dilemma

in world war two, as part of the nazis' aim of racial purity, they took children from the east, such as poland back to germany, give them german identities and german adoptive parents. after stringent tests of course.

and when the war ended, the search for these children began.

many of these children were, by then leading happy lives with their new families, and in the more developed west. they didn't want to go.

and the aid workers were torn. would you want to take someone away from a happy life to put him back in his rightful place, the communist Eastern Europe, which is actually worse off?

the same dilemma is now playing out in afghanistan. hamid kharzai doesn't want to exchange the taleban prisoners for the korean hostages because the last time he did something like that, he was criticised. and of course, there is some basis for that criticism. it will embolden the taleban.

what would you do, if you were hamid kharzai?

how would you feel if you were that kid being sent back to Poland?
how would you feel if you were that korean hostage?

emirates cup

valencia looks very good against inter. or maybe that's just cos inter's poor. comprehensive 2-0 victory. always looked comfortable.

in contrast to arsenal, who sort of struggled against a fully-fit PSG. clichy looks very good though. along with senderos. and diaby and hleb. but clichy was the best player for arsenal, i thought. wenger's gamble failed in the first half. flamini and diaby cant play on the flanks. and it stifles fabregas and denilson. in the second half, when he puts two players who stick to the lines, ie clichy and eboue, denilson and diaby had more space to run the midfield. and hleb looks happy playing in a free role, though that isn't viable, because bendtner doesn't seem like he can play as a lone striker. maybe eduardo can. so we have to wait and see.

but i think the emirates cup and the amsterdam tournament are the most exciting pre-season competitions, because they encourage attacking football, and also because they are played at two very nice, state-of-the-art stadia.

mvs

the person who thought of putting music together with video must be a genius, because that is a winning combination: it combines both the visual and audio aspects to such devastating effect. that is why movies have soundtracks. but if you don't have the patience to sit through a movie, there are always mvs. and mvs, being short, are usually the equivalent of the magic moments in the movie. so basically it is like the highlights.

and the best part is that mvs also leaves gaps for you to fill in. your own imagination or what.

4th

so, japan lost 5-6 on penalties to korea after a 0-0 draw. and the fact that naotake hanyu missed the last penalty says it all. the subs who came on were the same as in the saudi game.

so, everything was wrong.

not that it really mattered. sure, auto qualification for the 2011 asian cup. but other than that, it is inconsequential. anyway, maybe playing the qualifying round is better because at least it is competitive. but whether you are 3rd or 4th, it doesn't matter, because you are the loser in the semi-final.

but this tournament has revealed a few fundamental problems for japan.

why is it that the team that played the best football in the tournament lost?

-no subs to change the game. no squad depth.
-lack of emotions. you don't feel as though the players have the desire to win. just look at shunsuke nakamura. you never feel as though they fight hard enough.

sounds familiar. the second point in fact is related to the mentality. it's all the same, however you phrase it.

ivica osim has not addressed these problems. i think he doesn't even know they exist. i think his substitutions are crap. he put too much faith in useless players like yano, naotake and sato. his biasedness towards jef united players jeopardises the team.

for this, they say he should go.

maybe he really should. a tournament is not about 11 players. if it were, then why do you pay the air tickets of the other 12? it is good to have a settled starting eleven. but not good when you bring subs in who make your team worse.

even anotehr 10 months for osim won't help unless he realises that he has to pick players based on quality.

it's back to square one, because that first 11, most of them are in their prime now. 25 to 28. in a few years, they are too old. let's face it. footballers' expiry dates are brought forward nowadays.

so you have to go back and trawl for the next generation.

in the end, japan is left to rue at what it could have been.

you can only kick yourself when you wonder why you aren't the one playing in the final.

it is always terribly disappointing when you think about what it could have been.

Through to the Final

Welcome to the Camp Nou. 120 000 fans today to watch Ajax Amsterdam take on FC Barcelona.

The atmosphere here is electrifying. Absolutely fantastic.

Well, we can only hope the football today will be, as well. But this is Barcelona-Ajax. The first leg was a great match, ended in a one-all draw. So Ajax have to score here.

It would be interesting to see if Barcelona will change their attacking approach for this game, because they know how good Ajax are at coming forward. These two teams, along with Arsenal who play Milan tomorrow, are the best attacking teams in Europe. Only one will go to Dortmound for the Final.

Ajax makes only a change from the first leg. Yusuf starts in place of Kafka. Ajax have 4 attackers on the bench: Debuchy, Szekely, Kafka, Ahmet Yilmaz, the young Turkish hotshot striker. Aulens, the reserve keeper, Santiago Sarossa and Leo Koovens are the other options on the bench.

Inostroza gets the ball back from Rosengarten. To Santamaria. Clever flick there…De Pedro is through…he squares the ball…Felix is there! Goal for Barcelona! Perfect start!

Nobody picked up Felix and that is what he is all about. A poacher through and through. The crowd seems alive now, after a slow to the game.

Inostroza…that’s a wonderful through ball for Schwechlen. Schwechlen holds off the challenge of Michele… Schwechlen with the shot! Fantastic last-ditch tackle from de Bruijn. The French striker rues the chance.

Santamaria switches the ball all the way to the right for Barnabas. Plays it back for the right-back Mendez. Mendez to Schwechlen. Schwechlen back to Instroza. Inostroza with the drive…GOAL!

What a goal! Nothing Klompe could do! It was going to the top corner, always going to the top corner. Fantastic effort.

He has two goals in the tie now. And Barcelona are closer and closer to Dortmound.

That’s what the fans are singing now. Vamos a Dortmound. They are going to Dortmound, that’s what they are saying.

It is really up to Ajax to come up with a response in the second half. To be fair, they look a little overawed by the occasion, by the huge, hostile crowd.

Conceding a second goal in injury time of the first half certainly does not help. But they really have to get things together for the second half. Still 45 minutes to play, much as the Barca fans think otherwise, it is far from over.

Welcome back to the Camp Nou. The Ajax players are just getting out to the pitch, where the Barcelona players are already waiting for the restart. No changes to either side.

Flannen tussles with Rosengarten. He’s got the ball…that’s a great turn from him. Releases to Tokiwa. Tokiwa! What an exquisite ball. Thiers. Thiers barges past Mendez. It’s a race between them.

Oh…clever play there from Thiers. Takes the ball past Alfonso…Thiers! It’s a goal! Ajax have pulled one back five minutes within the restart.

And the crowd has fallen silent. They are stung by the goal.

Quick and strong there, Thiers. Then Mendez slid for the ball. He saw it coming, he just cleverly pulls it back, Mendez out of the game. Then Thiers just skips past Alfonso so delicately, and places it into the far corner. The keeper had no chance, whatsoever.

Brilliant goal. Great vision from Tokiwa there. But don’t forget, Flannen won the ball in the first place.

And that’s crucial. In the first half, Rosengarten was dominating the midfield. Bossing it, running it. And Ajax couldn’t get into the game because of that. If Flannen can keep it up, then the match is still open, because Ajax has scored from their first real chance, and that’s what they are about. A lethal attacking team.

Ajax certainly are still in the game. The Camp Nou faithful are not showing it, still singing ‘Vamos a Dortmound’, but surely worries are creeping in.

Klompe to van Kijns. Van Kijns to Michele. De Bruijn. Ferronomo. De Bruijn. Flannen. Battaglia. Tokiwa is out on the right. Clever backheel. Van Kijns overlaps. Passes inside to Yusuf. Yusuf flicks it. Tokiwa, clever pass again, picking out Thiers on the left. Thiers, kills the ball excellently. Back to Ferronomo. Ferronomo to Sofronie. To Flannen. Flannen to Battaglia. Excellent dummy there. Tokiwa is open outside the box. Tokiwa stops the ball. Goal!

I must say, if we ever have any doubts about the class of this player, it has to be dispelled now. Because this must be a goal of the highest quality.

Indeed. Look at it. He stops the ball. He just stops there. Everyone around him stops. Then he just floats the ball delicately into the far post. The keeper did not move. Nobody moved at all. And the Camp Nou is absolutely silent now.

What a goal to silence the crowd. This is a goal that is worthy enough to bring the Camp Nou back to earth.

20 minutes to go, Ajax are level, but ahead on away goals.

Ajax are starting to play with the swagger. They are bossing Barcelona around in Barcelona’s own backyard. The small Ajax contingent are growing louder as their team’s confidence grows.

They are playing like champions.

Ajax will make a change. The young Turkish striker Ahmet Yilmaz will come on for Frederic Thiers. What an occasion for him. He won’t get a lot of time, but I am sure this day will forever be remembered by him.

For the rest of the players as well.

Three minutes of injury time. Only 180 seconds for Barca, but an eternity for Ajax. They will make another change. Leo Koovens will come on for Tokiwa Takuro, the scorer of that magnificent equalizer.

It’s all over! Ajax are through to the Final! It has been a great match. First half was Barca. Second half was Ajax. In the end, the score was even. But Ajax has scored more away goals than Barcelona. And they will go to Dortmound. They reached the Semis two seasons ago, the Last Eight last year. This season, they have finally reached the final.

It has been a titanic battle. But it ends in heartbreak for the Catalans.

Last Gasp Equaliser

Welcome to the Arena. Ajax have seven players who did not play over the weekend. Klompe in goal, Ferronomo, Michele, de Bruijn and van Kijns on the right. Battaglia, Flannen and Tokiwa in midfield. Kafka, Thiers and Sofronie in attack.

Interestingly, van Kijns did not play in the 1-1 draw with Heracles. It is the first time in the league this season that he did not start even when available.

That just shows how much Huysegem values this game. He took a risk on that game, left out van Kijns, Flannen, Battaglia, Tokiwa, Thiers and Sofronie. Ferronomo also did not play in that game. And the draw saw their lead at the Eredivisie cut to 3 points.

Well, I am quite surprised that Ferronomo is starting this match. I thought Santiago Sarossa would be preferred for his experience.

Another risk, perhaps?

A free-kick in a dangerous position. Inostroza stands over it. Inostroza goes for it…GOAL!

Superb free-kick. Klompe had no chance. It went around the wall, curled back into the net. What a free-kick.
And so Barcelona takes the lead on the hour.

20 minutes to go. No sign of activity on the Ajax bench.

If he wants to make a change, now is the time.

I don’t know, but I think maybe Huysegem should consider bringing in Yusuf. He is not your typical winger. He gets in behind the defence to score. He is tricky, wily, unpredictable. They call him the ‘Desert Fox’. I thought he could provide another option here.

Thiers on another rampaging run. They just can’t stop him. He sends the ball to the far post…Kafka! Oh, he just missed the ball by that little.

Well, I wouldn’t know who to take off, if I were Huysegem. In Thiers, you always have a potential match winner, because he is so good taking on the defenders, he is so confident, he is so quick, so skilful, and packs a good shot, he can produce a moment of magic. On the other hand, Kafka is another classy player, so good with crosses. He is pure technique, pure technique.

Three styles to choose from, he has chosen the explosive Thiers and the cultured Kafka. The flamboyant Yusuf will stay on the bench.

Free-kick for Ajax. Now, this is a good position to send in a good cross. Tokiwa chips it in…de Bruijn stabs it home! It’s 1-1! 5 minutes to go, Ajax have equalized.

Perfect delivery, just like a training scenario. Look at it again, lots of bodies, but de Bruijn stretched and got to it. Poked it in. Poacher goal for the defender.
It’s all over. Ajax have to go to Barcelona and score. A 0-0 draw will mean Barcelona go to the Final on away goals. And obviously, if Barcelona scores and Ajax doesn’t, Barcelona will win the tie. So, the equation is simple for Ajax. Go to the Nou Camp and score.

inter

Fortress San Siro

Hello to you. If you have just joined us, we have the quarter-final tie between Inter Milan and Ajax coming up shortly here in the San Siro.

This is a fortress. Inter Milan have not conceded more than a goal at this ground in 3 years. And they have been unbeaten here this season.

Inter is all about the defence. They conceded only one goal, can you believe it, in the Group Stage. Drew 0-0 with Marseille, then beat them 2-0 here in the Round of Sixteen.

But their opponents today, are a stylish attacking outfit. They thrashed Liverpool 4-0 in Amsterdam, beat them again at Anfield. They scored in every game in the Champions’ League this season. So they can score. The question is, can they score against the meanest defence in Europe.

Only one change to the team that beat Sparta Rotterdam 5-0 on Sunday. Ferronomo comes in for Santiago Sarossa at left-back.

Well, this guy’s Italian, he’s played Inter twice last season, and impressed on both counts, I thought. You can’t tell he’s just turned 19. But then again, you can’t tell that Frederic Thiers is 19, Tokiwa Takuro is 20. And the starting eleven today, except for Kafka, is below 25 years of age. And even Kafka himself just turned 25 last month.
A very young team indeed. But they have certainly impressed.

Battaglia. Battaglia to Flannen. Flannen releases Thiers down the right. Thiers cuts in, flicks the ball…Sofronie is through…Last-ditch tackle by Ferrari.

There is very little space, frankly.

This game is pretty much balanced, both sides canceling out each other. Inter, just not giving Ajax the space to play.

Tokiwa. Immediately two players are on him. Lays it back to Flannen.

Tokiwa, all the way to the left to Ferronomo. Ferronomo… no way through. Excellent defending by Inter again.

Very frustrating for Ajax. Inter are content to defend and catch them on the break.

Welcome back to the game. Ajax will make a change. Kafka will come off for Yusuf.

Now, this is interesting. Yusuf might just be the player to break the monotony.

Tokiwa to Yusuf. He moves inside with the ball. Tokiwa again. Tokiwa plays it through the gap! It’s van Kijns. Van Kijns cuts inside…Falls…It’s a penalty!

Briotti is protesting. Yusuf moves in cleverly, creates space behind him, and Tokiwa just plays it into the path of van Kijns. It’s a very good ball. The angle must be absolutely correct. Van Kijns controlled it well, goes into the box, and his run was checked by Briotti. And Briotti just clipped him here on the ankle. It’s a clear penalty.

A lot more movement off the ball from Ajax after Yusuf’s come in, and they got their reward.

That’s how you unlock a tight defence. You move the ball around and wait for the opening.

Flannen will take the penalty. Flannen… cool and composed. Sent the keeper the wrong way. And Ajax have the lead.

22 minutes to go, now Inter have to come out.

Marchionni…tackled by Flannen. Flannen sprays it immediately to Ferronomo. Ferronomo with a wonderful ball forward. Sofronie…Sofronie will get to it. It’s 3 on 2! Sofronie takes on Pablo Canas. Turns him inside out…cuts the ball back…Tokiwa is there! Tokiwa scores!

What vision to pick out Tokiwa. He could have gone for the shot, but he saw Tokiwa coming outside the box, he plays it back. Tokiwa got the space he needs to place it perfectly in the bottom corner.

Inter took risks, left space behind. Ajax won the ball, countered. And the Italian left-back played that wonderful ball into space for Sofronie to chase.

Simple and effective. Ajax are so quick getting forward. Thiers, Tokiwa, Sofronie taking on the two center backs. The defence just had no chance.

That’s the end! Inter’s proud home record is shattered by the upstarts from Amsterdam.

If you ask me, the fullbacks did their job tonight, and probably a bit more. Both were involved in a goal each, and they kept the clean sheet.

Yeah. It will be an interesting game in Amsterdam. Inter have to attack. And will Ajax tear them to shreds by playing on the counter in their own backyard?

Well, I think Foti faces a difficult trip to Inter. He doesn’t really want to go there to attack, and now he has to.

Ajax are no slouch at the Arena. And they are still unbeaten in the Champions’ League.

We shall see, if Inter can produce something at the Arena. Until then, it’s good night from the San Siro. Final score, Inter Milan 0, Ajax Amsterdam 2.

Very Routine

If you have just joined us at the Arena, it is 0-0 here between Ajax and Inter Milan, half an hour to go.

Well, it is been a quiet game. Not much action. Inter have to attack, but they somehow aren’t doing so effectively, while Ajax seem content with things at the moment.

No real breakthroughs from either side, I must admit.

And there it is. Inter has done what they couldn’t do at home. Stop Ajax from scoring. But it is inconsequential. They are out of Europe. Ajax did the job away, and will now go through to the Semi-Final, where either Barcelona, AC Milan or Arsenal await.

what's left and next

so it's actually 22 games to go, already reduced to 21, potentially reduced to 20.

having secured 75 percent of a short stint with Urawa Red Diamonds, the one question that is boggling me is: am i going to sign for Bayern?

speechless yet again

well, they say it's the match of the tournament. and i ended up on the wrong side of the score again. euro 2004 again. only this time, japan, unlike holland, didnt throw away a 2 goal lead. they just never found the third equaliser.

and considering that both your centrebacks got the goals, something is surely very wrong. i never expect much from seiichiro maki anyway. he is just a lousy imitation of inzaghi. but takahara was not himself.

so was keita suzuki. he never got to any of those 50-50 balls, never won the challenges in midfield. and that's why saudi kept breaking forward.

shunsuke nakamura never left gear one. in fact, he never really did for the entire tournament. some classy touches here and there, and a few assists, but you just get the feeling that he never lifted his game. today was no exception.

akira kaji was everything the critics said he was. the weak link in japan's defence.

don't get me wrong. japan played well. they did very well to come back within 5 minutes the first two times they went behind. they just couldn't cope with the saudis' counter attacks.

the difference between japan and saudi is that saudi has two or three players who are bloody quick and skilful, and can take on defences by themselves, whereas japan usually relies on their passing to create openings. on this day, you might say the direct approach won.

i thought osim did very well to take japan to this level. i think this is the best football japan has played in modern times. much better than troussier's and zico's. but osim failed terribly in one aspect. he has been accused of favouring jef united players. and there are quite a number of them in his squad. the controversy is that jef united are in the bottom half of the table in the J league. and you look at his squad again, at the bench, and you know what the hell is the problem.

there is no one to come in and win the game.

when sato came on, nobody was excited. when hanyu came on, nobody gave a damn. when yano came on, who the hell was he? sure, hanyu hit the crossbar. but after endo and kengo nakamura left the pitch, i think it was over. japan's best team was no longer on the pitch.

i think yasser al qatani will be the player of the tournament. which is a disappointment for me, because i thought yuji nakazawa was deserving of it. and for me to say that a defender deserves to be named the player of the tournament says something about him. because i never really realise what a really outstanding defender is like until i watched him play. maybe because in the epl, in european football, in la liga, you always focus on the attack. and somehow, at asian cup level, you can take the time to look at how centre backs play. i thought nakazawa has been fantastic, consistent, strong, and really a leader at the back. reads the game well, scored the first equaliser, scored that winning penalty against australia. so you can say he contributed to attack and defence. he shone out in the japan team, really. and to me, japan played the best football in the competition. even better than the saudis.

it's just such a shame that things have turned out this way.

it's the same old story again.

random

the signs were there. i had already escaped twice. i should have taken the hint. but i still went ahead. and now i pay the price.

attackers always take risks. sometimes they lose the ball. like now.

22 games to go. potentially reduced to 21.

every game is a final.

Corinne

"What do you think of that newcomer?"

"Okay, i think. Why?"

"I don't know. She doesn't look like she's cut out for the job. And her dress sense is. Oh well."

"Well, i don't know."

"And she looks as if she's got a problem."

"I guess she isn't your favourite person huh."

"Well..."

"Maybe 'cos her name is Corinne?"

"So what?"

"Well, you know best. Corinne is a sensitive name."

"I don't know what you are saying."

"Trust me, you do. Give her a chance. Maybe she just might replace Corinne, you know."

and he winked.

Well, it's Anfield

Huysegem has said that his primary objective today is to make sure the team preserves their unbeaten run, which now stretches to 18 games.

They have a big advantage from Holland. 4-0 can you imagine? They don’t even need a draw. They certainly don’t need to win.

So their objective today is to avoid defeat. To do that, Ajax will play with a 4-4-2 for the first time this season. He brings back Santiago Sarossa for Gianpaolo Ferronomo. And Koovens starts in midfield with Flannen. On the flanks, Kafka and Rijkhem, who plays his first competitive match of the year.

Has been out for a long time, hasn’t he?

Yeah. And interestingly, Szekely and Debuchy will lead the attack.

So Tokiwa is on the bench. Thiers is on the bench. Sofronie the hat-trick hero is on the bench.

3 match winners on the bench.

He has left Battaglia in Holland. Battaglia had to come off in their 2-1 win over Heerenveen on Saturday with a calf problem.

Huysegem isn’t taking any chances. He has a crunch game at Feyenoord this weekend. That explains why Tokiwa, Thiers and Sofronie are on the bench.

I suspect Flannen won’t play the whole game.

Unless things go terribly wrong of course, in which we can expect to see the trio come in.

So is it over for Liverpool?

Well, at the moment it looks bad, even before the ball is kicked. But this is Anfield. They are capable of miracles here.

Miracles or not, we shall see in a moment.

Thirty minutes to go, it is still 0-0.

Flannen. Flannen. He is on a rampaging run. Flannen…he’s running through the midfield. Slips a pass. Debuchy latches on to it. Debuchy rounds the keeper…Debuchy…how about that for a cool finish!

Liverpool are totally finished now, surely. They need 6 goals, can you believe it? Ajax are now 5-0 up on aggregate. And they even have an away goal now.

Huysegem has said they don’t need to win. And they seem to have half a mind on the Feyenoord game. And yet they have taken the lead.

20 minutes to go, Flannen will come off. Amazingly, Tokiwa will come on.

That’s a shock. They have the game in the bag. They don’t need to bring Tokiwa in.

15 minutes to go. The crowd are jeering their own team. And we have a double substitution for Ajax. Thiers and Sofronie ARE coming on.

Looks like Debuchy and Kafka will make way.

I don’t know what Huysegem has in mind. But he certainly is taking a risk.

And it’s all over. Ajax have come away from Anfield with a very famous victory indeed. Started without 4 of their first team players, and they have beaten Liverpool 1-0.

“Congratulations on another great European night. But, Mr Huysegem, why did you bring Tokiwa, Sofronie and Thiers on, when you are up 1-0.”

“Well, it’s Anfield. It’s a special place in European football. Of course we have to consider the Feyenoord game. But I thought I couldn’t deny them the chance to play on this ground, just because we have a big game coming up.”

“So having reached the last eight, are you looking to go further than last year?”

“Definitely. You always hope to improve. We went out to Valencia on away goals last time round, so we hope we can do everything right this time round, and go on. We want to see how far we can go. It’s really a test of how good we are, how strong we are, against Europe’s elite.”

“Any preference for your next opponent?”

“Every team has its own strengths. Just as we have our own.”

Almost Perfect

We have the lineup out for you. Ajax makes three changes to the team that won in Utrecht on Sunday. Klompe in goal, Michele and de Bruijn in central defence. Van Kijns on the right. And here’s the change: Ferronomo in place of Santiago Sarossa on the left. Battaglia returns in place of Koovens to form a midfield trio with captain Flannen and Tokiwa. Kafka, Sofronie and Thiers start upfront. So Yusuf is on the bench today.

Foul on van Kijns. Battaglia releases the ball immediately. Sofronie! Sofronie…GOAL!

Liverpool are protesting. But I don’t know what they are protesting about.

Van Kijns placed the ball on the ground. Battaglia came up to it, spotted the run of Sofronie, plays a perfect ground pass to him. Sofronie broke past Collins and tucked the shot into the far post. Absolutely good goal.

Yup. Oh, Sofronie pushed the ball through Collins’ legs and ran inside of him.

What an audacious pass to himself. Sheer class.

7 minutes into the game, and Ajax are ahead.

Long pass from Flannen…Sofronie gets to it. He is taking on the defenders. He’s through…and he scores…what a brilliant goal.

How on earth did he squeeze past Johnson and Peres? Curling shot into the far post. He’s scored from the right, and now from the left. They can’t seem to stop him.

Ajax, still so dominant since the restart. It’s Thiers. Thiers to Flannen. Flannen to Tokiwa. Tokiwa’s flick…Thiers is inside. Thiers shoots! Saved! Sofronie tucks in the rebound…GOAL!

That’s the hat-trick. Sofronie has been outstanding today.

Sofronie will come off for Imre Szekely. It’s a standing ovation. Huysegem says he is the complete forward. And I think we have seen that today.

Battaglia to Flannen. Picks up the return. Shapes to shoot…oh what a goal! What class!

Absolutely. He looked as though he was going to shoot, the legs of Weissbach came in, he touches the ball to his right foot, and just chips the ball in. The keeper never saw that coming. Master-class.

4-0 to Ajax, can you believe it?

Ajax were totally in control.

Huysegem will now bring off Thiers for Debuchy and Battaglia for Koovens.

And the whistle goes. I think Liverpool would be relieved to hear that. They certainly didn’t expect to lose like this. But Ajax, were simply total.

“So is this the best performance of the season?”

“I think we can take pride in this match. We played well. We created chances, put them away. And we defended high up, which was what we set out to do. We had the game under control. And we go to Anfield with an advantage.”

“So, is this the best performance of the season so far?”

"It is almost perfect.”

Great European Night in Kiev

And the whistle goes. It is half-time here in Kiev. Dynamo Kiev leads Ajax 1-0 courtesy of a penalty from Myskin, after he tumbled in the box under pressure from de Bruijn and Michele. Ajax had contested the decision, but it stood, and Myskin scored the penalty himself. Ajax now needs two goals. Remember, they need to win here to go through.

Flannen…releases Thiers. Thiers with the shot. Off the crossbar! Kiev survives again. They have been under severe pressure from Ajax since the restart.

Understandable. Ajax needs the goals, and Kiev just needs to hang on.

Ajax have totally dominated the second half so far.

The ball goes out. And Huysegem is ready to change things. Thiers will come off.

He has been very lively, creating a lot of problems, but Huysegem has decided that he needs the experience and guile of Kafka on the pitch. It is a double substitution. Imre Szekely will also come on for Santiago Sarossa, the left-back. This should mean that they will switch to 3-1-2-2-2, with Flannen protecting the defence, and Battaglia and Tokiwa running the midfield.

This is interesting. They are bringing on somebody who can play as target man. This not only gives them another option, but also takes some pressure off Sofronie.

We will see how it works out. 20 minutes to go, and who knows how much after that.

Excellent sliding tackle from Flannen. Battaglia gets to the ball. Battaglia with a long pass… Header by Szekely. Oh, it’s fallen to Sofronie. Sofronie!

Wonderful through pass to Kafka. Kafka…Kafka…GOAL! Ajax have equalized with 7 minutes of normal time to go!

Look at this again. Szekely is big, he can win the aerial balls, and here he’s done it. Every Kiev player backtracking sees Sofronie, but Sofronie sees Kafka. One touch, and Kafka is through on the left. And tell you what, Kafka never looked like he was going to miss.

Huysegem’s gamble has seemed to done it. The two subs were involved in the goal. But the question now is, can they get another one, or would it be too little, too late?

It’s going to be a long night in Kiev.

Kafka, twisting and turning so well. He’s cut the ball back now. Switches the ball to his weaker right foot…A high ball from him. Tokiwa! Oh, what a fantastic goal! Pure technique, pure class.

What the hell were Kiev thinking. Look at how much space he’s got. You don’t leave a player like Tokiwa alone outside the box. The ball comes, nobody goes for the challenge, and he just swings, connects perfectly, and the keeper has no chance at all.

Surely, a contender for Goal of the Tournament.

Tokiwa Takuro has shown glimpses of his talent in the previous season, but he has really come into his own this season.

And Ajax may have just gotten the match winner here. We are going into injury time. Three minutes of it. And what a reversal of fortunes.

The look on Vashyinin’s face says it all.

Substitution again for Ajax. Surely to waste precious time. It’s the goal-scorer Tokiwa who will make way for Hans Vanagem, the teenage defender.

Here comes Ajax again. Kafka, Kafka, still Kafka. Kafka drives the ball across…Yusuf Ghaly taps it in…and it’s 3-1 to Ajax. Pure inspiration from Kafka. Simplest of goals for Yusuf.

This is turning to be one of those great European nights for Ajax.

Surely Kiev have no answer now.

The whistle goes, it’s all over. Kiev are out, Ajax go through behind Juventus, after staring at elimination right up till the 83rd minute, when Kafka equalized. Then they got the winner in the 89th, Tokiwa with a magnificent volley. And Yusuf rounded things up late in injury time.

A great achievement for the Dutch Champions. They have come to Kiev and done something no team has done for the past two years. Not even Juventus who were beaten 3-2 here on Matchday 1.

Ajax’s unbeaten run in the Champions’ League has just been stretched to 17 games.

A remarkable feat, considering that they had played Juventus, Kiev and Galatasaray away.

So, Ajax will celebrate tonight. They have reached the Round of Sixteen for the third consecutive season.

no killer pass

i think what is good about these two years is that i get alot of chance for reflections. and that's good because i think i know myself better.

maybe people might think my declarations, which stem from my reflections, are somewhat egoistic and arrogant. which probably isn't that wrong anyway, considering that's leo, and i think i have all the negative traits of one. but the reason why i make such statements is usually more because i need to get them out. it is my way of confronting things. and 80% of the time, i prefer confrontations to solve problems. of course the other 20% of the time, i run away, usually because i find absolutely no point in trying to talk.

what i have discovered about myself is this: i am mostly marc overmars. i like to push the ball forward, i like to get forward. in fact, i am always ready to attack. a coiled ball of energy waiting for that killer pass. the total time taken for the goal is a mere few passes and a few seconds. that is how fast i can move. and how fast i want things to be done.

unfortunately, some things are holding me up right now. i could easily have settled everything within this week. but they can't give me an answer. simply because they are just being themselves. inefficient, clueless, hesitant, negative.

i am also like overmars in that i am a journeyman. actually most dutch are. look at all the great players of the past, and i think among the top european nations, the most well-travelled are the dutch. the english nowadays don't leave britain; the spanish only started leaving iberia recently; the italians like it in italy. only the dutch could be found everywhere. though the french have caught up.

i know i need to move on to learn even more. i also want to move, because i know there is little else here left for me. it's like i have exhausted most possibilities here. and i dun like the idea that if i stay, the two years gap would be so obvious. i would rather start from zero elsewhere, than from negative here.

and staying here would mean following other people's paths. going through things others have gone through two years ago. i dun like to follow in people's footsteps. because then i would be behind, catching up. that's why i hate the system, because we are put two steps behind right from the start. even though right up till two years ago, we were equal. it's like a sudden point deduction for no reason.

that's why it's time to move. both in september and in january.

i hope another trip to japan can be to me what it had been for arsene wenger.

arsenal

i just read arsene wenger's biography The Professor.

the most amusing part must be Pat Rice's reaction to being shown a photo of Ljungberg making a V-sign after being controversially sent off. "he was ordering two tickets for the scotland-england game"

the book certainly revives fond memories of the anelka-overmars-bergkamp days. wad a scintillating attacking trident.

i think you can say that arsene wenger has so far overseen 4 teams during his reign.

1) the team he inherited from george graham. the defensive one.

2) the team with anelka, bergkamp, overmars, petit, vieira

3) the team with henry, bergkamp, vieira, pires

4) the team with henry, van persie, fabregas.

and we are on the verge of having a fifth team. the one without henry. ignoring the fifth, you can see an evolution. a development of a style which to him is the highest ideal in attacking football. from 1 to 2, he introduced pace and a sharp direct approach. from 2 to 3, the pace remained, but the team became more comfortable with shorter passing. from 3 to 4, the pace is still there, but now the style is even more refined. the passing is phenomenal, the pace breathtaking.

i am interested to see what happens next.

it is not easy to choose the right time to go.
but whatever happens, the life of a club never stops.

penalties

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eWc8tVWjaQ

i was watching the penalty shootout between australia and japan again.

i can't help but feel fascinated by yasuhito endo's no-look pass into the goal. too bad they showed the reactions of the aussie coach and osim, rather than a close-up replay of the penalty. it would have given me a clearer picture of what he really did.

and i guess there was just way too much pressure on naohiro takahara. his miss was reminiscient of roberto baggio's in 1994. thankfully, it didnt cost japan the semi-final berth. although i did for a second wonder if it was going to be a penalty shootout drama in favour of the aussies.

but for the match itself, it exposed japan's lack of plan b and lack of depth. i took a look at the saudis. their attack seems to be pacey. but their defence looks shaky against the direct approach of the uzbeks. which doesn't say anything for the japanese, because they don't play like that. perhaps it would be another tactical game.

but although i think the saudis look better than the aussies, i still think that the aussies were more dangerous. maybe because you think they could have raised their game a notch or two, while what you see of the saudis is probably the best you can get.

so i am predicting a japan-korea final.

super sub

when do you bring on a substitute?

-when a player is tired, you need to inject some new energy.

-when the game plan isn't working, you need a different approach.

-when you need to run down the clock. substitutions waste time.

-when a key player is out, you just need a replacement.

depending on the reason the substitution is made, a sub has to fulfil a specific role. of course it would be a bonus to do more, but often, he just has to do enough. like all other players. but since he is a sub, his responsibility is usually different from the rest. and there should of course be less expectation, since such a move is usually sort of a gamble.

so a sub might be brought on when the team is down. but he only needs to liven things up. if he can get the equaliser, create the equaliser, that would be a bonus. then he can be hailed as a hero. a supersub.

i am not interested in being a substitute.

i want to start. i want to be an important first team member of the squad.

bayern

i was very relieved when nakazawa sent his penalty in. i am just so glad japan pulled through. but if they had gone out, i must say, we can only blame ourselves for not killing off a 10-man opposition. that's a sin, whatever people might say about 10 men being harder to play against sometimes.

japan were superior. that's all i can say. but victory would be so much sweeter if the job had been done in 90 minutes.

and vietnam totally let me down. luckily bayern saved the day. i averted disaster, all thanks to bayern.

transfer

it was a very difficult decision for me to make...one of the hardest in fact. because i really love ajax alot. and i said before that i would only leave ajax if another club can make me throw down everything and quit ajax.

to be frank, there hasn't been another club like ajax. and i think there never will be. but maybe this is a good time to go, because things aren't quite the same. and the rest back at ajax thinks it is a good opportunity.

when i made the decision, i couldn't really sleep. i still think: "what have i done?". but things have indeed happened. and i think i have to see where i go from here.

but i will miss playing at ajax. the style, the team. everything.

-Tim Michele, on his move to Juventus.

webs

sometimes we weave webs. things/decisions/actions that cover for each other. such webs are supposed to give us a sense of security and are probably borne out of a single decision which we want to make, but yet have no full confidence in. so we add on another part to it, so that if it does fall short, the other part can offset it. and yet we find shortcomings in this addition, and so we add another. and another and so on.

if we are not careful, if we make a mistake in the calculation, or there is simply just no chance of eliminating all risks in the endeavour, we end up with a massive web that is seemingly flawless but is, in reality, extremely vulnerable, because all the parts end up becoming interdependent on one another. Thus the web becomes like a shaky building on many pillars; should a pillar collapse, the whole building would follow.

just like a web of lies.

wingers

wingers all tend to make a mistake- trying to push the ball forward too much in attempting to put in a cross.

i might have made that mistake.

maybe i should have kept possession and be patient.

but then again, it might not have been a bad choice. sometimes, it is better to bring things to a closure. i said three times, and i mean it.

of course the outcome is not known.

but like the match in which the opponent is running down the clock, i know that with each passing hour, the cross isn't going to result in a goal and i am going to lose.

but then again, it might just go in.

asian cup

i am quite stunned that china is out of the asian cup. but it doesn't mean i am unhappy about it. truth is, i am damn happy about it. i just never expected them to go out in the first round. it is always nice when things that you don't like disappear by themselves like this. but i caught the second half of the game between china and uzbekistan. i have got 2 things to say.

1) being positive, meaning attacking, will reap its rewards, even if it doesn't always work out. china went to defend from the start, apparently. while the uzbeks kept trying to attack. and of course, china paid the price. they took off dong fang zhuo for a dm, and then uzbekistan scored. and when that happens, you know you have no more options on the bench to change things around.

2) one person can ruin everything. the biggest culprit for china must be their keeper. he failed to hang on to the ball twice, and that was how they scored their first two goals. already, his handling was suspect prior to the goals. but the end result must still have been humbling: one man can really make such a big difference. although in this case, it is very, very negative.

so the quarter-finals draw is out:
japan v australia
iraq v vietnam
iran v uzbekistan
saudi arabia v south korea

well, i might have derided australia by comparing a particular organisation to the oceania australia. but that was just it. the truth is that i think australia is the most dangerous team, in japan's pov, in the tournament, especially now that china is out.

i think it is a bad draw for japan, not that they have any say; it was all australia's fault for screwing themselves up. it is a bad draw because australia are rugged, and they can be very physical. and of course they just rediscovered their form in the last game against thailand. at least in terms of result.

japan has shown that they can play very pretty football. they are easily the most impressive team FOR CERTAIN PERIODS of their games. if they play at that level, they are champions. as simple as that. their biggest problem is that they don't, or they can't seem to.

japan has two glaring flaws that contribute to this. first is their mentality. they slip into lapses of concentration and turn complacent more often than otherwise deemed comfortable. well, what to do? all my teams and players have this affliction. i think they are all just not mentally strong/prepared/tuned enough.

the second is that they only have 11 players and so there is no plan b. the subs osim brought on have been less than impressive. and i doubt they can change the game. there must be people on the bench who can change the game. we either hope that there indeed ARE, or we don't ever need to find out.

but australia is the team i really wish to avoid. i hope they dont do a brazil. and in any case, they are the team best suited to expose both of japan's flaws.

it is not going to be easy. but if japan can pull through, i dare say they will be the champions. in fact, i think the winner of this tie will go all the way to win it.

german

the other day, we were walking along the street, when we hurried past this couple.

i caught abit of their conversation. and i couldn't help but smile.

because i recognised it to be german. it's good to hear it, because i haven't really heard it these 2 years.

it is like a close friend who has gone away. someone whom you are familiar with, but you have lost contact with for a while. we will get back together soon

and i still don't understand why people say german sounds uncouth. i think it sounds elegant too. as much as french, italian, spanish, japanese, whatever. i think i just like languages, that's all. and i can appreciate them.

because a long time ago, i knew they are the windows to a bigger world. and i really have discovered for myself how true it is, and how they really break barriers between people.

imagine the smile on someone's face when you speak to him in his language.

cristian chivu

i don't know what really happened. they have something of a chivugate over in rome. some unhappiness regarding chivu's future at roma, because of his desire to join inter, apparently. of course, people are calling him mercenary.

frankly speaking, my memory of him stopped at his move to roma. i don't really know how well he is faring. he should be doing well, considering that he is being linked to real, inter, barca.

i only remember him as captain of ajax in that unforgettable run to within a minute of a place in the champions' league semi-final. and of course i remember his words, when he left.

i hope i will always be welcome here.

and of course in an interview 2 years later, he would describe describe his return:

they are in my heart, and now i know for sure i am in their heart.

and to describe ajax:

it's love always. love always.

that's why he is loved. you might say i am naive for believing in stuff like this, especially given his current rep of being mercenary. but it's good to be naive sometimes. because it keeps things alive.

every day you live, you have to learn something and live it to the end.
i learn that in life you don't have to make promises.

copa america

i sort of saw it coming. but just didn't really believe it would happen. but brazil are copa america champions again. and in a rather convincing way, which was what i thought would happen.

what happened to argentina was basically what happened to henin in wimbledon. they don't know how to react to setbacks. there was certainly despair. you might argue that they went down against usa but came back to win 4-1. usa were never in brazil's league.

brazil played to plan. riquelme didnt show up. messi was shut out. tevez was alone. the defence was asleep. and the cup goes to brazil. as simple as that.

alot of people, when you ask them about tevez, will tell u that tevez is a winner who carries the team. well, i think the person in the stadium this morning who most embodies the quality of a 'winner' within him is dunga.

they started with a defeat. they were criticised throughout. and when the whistle was blown, i am sure everyone would agree, that argentina had no answer to brazil's game. all the usual stats, eg shots on goal, would show that the match was even, and possession was clearly in argentina's favour, close to 60 percent i think. but stats don't show everything. brazil's counterattacks were more dangerous. the reason why the number of shots was ard the same was simply because last ditch tackles were made, crosses were not reached, and brazilian players collided into each other.

brazil has every right to celebrate. while they didnt dominate argentina, they always had the game under control.

a conversation

'won't you ask me if i am seeing someone?'

'any reason why i should be?'

'i don't know how to phrase it...'

'cos if you are, then maybe we shouldn't be having a meal together or something like that?'

'yeah, something like that.'

'well, i think there is no problem, because i am not looking for anything. unless you are confident that you can change that. but then, that would be your worry, not mine.'

shopping list

come august, when the season starts, my transfer season will start. i am on the lookout for a few particular players.

a striker with a powerful shot, aka a camera.

a new defender who reads the game well, aka specs. my defender is really like cannavaro.

a midfielder who dictates the rhythm and tempo, aka mp3

a winger who can send crosses, as well as take shots, aka a phone.

Flight 87, Venprek to Tokyo

“Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the captain speaking. First of all, let me welcome you onboard Flight 87 on behalf of the entire crew. We have just left Venprek Internacio Flehavaar. Our destination is Tokyo-Narita, in Tokyo. Estimated flight duration is 12 hours. We expect to reach Tokyo at 1100 hours, Venprek time, which is 1700 hours Tokyo time. The weather is good, and we expect to have a pleasant flight. Should you have any enquiries, our crew is always willing to serve you. Once again, we wish you a pleasant flight.”

‘So you are leaving at the end of the month?’ you asked.

‘Mm,’ I nodded.

‘Take care of yourself then.’

‘I will. Thanks for all that you have done for me all this while.’

You shrugged it off and started to push your bike. ‘Goodbye.’

‘Bye.’

You had taken a few strides and were about to mount your bike when you suddenly stopped and got back to the ground.

‘I’ll miss you,’ you suddenly said.

Then you hopped onto your bike and pushed away.

‘I’ll miss you too!’ I shouted.

You waved, all the while with your back to me. I watched as you disappeared down the road.

Hey, you know? If you had asked, I would have stayed.

australia

i once used australia as a metaphor. and maybe bits of it are coming true.

australia was a decent team playing in oceania. take it out of oceania, put it in asia, where there is stiffer competition, a different style of play, and they seem to suffer, despite their overwhelming promise.

we can give a lot of reasons, like the weather. but i am not really interested in trying to explain australia's dismal performance thus far at the asian cup.

i am just interested in using australia as my analogy. how a certain group of people, who could have been decent initially, can suffer if u take them out of their league.

the best XI

i thought about my best eleven. how should i choose it?

it is a big headache, because there are so many criteria to base your selection on:

the formation

is it because you like the player, or is it because he is damn good there?

is it supposed to be all-time, or current?

just to name a few.

of course everyone wants kaka, messi, just to name a few in his team but i think i tried to balance these three in answering my question as to who my best 11 are.

toldo, lahm, de jong, borowski, baraja, vieira, aimar, kaka, van der vaart, overmars, vicente, giggs, podolski almost made it.

i tried to think of a right winger, but couldn't really find one.

so in the end, it's this:

1. van der Sar

well, you can't expect me to put lehmann in. but he's there since so long ago. interestingly my strongest memory of him are the two goals he conceded against croatia in the 3rd/4th placing at france 98. but it was a strange and frustrating game.

22. clichy

elegant defender who is dependable and reads the game well.

13. chivu

cultured defender. captain. playmaker from the back. deadball specialist.

5. toure

solid as a rock. committed. lion-heart. scores important goals.

6. trabelsi

athletic. always dangerous on the attack. i just don't know why he is playing for man city.

18. sneijder (number at ajax: 10)

playmaker. double-footed. versatile. deadball specialist.

8. fabregas (number at arsenal: 4)

dictates the tempo of the game. elegant, classy and intelligent.

15. iniesta (number at barcelona: 13)

intelligent passer who links everything together. makes decisions that don't jeopardise the team. versatile. scores important goals. good off the ball running.

10. bergkamp

the number 10. need i say more?

9. ibrahimovic

temperamental. arrogant. but a genius, all the same. flamoyant, stylish.

7. villa

complete forward.

looking at my selection, i realise that the players are all very fluid. sneijder can easily play on the left; iniesta can easily slot into right mid. chivu and toure both roam up at times, especially when the team is trailing. trabelsi and clichy are very good going forward. villa and zlatan can drift as well. so it is a very fluid formation.

the only weakness is of course the dirty work in midfield.

i am more stunned than anything that babel has moved to liverpool.

i thought you wanted to play for arsenal.

how are you going to play for arsenal if you are going to play for liverpool?

it is ridiculous.

perhaps love

j and howl's perhaps love for goong ost
live
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pClRe3UjxBo

wishlist

ajax:
none that i can think of. just even more playing time for all the youngsters. unless we can pry aissati, affelley away from psv? i think we have enough experience. what we need are even more talented youngsters from all over, and that includes psv and feyenoord. if we sell huntelaar, then we need a replacement(like afonso alves) but not if we sell sneijder.

arsenal:
obafemi martins, marco amelia, kompany, nigel de jong, alberto aquilani

valencia:
gonzalo rodrigues. royston drenthe. another rightback.

hamburg:
none i can think of.

hatred

a long long time ago, i came across the following in the newspapers. sort of a reaction to the virginia shooting.

if you hate a person, you hate something in him that is a part of yourself. what isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us- herman hesse

ich wuensche mir, dass es weniger Gewalt auf der Welt gibt und dass so etwas nie wieder passiert. - someone wrote this on the fifth anniversary of a similar shooting in germany.

i wish that there would be less violence in the world, so that something like this will not happen again.

i finally managed to put these here, so that i can etch these words forever into my mind.

big plans

i am really looking forward to the end of this coming week, because i have plans for after it, which i hope hell won't do much to disrupt.

i am going to up my fitness. it is now or never. too much time has been spent rotting. i can only hope that they dun come up with their own plans, because i believe the best way to do it would be by tailoring it to yourself, because you know yourself best. in any case, things planned for the masses are usually not as efficient, because needs are too varied, resulting in too much accomodation.

so if things go to plan,

tue: 5 to 8 k run
wed: anaerobic
thu: anaerobic
fri: 5 to 8k

but i know it won't, cos they would have funny tricks up their sleeves. so i anticipate a need for some adjustments here and there.

lastly, if things can somehow tone down even more, i can start on the other things i have in mind.

my name is red

'to god belongs the east and the west'

orhan pamuk's my name is red won rave reviews.

he was certainly ambitious. i could have imagined writing from many different perspectives within a novel; but he had expanded the scope to include perspectives from objects (a Venetian coin), drawings (a horse, Satan, a dog) and even death.

there was a love story, a detective story and a philosophical/religious discourse. i must say he has managed to bridge everything together quite nicely.

the clash of the artistic styles of the Europeans and the Ottomans, a theme of the story, is a perfect symbol for the clash between East and West. and i thought it was particularly apt that a Turk should write about it, because Turkey straddles East and West. Hence, a Turk would be in the best position to comment. If only all discussions regarding this sensitive issue can lead to the conclusion cited in the novel, that ' to god belongs the east and west', rather than war, maybe peace would really be attainable.

my only complaint about the novel is that it can be very draggy. and even when it isn't, i still take a longer time to complete it, relative to other books of similar length.

irritation

i need to get this out somehow.

i don't like it when some people talk. because i find it very irritating when people talk as if they have the right to talk the way they do, and to say the things they say.

but i won't stop them, because i have no right to. unlike them, i think i have a clear idea of what rights i have. i wish they will realise what rights they have too, and act accordingly. then it would be more soothing for my ears. of course that is a very selfish desire. but just once ok?

valencia

'we have sunny?!'

that was my reaction when i read the latest valencia transfer news. the funny thing was that this was not even the focus; cesar was just saying that we have a good squad, with youngsters like mata and sunny.

this is very exciting. much as valencia is often a pretty irrational place to be, with the backroom tussles and all, we have made shrewd acquisitions. villa. now mata and sunny, two hot young spanish talents making their mark at the u20 world cup in canada right now.

all very good news. we just need another defender to replace ayala.

and then all there is left to do would be to tune the team to perfection.

justine

to lose

the realm of sports has, over the years, witnessed many great stories: comebacks, upsets, whatever you can think of.

while we laud the winners, maybe we should take some time to spare a thought for the losers. because it is never nice to lose. you gotta be kidding if you say you like to lose.

and it is really a wretched feeling to be on the wrong side of a historic moment.

i know how it feels. the pain from holland's 2-3 loss to czech in euro'04 was, and still is, indescribable.

so even as the whole world congratulates marion bertoli, i hope it can empathise with justine henin.

despair

why is being on the wrong side of history so painful? part of the answer lies in one word. despair. i saw despair today. it was all over henin's face. the kind of 'what the hell went wrong' look. the problem is that you can never adequately explain what really happened. there is nothing more you can do; you just wish you can wake up and find that it is all a bad dream. but that's impossible: the 'bad dream' is reality. that is how helpless you are.

and even for an observer, it is unbearable to watch. it really is. at least if you are on her side.

all too familiar

justine henin's defeat was a spectacular collapse. after winning the first set 6-1, she lost the second 5-7, and then collapsed to lose the third 1-6. heart-wrenching, as i watched.

it was all too familiar.

how many times have i watched arsenal like this this year? it is terrible to watch like this, because you are always chasing the game. and when it reaches a point, like in the third set, when she was down 1-5, where you know that there is simply no room for error, your heart is literally in your mouth. it is simply unbearable.

yet you watch on, because it is your team, your favourite. this is not the only paradox.

how can one feel hopeless, and yet harbour hope?

i don't really know. but i know that it is possible. at times like these, even though with each passing second hope is, like candle flames, being extinguished, your faith never wavers; in fact, it intensifies. i am absolutely certain of this.

i only ask: why must this always happen to me? holland, arsenal, ajax, valencia to a lesser extent, and now henin.

so i realise: in order not to feel the pain of losing again, you can only win.

come back stronger. hungrier.

West to East

“Is that all you have?”

“Yeah.”

I watch him disappear down the stairway with the suitcase. When he has completely disappeared from my sight, I turn my attention back to my apartment. Or more accurately, soon-to-be former apartment.

Taking one last longing look at the now-bare interior, I close the door gently, and turn the key in the lock, as if sealing all my memories in the house, happy and sad.

Hopefully, the new owner would like the place. After all, it houses wonderful memories for me. Perhaps that is why, on the other hand, I wish that it would forever remain as it is, filled with only the faint echoes of us.

Anyhow, I can never come back here again without acknowledging that things have changed. Whether or not there would be someone else in the apartment, the only thing that would matter would be the fact that this place belongs to my past.

That is why I should never come back anyway. Because in moving from west to east, Debure to Rheijsmitten, I am merely trying my best to get as far away as I can, to put everything down and start afresh.

password 486

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_X2BG3bASQ

unhappy union

when two or more parties are being put together in a sort of 'forced union', 2 very possible outcomes may arise.

1, it is a happy union.
2, it is an unhappy union.

how outcome 2 can arise can be further classified into 3 ways.

a, both set out to ruin the union.
b, one set out to ruin the union.
c, by a cruel stroke of fate/luck, something unexplainable happened that soured the relationship.

when outcome 2 occurs, there are three remedies:
-let it die a natural death
-accelerate its death
-rectify it.

i think i am in an unhappy union which is forced upon me. it is unhappy because of unfortunate circumstances. and because i am not the kind of person who gives a damn as to how people who don't matter to me think about me, and because i am the kind of person who is difficult to understand, i have chosen to let the union die a natural death. it is also partly because to accelerate its death is beyond my means.

having analysed the situation in its entirety, i think i have made the best choice out of all those available. i always pride myself on making the best decisions given the circumstances. this should be no exception.