based on il mare. which was like 2001 or something. quite long ago, but still very special.

and you better dun bet, because i just went to the official website and they said it's based on il mare.

maybe u will consider such movies as sappy love stories, though i still dun tink il mare was. but in any case, i think the present me wun go watch these so-called sappy movies. but luckily i did in the past. or i wuldnt have seen such nice shows as il mare. and i tink i wuld be a little emptier as a result.

and i think life is like a series of phases. at this particular phase, we will like this, in anotehr phase, we would ahve grown out of it and like that. but even so, you will still ahve some feeling for the this, though you are now only interested in the that. fond memories of the past, you can say.

having said that, i tink i will want to watch the lake house because i want to see how it turns out.
il mare was after all very special. and though i dun believe it's fair to compare...well, maybe that's a reason. and maybe i want to see this story from a western perspective. see how it differs. but still,

some things in life, they will only come by once, never to be emulated.

like there's only one dennis bergkamp.

things i want to do right now

1) snuggle up in my bed
2) play
3) walk down the street with you, whoever you are
4) watch jam punch
5) walk along takashimaya square on christmas day, listening to yuki no hana.
6) go to the airport
7) spend time with somebody
8) have a very nice meal
9) talk to you, whoever you are
10) don't go back to reality

it felt so surreal.

the past few saturdays' effort finally bore fruit.

i felt that it was so good, so wonderful, that it was really so unreal.

you wished it wouldnt end.

but i am very glad we pulled it off.

but it was really very surreal.

and now, when it's all over, it's just so...

weird.

empty.

everything that's nothing.

otsuka ai's amaenbo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsvNz7JuAIY

i never realised the lyrics were this nice.
and otsuka ai's hairstyle is very stylish.

feel so much like playing now

heart.

it must be a sign from the gods.

my camera, there's something wrong. the memory card too, i think. and you know what? there are some photos inside, photos which mean, meant alot to me. which i haven gotten around to saving to my com. lost forever.

destined.

must be.

leo to suzanne

Leo:
i want to say goodbye to you.
you who have been a big part of my life.
you whose photos i dare not look at, lest i turn back yet again.
you who vex me time and again.
you whom i think about every now and then.
you whom i dream about every now and then.
you whose name i cry out subconsciously in my heart.
you who seem to get jealous in me easily.
you whom i want to ask "how have you been?"
you who seem to have forgotten me.
you whom i no longer understand.
you who's left me behind.
you who were everything to me.
you whom i may just have never known.

they just rebuilt the bball court near my hse.

i have a funny habit. i was looking at the court just now and the thought suddenly flashed across my mind: it's a good place to play football.

i suppose u can say i am always on the lookout for nice places to play.

and at clarke quay there, beside the river, there's this bank thingy. you will know when you get there. i think that's a super place to play.

maybe otsuka ai's best known songs are all the fast catchy ones like smiley.

itsumo waratte genki de genki de atashi wa sou mieteru? miseteru always smiling vibrantly; full of energy, is that how I appear? that's what I show -himawari

but i think her nicest songs are all the slower ones, the emotional ones. she writes her own songs, so i wonder about her own story. maybe when you put all the bits of every song together, you get otsuka ai's story.

amaenbo, otsuka ai

不器用だけと　あたしがしたかったコト
bukiyou dakedo atashi ga shitakatta koto
although I am a bit awkward at it, that which I really wanted to do

ぎゅっとしがみついて　あたし　あなたに甘えんぼ
gyutto shigami tsuite atashi anata ni amaenbo
was cling to you tightly and not let go (just like a spoiled child)

ずっと探してた　おっきくて安らげる
zutto sagashiteta okkikute yasurageru
having searched for a long time I really felt at ease

愛に包まれてる　あなたの腕の中
ai ni tsutsumareteru anata no ude no naka
wrapped in your arms, engulfed in love

もっと強く抱きしめて　もう離さないで
motto tsuyoku dakishimete mou hanasanaide
hug me even tighter, don't ever let go

素直じゃないあたしは　どうしようもなく　今　甘えんぼ
sunao jyanai atashi wa doushiyoumo naku ima amaenbo
now, being so overcome there is nothing more I can do. (just like a spoiled child)

himawari, otsuka ai

datte natsu no taiyou wa konna ni mo akarui kedo natsu no tsuki wa
even though the summer sun is that bright,

dokoka setsunai sabishii yo anata ga inai to konna ni mo
it's because you're not here with me that the summer moon is somehow painful and lonely

matteiru koto wa totemo kodoku de
waiting is just so terribly lonely...

arigatou ironna sasaete kureta kotoba ni soshite
thank you for all the support you've given me through words

tatta hitori no anata ni
for the one and only you

otsuka ai

finally got otsuka ai's jam punch tour 2005 dvd.

it rocks like mad.

the band intro is so cool. its hard to describe. it's kind of funny. but it is really stylish in the otsuka way. it's very otsuka ai. you have to see it for yourself to understand.

of cos it's got all the nice songs.

my only complaint is that there's no 5:09 a.m.

otsuka ai is so otsuka ai.

love songs

faith, will, somehow, destiny, style, fate, belief

my favourite words of the english language.
***

and so, the world cup is over.

i think this world cup will be remembered as one that produced nothing outstanding.

the only thing worth remembering was the belief that pulsated through the entire german nation. and some fantastic goals. and ronaldinho not showing up. nothing much, seriously.

but i hoped that everyone had enjoyed himself or herself.

it is still, a celebration of football. a spectacle. a fiesta. a carnival. whatever you call it, but the idea is there.

***
Love songs for the various seasons

Spring: hana (orange range) missing you (fly to the sky)
Summer: sangatsu no kokonoka (remioromen) sign (mr children) uh juh myun (seo jin young)
Autumn: planetarium(otsuka ai)
Winter: Yuki no Hana (nakashima mika) konayuki (remioromen)

what are we looking for?

life is actually very simple.
i think man just made it complicated.

on the very first day of econs s, gilbert talked about the three basic assumptions:
man is greedy
man is selfish
man is rational and makes rational decisions to maximise self-interest.

i wish.

because i do believe that if we maximise our own self-interest, society would somehow be better off. adam smith's invisible hand.

i think man is just fundamentally flawed.

i have one more question.

we seek knowledge.

but what good is knowledge, frankly?

i am sorry, copernicus, but so what if we know the world doesn't revolve around us? that earth revolves around the sun?

by some long chain of logic, you might reach the rebuttal that knowledge ultimately leads to salvation.

salvation in terms of what? longetivity? an eternal life? so what if we live forever?

salvation in terms of purpose then...

so what if i know what i am on Earth for?
what if i don't want to be on Earth for that purpose?
so what if i live a meaningful life for ever and ever? So what?

then you backtrack and bring forth the concept of understanding. knowledge allows us to understand ourselves.

so what if i understand?

then you are better able to accept things as they are...

so why don't i just accept everything and stop?
so what if i understand that i have to live a meaningful life for ever and ever?
where do i go from there?
or am i supposed to accept that my life would be like a tape recorder that keeps replaying itself over and over again? so what if i am able to do that?

so what so what so what?

does anything mean anything at all?

himawari

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=weDl79I3xA8

this was the clip in question. right at the end.

Otsuka Ai's Himawari at her 2005 concert.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0YeodNQntg
the song is damn nice. not supposed to be like this, apparently. the original was faster, i tink. but i think it sounds very good like this, with the piano.

her Friends
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8piRz1CI2bA

i watched a clip of the highlights of the germany and italy game.

podolski should have done better with that header. and that shot after he turned materrazi out. what a nice turn, but wasted his own effort with that shot.

grosso's goal was well-taken. pirlo took his time. it was a good pass, but i think the key thing about this goal was that no one noticed that grosso was unmarked IN THE BOX. i think that's a bit insane. it's the veto factor why they got the goal; not due to pirlo's genius. of cos he did very well to thread the ball tru 3 players, but i think if u were in his shoes and saw grosso, you would have went for the pass.

and when del piero got that second goal, they showed a fan in tears.




that scene affected me alot.

i saw an old photo, taken in 2002. i knew it was 2002 because on the wall was the world cup schedule. in that exact same spot today is the schedule of germany 2006.

it is different, yet the same.
the lyrics may have changed, but the tune is still the same.
the appearance may have changed, but it's still the same person.

lookin at the photo, i felt the urge to put it down in words, lest i forget who i was 5 years from now.

[team]
if one thing hasnt changed, it's that i still love holland alot alot.
and ajax and arsenal and valencia.

[player]
dennis bergkamp will always be that special player in my heart.
but in 2002, ballack was my favourite player, if you don't count bergkamp, because bergkamps status is something like god.
in 2006, i don't really have any player whom i admired as much as ballack. i like alot of players, but none can really be distinguished as my fave player after bergkamp.

[singer/band]
it was b'z. inaba and matsumoto are still the coolest. but their newer songs, other than ocean, arent as fantastic as their older songs.
in the meantime, there is someone called otsuka ai. i still like b'z alot of cos.

[song]
b'z's gold in 2002.
no clear favourite now.

[book]
still daughter of teh samurai. just that david winner's the brilliant orange is like my bible. i read it again and again. especially the chapters 3: the beauty of thought and 11: the eleventh commandment.

[drama]
summer snow in 2002. now orange days.

[author]
none, now murakami.

my train of thought is suddenly disrupted. just feels as though i am being overwhelmed. by something i can't explain.

Friends

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8piRz1CI2bA

Friends, by Otsuka Ai
lyrics thanks to vlasco

遠くまで　歩いてみた　何も持たずに歩いた
tooku made aruite mita nani mo motazu ni aruita
without anything, we tried walking to that far away place

君に会った　あの日のコトは　今でも宝物
kimi ni atta ano hi no koto wa ima demo takaramono
the happenings of that day I met you are a treasure even now

夕焼けで隠した横顔　見られたくなかった
yuuyake de kakushita yokogao miraretakunakatta
I didn't want you to see my profile hidden by the sunset

ちっぽけでポツリ涙なんて　らしくなくて
chippoke de potsuri namida nante rashikunakute
even though that sort of thought is rather insignificant; not worthy of a single teardrop

その手を　そっと　離した
sono te wo sotto hanashita
as our hands softly parted

さよならって　言えたらきっと
sayonara tte ietara kitto
surely if I could say "goodbye"

もっとカンタンに　忘れられたの?
motto kantan ni wasurerareta no?
would it have been simpler to forget?

もしまたいつか　会える時には
moshi mata itsuka aeru toki ni wa
if someday we meet again...

ありがとうって　言える　ように・・・・
arigatou tte ieru you ni
I'll be able to say "thank you"...

あの写真から聞こえる笑い声
ano shashin kara kikoeru waraigoe
you can hear the laughter from that photograph

どこまでも響いてたね
dokomademo hibiiteta ne
resonating everywhere, can't you?

育児なしポツリ涙なんて
ikuji nashi potsuri namida nante
much like a cowardly teardrop

情けなくて　わざと　イヤな　ヤツのフリした
nasakenakute wazato iya na yatsu no furi shita
I was so miserable that I purposely pretended to be nasty

いつものように　言えたらきっと
itsumo no you ni ietara kitto
like always... surely if I could say...

もっと　カンタンに　笑えたのかな
motto kantan ni waraeta no kana
would it have been simpler to smile?

もし　また　いつか　会える　時には
moshi mata itsuka aeru toki ni wa
if someday we meet again...

いつものように　言えるように
itsumo no you ni ieru you ni
to be able to say... like always...

忘れないでって　言えたら　きっと
wasurenaide tte ietara kitto
surely if I could say "I didn't forget"

どんなことも　信じられたの？
donna koto mo shinjirareta no?
would I be able to believe in such a thing?

ほんの少し強くなりたい
hon no sukoshi tsuyoku naritai
I want to become just a little stronger

もっと素直に　なれるように
motto sunao ni nareru you ni
in order to become more sincere

さよならって　言えたらきっと
sayonara tte ietara kitto
surely if I could say "goodbye"

もっとカンタンに　忘れられたの
motto kantan ni wasurerareta no?
would it have been simpler to forget?

もしまたいつか　会える時には
moshi mata itsuka aeru toki ni wa
if someday we meet again...

ありがとうって　言える　ように・・・・
arigatou tte ieru you ni
I'll be able to say "thankyou"

遠くまで　歩いてみた　何も持たずに歩いた
tooku made aruite mita nani mo motazu ni aruita
without anything, we tried walking to that far away place

君に会った　あの日のコトは　今でも宝物
kimi ni atta ano hi no koto wa ima demo takaramono
the happenings of that day I met you are a treasure even now

bastian

and he knew he had scored a very special goal.

portugal, despite having the lion's share of possession, never looked like they were going to spoil the german party.

schweinsteiger's first goal came out of the blue, and is testament to the defining characteristic of the ball: the lightness of it, and the resultant wicked trajectory. maybe the keeper should have done better; but it was still a good goal. right in between the keeper's arms.

the third goal was truly magnificent. placed into the right side of the goal. all the way. a very special goal.

that is the reason why i always believe that right-footers can play on the left and vice versa; you always have the option to cut in to shoot.

of course it's much much better if you can play with both legs. then, you can do anything.

and i thought kehl played quite well. a touch of class with tenacity. especially that attempt at goal, when he tried to lob ricardo, who managed to backtrack and tip it over the bar. i think that was classy. too bad it din go in.

3-1 to germany. much to my relief, because i had this bad feeling that portugal would win.

one last triumph?

when i saw goi's msg, i knew immediately that something bad had happened to germany. and it was true.

before that, hq was saying mebbe there would be a conspiracy to let germany go all the way. they will win somehow. and i was thinking: so be it, better that germany win it than anyone else.

but it was not to be.

italy v france.

maybe the conspiracy is to let italy win to renew some faith in football, after all their scandals. you know, they say thats what happened in 2004, letting greece win to give them confidence ahead of the olympics.

but i would want france to win.

because i dun really like italy, other than their anthem.

and maybe, zidane deserves something to cap it all off.

just one last triumph?

i always knew my luck would run out someday. whatever little i had.

it's like your world crashing down.

sinking to my knees.

you know you had lost.

i was probably aware of the possible impossibility of holland winning the world cup this year. yet, i was willing holland to win. the faith, the belief, all stemmed from the fact that to me, this world cup is the last chance for redemption, to right everything that has gone wrong. not for holland, but for me. i know that if we win it, it will erase all the pain of the past two years. especially from december onwards.

this redemption, is something only holland can achieve; not germany, not spain.

ps said before, sometimes what happens to ur team can bear an uncanny resemblance to your own life.

the season when everything went wrong for arsenal, valencia and ajax, the 04/05 season was a prime example. for him, it was arsenal only. for me, it was three times the coincidence.

05/06 wasnt fantastic. moments of brilliance. but mostly all wrong.

every moment, clinging on to the belief that things will change.

so, my faith in holland mirrored this belief.

songs for healing
1. gekkou, chihiro onitsuka

songs for inspiring
1. michishirube, orange range
2.gold, b'z
3. ultra soul, b'z
4.i was born to love you, queen

songs for renewing faith
1. hana, orange range
2. ai no tameni, ueto aya
3. poison, takashi sorimachi
4. be alive, yuki koyanagi

songs for feeling sad
1. meng de di tu, fang hao wen
2. ru guo ni hai ai wo, guang liang
3. liu lei shou xin, wang li hong
4. ai shi ru ci bu rong yi, ai chen
5. zai yi ci yong you, gong shi jia
6. yuan yuan ai zhe ni, gong shi jia

songs for wrenching your heart
1. sangatsu no kokona ka, remioromen
2. konayuki, remioromen
3. take my heart, band ohne name
4. symphonie, silbermond

songs for feeling restless
1. glamorous sky, nakashima mika
2.cassis, gazette
3.sono speedo, the brilliant green
4. suddenly, dream come true
5. ocean avenue, yellowcard
6. geile zeit, juli
7. perfekte welle, juli
8. feel your breeze, v6

songs for turning back time
1. secret base, zone
2. boku no kimochi, wat
3. sign, mr children
4. tentai kansoku, bump of chicken

yuki koyanagi's anata no kisu wo kazouemashou~you were mine
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2b2MjyJ5pk

yuki koyanagi's be alive
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5JshUhvDeE

the girl inside is damn chio la.

anyway, it feels like i am digging up memories. lookin up all the videos of all the old songs. listening to all the old songs. trying to turn back the hands of time, maybe?

maybe france will win tonight. maybe they will turn back time again. one last gasp, one last push, one last sprint, one last triumph.

isn't it amazing? it's kind of beautiful, how an entire nation can share a belief. a belief that they can win. you can feel it. it is too strong. and i really think it is wonderful.

and when that cambiasso penalty was blocked by lehmann, i just jumped up. germany was through. faith, wk told me to have in them. they justified it. one goal down, they came back.

i wondered why peckerman took off riquelme for cambiasso. it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy. he thot germany would be relentlessly attacking, so he wanted to shore things up. germjany kept attacking. a cross from ballack, flicked on by borowski, klose headed in. very very nice. and in the dying minutes, argentina had a few forays. imagine if riquelme were there. things could have been different. there could have been that real penetration they lacked wifout him.

if i really insisted on defending, iw ould have brought off tevez or rodrigues for cambiasso. no doubt tevez was always running. but that was about it. running wifout penetration. nothing comes out of it. of course peckerman probably wanted to keep tevez for his speed and rodrigues for his canny ability to strike wicked shots. so mebbe that was why riquelme was taken off. but i would never ever take off riquelme.

and cruz on for crespo was a little weird. i mean, crespo din really saw much of the ball, so he din have a good game. but he is still better than cruz. and mebbe he shuld have been kept on for that opportunistic ball.

the result is that when germany scored the equaliser, you don't believe argentina would score again, because they can't bring on messi, and crespo and riquelme are already out of the game.

on the other hand, klinnsmann played every card right. he brought on odonkor for schneider. and though odonkor couldnt get past sorin at first, towards the end, he just bulldozed his way tru. it wasnt pretty, but it was effective. argentina was tired, and couldnt cope well wif someone who runs 100m in 10.9s. as long as he can drill the ball across the face of goal, he is effective. and he was.

then he brought borowski in for schweinsteiger. borowski added stability to the midfield, and he flicked on that ball for klose.

then, neuville came on for klose. wj was stunned. but i guessed klose was eitehr tired, or klinnsmann was hoping for neuville to score a late goal again. in any case, neuville added some mobility and held the ball for the team well.

and full time came. first period of extra time ended. and i was thinking, germany had only 15 minutes to win the game, because the technical superiority of argentina might just win the shootout.

den i counted the no of german players who could take penalties. podolski, ballack, borowski, neuville. 4. they needed just 4 penalties to win, if lehmann kept his part of the bargain.

neuville scored. ballack scored. there was some concern that he would miss, cos he was injured. but he scored. den podolski struck such a sweet penalty into the bottom right corner. and borowski matched it. den lehmann saved. and germany were in the semis.

that kind of feeling was undescribable. and it wasnt even holland!

but one thing struck me abt podolski. he did not have any fear. before the shootout, klinnsmann was talking to him and another player. he looked ready to take the penalty any time. he was wifout fear. u jsut feel it. that's what struck me most.

and also, i felt sympathy for leo franco, who came on for the arg keeper. trusted into the game. he was quite poor thing. i hope he wasnt blamed too much. but wif 2 excellent penalties, he couldnt have done anything abt them.

and did u notice that lehmann guessed correctly all 4 argentine penalties???

and my choice of m-o-m was frings. he was everywhere. there was a period of time in the first half when germany was being overrun by argentina. except frings, who held his own. i was impressed. and ballack won back some respect, especially when he continued tru the pain barrier. but he was still frustratiing, wif his jekyll and hyde performance, brilliant one moment, sloppy the next.